Stuck? Why We May Not Always Understand God’s Decisions But They’re Always In Our Favour

We may not always understand the way God shapes our lives, we may not always understand why he sometimes chooses to teach us the hard way and we may not always understand why he simply delays our wishes, our prayers or our desires knowing how much we need them, how much our heart aches for them and how patient we’ve been waiting for certain things to happen.

We may not always understand what he’s trying to teach us but somehow all the pain we went through, all the things we’ve been tested on and all the setbacks and the delayed prayers make us better people, they make us more resilient, more grateful and they make us wiser and stronger. They teach us how to adapt to unfamiliar situations, how to roam new roads calmly, and how to fight harder for the things we truly want.

We may not always understand heartbreak, why God made us fall for people who broke us or betrayed us. Why he moved our hearts for people who took us for granted or were too selfish to give us the love we were looking for and we may not always understand why he didn’t change our feelings before we fell too hard and why it was hard to forget the people who hurt us most but eventually we learn how to live again without them, we learn what we deserve and we learn how to love ourselves a little bit more so we don’t allow others to diminish our value or decide our worth. Eventually, we learn how to be alone because more often than not, we will have to fight the toughest battles alone, and more often than not, we will climb the steepest mountains alone.

We may not always understand loss or grief, why we lose our loved ones too soon, or why life separates us from the people we need the most. We may not always understand how our worst nightmares are good for us or essential for our growth but we end up learning that sometimes those tragedies are the turning point in our lives, the incidents that shook us also changed the way we live, changed our character and changed our perspective; how we look at life and how we look at people. We end up learning that when some things die inside of us, we become fearless and somehow pursue everything that used to scare us and we start going after the things that we kept postponing.

We may not always understand God’s decisions even if they cause us pain, confusion, or heartbreak but they’re always in our favor even if we can’t see it yet. Time will always reveal the truth and connect the dots so we can see that everything we questioned was exactly what needed to happen so we can get to a much better place and get a much greater reward than what we had originally planned for.

Source: Rania Naim

How To Stop Being So Lazy: 8 Simple Habits

“How soon ‘not now’ becomes ‘never’.” – Martin Luther

When I was younger, in my early twenties, I was often lazy.

Too often actually.

And so I didn’t:

Years later I still love lazying around and not doing much at all.

But I’ve also learned how to keep that lazy time to a moderate and healthy amount instead of letting it hold me back and stuck in the same place of excuses for years like it used to.

This week I’d like to share 10 simple habits that have helped me to make that change.
To stop being so lazy and get what really matters done by working smarter. While still having room for guilt-free lazy time to spend as I like.

1. Be kind to yourself.

When you feel that you’ve perhaps been too lazy lately it’s common and tempting to beat yourself up about it and to hope that will lead you to start taking action.

Sometimes it does. But I have found that beating yourself up most often just leads to feeling guiltier and like a failure.

And so you feel less motivated to get going and you procrastinate because there seems to be little point in even trying.

Instead of getting stuck in that self-esteem sucking place I recommend to gently nudge yourself towards the next tip in this article whenever you feel like you want to beat yourself up.

2. Start with just a small step forward.

Stop Being Lazy 2

The hardest thing is often to simply get started.

So make that as easy as you can to reduce the inner resistance and to actually take action. Start with just taking a small step forward:

  • Go out running for only 3 minutes.
  • Do the dishes for 5 minutes.
  • Write on that report you’ve been procrastinating on for 10 minutes.

I use this habit almost every day in some way.

3. Do a small part of what matters most first thing in your day.

To feel like you can enjoy your lazy/rest time fully and without guilt it’s important to actually get what truly matters in the long run done each week.

So start your day with that. But make it easy on yourself by breaking down that task into smaller steps and then focus on just the first one.

Get on it right away to get into an effective and focused mindset.

By doing so you set a good tone for your day. You get that quick 5-10 minute win in first thing and you’ll be a lot more motivated to keep going on that path during the rest of your day.

Instead of starting with busy work like checking emails – this may be vital to do first thing for some but for many it’s probably not – or checking Facebook etc. and then 30 minutes later getting started with today’s work.

4. Cycle fully focused work with small breaks of rest/lazy time.

To lighten up your daily work inject small breaks between doing short but focused burst of work.

Say to yourself: I’ll do 20 minutes of work on this task now and then I can take 5 or 10 minutes of lazy time.

By breaking down your hours like this the work seems less daunting.

And you’ll feel energetic and motivated longer and do work of better quality if you allow yourself these pauses of rest and time to lazy around on Facebook, with a game or with just relaxing in the grass or with short walk in the park.

Then, after some time, you may want to work for 40 minutes before you take a 10 minute break. But go easy on yourself at first.

5. Shut down the escape routes temporarily.

Stop Being Lazy 3

Just sitting down at for example your computer and trying to do fully focused work for 5 or 20 minutes may not result in any work of importance getting done.

Not if you don’t remove those things that you usually use to procrastinate.

So ask yourself: where do I usually escape to instead of doing my work?

For me it’s for example often my smart phone and checking my social media handles, or random internet browsing.

So I put my phone in silent mode and I put it at the other end of our home when I work. By setting up that small physical obstacle I avoid the phone trap maybe 95% of the time.

If you:

  • Have the same issue with gaming then put your controller far away in your home while working.
  • Escape to Facebook or other websites on your computer then block that for a little while by using for example StayFocusd.
  • Watch TV then pull out the cords to it. Or remove one of the cords completely and put it at the other end of your home.

6. Be OK with stumbling from time to time.

The fear of failure can hold you back in a state of doing easier things and in what you may see as being lazy.

But everyone that go for what they truly want and outside of their comfort zone stumbles and fails from time to time. That’s just a part of a life well lived (even if we don’t hear about people’s setbacks as often as their successes).

See a setback as a learning experience and as a way to be more constructive and kinder to yourself.

You can do that by asking yourself these two questions after you’ve stumbled:

  • What is that 1 thing I can learn from this situation?
  • How would my best friend/parent support me and help me in this situation? (Then talk to yourself and do things like she or he would).

7. Let the enthusiasm, energy and motivation of others in.

Whatever you let into your mind and life will influence you.

If the people you hang out the most with are generally a bit lazy about work or school then it’s easy to just adapt to that mood and way of thinking and go with it.

But if you spend more time with motivated people in real life and via books, the internet, podcasts and audio books then that will start to influence your thinking and mood too.

So think about what you let into your mind on a daily and weekly basis and if you want make a few changes to that.

8. Truly appreciate and enjoy your lazy time.

Time spent on just lazying around helps me to relax and recharge and it makes me happy.

But if I do it too much then it does become less healthy for me. It:

  • Starts to frustrate me because I’m not moving forward towards what I want.
  • Creates stress instead of relaxing me because I’m not getting what’s important done and that could have negative consequences quite soon.

Still, at a moderate amount spending some time on being lazy is truly beneficial for me.

And I’ve found that when you think a little about how you want to spend your lazy time – no matter if it’s a 10 minute break or a lazy Sunday – and use that time on something you really enjoy like reading a book you love rather than aimlessly watching TV-shows you’re just OK with then that time does not only brings more happiness and fulfillment.

I’ve also learned that when I spend my lazy time in this more conscious way I’m more motivated and energized to go back to work again later on.

So I make sure to appreciate and fully enjoy the lazy time I have and create for myself because I know that it will benefit me in several important ways.

Special appreciation to Henrik Edberg for this contributing piece.

Feel free to repost!!!

How To Stay Positive While Job Hunting

This is a Guest post.

You’ve just been rejected from a promising job prospect. Now, what?

If you go online and google: “How to handle job hunts,” you’ll be bombarded with messages on how to stay positive. But in that moment of rejection, positivity is the last thing you’ll be feeling, let alone be trying to achieve.

You feel frustrated, and not good enough. For a moment, you take the rejection personally. How can you not? Someone telling you that you’re not cut out for the position puts a dent in your self-esteem. So upon reading these articles on how to stay positive, you become bitter, resentful, or worse, you pretend everything is okay, and you repress those emotions of disappointment by holding them inside.

The issue with these job hunt articles is that they create an emotional dissonance because you’re feeling really bad, but they’re telling you to grin and bear it. These articles tell you to be resilient, but you don’t feel resilient in that moment; you may even feel vulnerable.

But that’s okay. Resilience is about recognizing your vulnerabilities and working through them. Don’t let an article tell you how you’re supposed to handle rejection. Handle the hurt the way you need to: vent, cry, get angry and let yourself feel. To paraphrase Morrie in the book, Tuesdays with Morrie:

“Wear your emotions like a jacket for a while; see how it feels. But when you are done, take it off.”

Staying positive is not about denying the frustration but rather acknowledging the hurt and moving on. It’s important not to let the bitter set in. Facing rejection even for the hundredth time does not make you numb to emotion; it’s normal to still feel upset.

The job hunt can get pretty frustrating. So, it’s healthy to let yourself mourn, and feel bad about not getting the position. Remember it’s not personal, it’s strictly business. But you can feel sad, and you can feel resentful. As long as you recognize that emotions can pass. Once you get past rejection, you move on and remain hopeful that the next one will be the right one.

So, what steps can you take to feel better while you’re out there job hunting?

1. Calm down for a second.

Tell the hiring manager, “Thank you for your time,” but here’s another thing I also like to ask recruiters, “Please keep me in mind for other roles should something else arise.” Remember, stay connected if you can.

2. Be angry, be annoyed, cry, be whatever you need to be for the moment.

Take your mourning period. To reach a good place, you need to get the frustrations out of your system. Complain about it to friends, treat it like you would a “date-gone-wrong.” Use that frustration for productive means. Apply to more jobs and continue to network! Whenever I get rejected from a role, I like to distract myself by applying to more openings. Ironically, it makes me hopeful again.

3. Think about it this way: if the door doesn’t open, it’s not your door.

The right role will come your way. If a hiring manager didn’t find that you were an exact fit, perhaps not getting the job is a blessing in disguise. There are two aspects to getting the job: Being the right fit for the role and the right fit for the company culture.

If they told you that you are not the right fit for the role, it just means that the hiring manager saw that your interests would not be fulfilled by this role. You try for a sales position, but they see managerial qualities in you. They know that you won’t be happy with the role, so don’t feel like you’re not good enough.

The same goes for culture fit. If the company culture does not align with yours, you wouldn’t be happy working there. For example, a company with a competitive culture saw that you were not competitive by nature. Had you gotten the role, you would have been stressed and dissatisfied. You’d be a better fit for an altruistic culture.

4. Accept that there was nothing you could have done differently.

Don’t beat yourself up if you felt that you somehow made a mistake, or said the wrong things during an interview. What’s done is done, learn from the experience, and keep it in mind for future interviews. Like I said earlier, it may feel personal, but it is just business. Don’t see this rejection as a fault in you.

5. Forgive yourself.

You did nothing wrong. Look at those interviews as good practice. You tried your best, and you’re all the better for it!

If you have any other contribution to this post. Please feel free to comment.

20.10.2020: The Massacre Of Peaceful Protesters In Lagos State Nigeria

It started as a peaceful protest to reform the Nigerian Police division SARS. But unfortunately it has led to the death of many.

The Lagos State government as refused to catch the army officers that are responsible for this killings. He has failed to give a clean approach on how this kind of terror happened around his clock. He says “The directive came from above his power”. But I ask again, who is the governor of the state?

We live in a country where fundamental human rights is not respected. We have been robbed of our voices and peaceful demonstration. The so called president we have is no better than a dead man living in a palace. He addressed the nation yesterday, but still kept us in the dark and didn’t even respond or talked about the massacre In Lekki toll gate lagos nor the army officers that were in action that day. He didn’t mention the families and loved ones killed in the peaceful protest.

What a disaster.

Its not only crazy and uncalled for to order the military to shoot at unarmed peaceful protesters, its also embarrassing for a “democracy”

They had seen nothing like it. I mean, how dare we face our oppressors? They spoke the only language they understand; violence, when we only came with our voice and our flags.


The sacrifice of the fallen heroes won’t be in vain, and may their blood be on the path of every perpetrator of this evil.

For them, we fight.


Despite What People Say, Your Reputation Is Just As Important As Your Character

Hey guys!

As I was surfing the internet as always for inspiration, I stumbled on this piece that will blow your minds out. At first when I was reading through, it was as if everything was all about me. Am sure reading through also can relate to you too.

Conventional wisdom tells us that your character should matter more than your reputation. After all, one is who you really are, while the other is just what other people perceive you to be.

While there’s certainly virtue in knowing that no misperception of you can really impact the truth of who you are, it is a false notion to think that we don’t have to care what other people think about us.

However, we hear the opposite as a rally-cry all the time.

It doesn’t matter what other people think!

Except it does, because everything you want in life involves other people.

Now, small-minded people who are intent on disliking you for their own prejudiced reasons are not what we’re talking about. No, we’re not even talking about the people who dislike you for legitimate reasons.

Your reputation does matter as much as your character because the way people perceive you is who they imagine you to be, and who they imagine you to be determines how they will interact with you, what they offer you, whether or not they want to work with you, and whether or not they show up for you.

You cannot behave like a social pariah and then just fall back on the idea that it “doesn’t matter what other people think” because you’re a good person at heart.

All that goodness will be for nothing if you aren’t actively considering the opinions of others. No, not so they can weigh you down and stop you from pursuing your goals, but because when other people have a consensus about you, you’re typically the common denominator.

It matters what the people in your close circle think.

It matters what your partner thinks.

It matters what the people you love think.

If everyone in your life thinks you’re making a mistake, you might really need to take a moment to consider whether or not you might be. If everyone in your life is warning you about your new partner, you might need to take a moment to consider if perhaps they have a point. If everyone in your life seems to have the same problems with you, for the same reasons, in the same patterns, at the same frequencies, you might really need to take a moment and determine whether or not the world is just crazy and out to get you or if, perhaps, there’s also a pattern in your behaviour.

It’s easy to not care what other people think.

It’s convenient, actually.

It totally lets us off the hook, it allows us to validate our own motives and desires without any real consideration for those around us.

The work is not that we completely neglect our own needs and opinions in favour of other people’s.

The work is that we both advocate for and tend to our own needs, honour our own opinions, and still remain cognizant of how people are responding to us.

If you want to get anywhere in life, you have to be a reasonably likable person, or at the bare minimum, not impossible to work with, difficult to connect with, or challenging to love.

And to do that, we have to think about what other people are thinking. Not so their opinions of us can become our own, but so that their opinions of us can inform our own.

In all, I appreciate one of my mentors and excellent writer Brianna Weist for always coming through whenever I need a push in my life. Her piece of work is very deep and encouraging. Also it’s a privilege to always acknowledge your work on my page.

The First Step To Self-Care Is Actually Giving A Shit About Yourself

Hey guys!I was amazed when I set my eyes on this write up. I have no other choice but to share it with you. It is a guest post from one of my role model and beautiful writer Holly Riordan 🙌🔥Please be patient when reading.

The first step to self-care is deciding you matter. You deserve to feel confident. You deserve to feel loved. You deserve to feel whole.

You have to stop telling yourself that it doesn’t matter what you do with your time because no one cares anyway. At the very least, you have to care. After all, you’re the only one who matters.

If other people aren’t paying attention to you, aren’t supporting you, aren’t loving you, that’s outside of your control. The only thing you can control is our own actions, your own thoughts, your own choices.

The first step to self-care is actually giving a shit. It’s deciding that you care about where your career is headed. You care about whether your friendships are stable. You care about what happens to your heart. You care about whether you get enough exercise that day, whether you eat enough that day, whether you take care of your hygiene that day. You care about yourself.

If you don’t care about yourself, if you continue to believe that you are worthless and aren’t going to make it so there’s no point in even trying, then you’re going to get caught in a self-destructive cycle. You’re never going to take a chance on yourself. You’re going to keep coming up with excuses to stay hidden inside your comfort zone. You’re never going to change.

It’s a pretty simple concept. If you don’t care about yourself, you’re not going to take good care of yourself. You’re going to stop trying. You’re going to let yourself waste away. And you cannot let that happen. You cannot forget your worth. You cannot treat yourself so unkindly.

Maybe you’re unable to love yourself right now because you’re distracted by your flaws. Or maybe you made a mistake you consider unforgivable and can’t stop thinking about the past. Or maybe you’re just in a toxic mindset right now.

If learning to love yourself sounds like too big of a leap from where you are right now, you can start by learning to give a shit about yourself.

You don’t have to love your body yet, but you should give a shit about keeping it clean and healthy. You don’t have to love your job yet, but you should give a shit about whether you’re doing the right thing at work. You don’t have to love your life yet, but you should give a shit about continuing it, strengthening it, bettering it.

It’s not going to be easy to change the way you think. It’s not going to be easy to suddenly start giving a shit about yourself after years of not caring at all — but it might be a little bit easier than suddenly loving yourself unconditionally.

Give a shit about whether you make healthy decisions that day.

Give a shit about whether you compliment yourself that day.

This is a guest post.

The Truth About Transforming Your Life Is That It Is Often Means Doing Less, Not More

The beginning of a self-transformation requires action, but the end of it requires something deeper, something harder, something you’ve probably never realized before.

While doing more will almost always generate results, there’s an untapped, life-changing magic in doing less.

Sometimes, your problems don’t come from what you’re not doing, they come from what you can’t stop doing.

To really change your life, you probably need to consume less. You probably need to learn to use what you have, to take a breath and stop yourself every time you think you need that one new perfect thing that will magically transform you into a new person.

You probably need to spend less. You probably need to reevaluate your patterns and behaviors and refocus on your long-term goals, prioritizing your future comfort over your immediate gratification.

You probably need to engage less, both with people who are not mentally mature and people whom do not have any intention of having a civil discourse with you. This is not because you can’t speak freely, but because having an exchange with someone whose intent is to fight you rather than connect with you will always be a losing situation.

You probably need to change less. When we start out on our healing journey, it’s about uprooting, replanting, and sprouting. But if you’re unhealed beneath the surface, you won’t be able to lay roots without wanting to rip them out again. Healing, you will find, is not about how many times you can start over, it is whether to not you can bloom.

You probably need to care less. When your mind is consumed with trying to master and perfect every single little thing in your life, you get overwhelmed and give up. Instead, you have to focus on the few things that are actually requiring your attention, and then build from there.

You probably need to do less. Not because you shouldn’t be productive, but because you only have so much energy in a day, and when you spend it on things you don’t really care much about, you find yourself constantly exhausted, drained and at your wit’s end.

You probably need to have fewer expectations. Often, we conflate that with having high standards, but they aren’t the same thing. Unrealistic expectations will slowly wreck you, because they require that you achieve perfection immediately. When your expectation is that you should be a natural-born master of whatever you try to do, it becomes really hard to show up and do the work consistently, which is what you actually have to do to achieve mastery.

You probably need to not try so hard. When you try to force people to like you, it usually has the opposite effect. When you try to convince yourself you’re attractive, you usually seem less so. When you are trying to force every outcome in your life, there’s usually a reason they aren’t coming together on their own.

You probably need to give fewer excuses. Not because you’re going to be unkind to yourself, but because the kindest thing you can possibly do is stop avoiding the honest truth about what’s wrong. You cannot keep trying to positive-self-talk your way into thinking you love your life when you do not. When we’re ready to make fewer justifications, it means we’re also ready to make greater change.

The truth about doing less is that it’s going to bring you into stillness. It is going to require you to face that discomfort you’ve been running from head-on.

The truth is that when we first realize we need to change our lives, it is easy to get swept away in the escape fantasy of it all. Everything has to go, and nothing can stay. There’s an addictive quality to starting over, and if you’re not careful, you can confuse it for actually healing.

Truly getting better is learning to be okay where you are, wherever you are. It is actually metabolizing that discomfort for once, listening to it, letting it show you where you are deeply misaligned.

It is to become grounded, to make positive decisions for the long-term, to start breaking those destructive habits that have been fueled by the pain you haven’t quite had a name for all these years.

It is to no longer be controlled by your feelings, but by your ambitions, by your dreams for the future.

When you go about changing your life, sometimes, the most radical shift of all is to do absolutely nothing — and wait for the sun to rise.

This is a guest post from Brianna Weist.

Single’ Is A Status, Not An Identity

Hey guys!

Normally I don’t post on relationships but a friend of mine triggered this that made me to share this piece. Being single is not an identity nor being married. It is a status that will eventually change in the course of time.

You are single. And whether that’s because a previous relationship didn’t work out, someone left, you messed up, you haven’t found your person yet, or you’ve never been in anything serious—this is the simple truth about you—you are (gloriously) on your own.

But this is nothing to feel shame about.

Being single is something to celebrate. Because the word does not define you. Because you are in a place where your thoughts, decisions, actions, and choices directly influence and benefit you. Because you are able to pursue whatever makes you happy, excited, passionate, or wild without anything or anyone holding you back. Because you have time, and there’s no need to rush. Because finding someone to love isn’t, and shouldn’t ever be the central focus of your life.

Because when someone looks you in the eye, they don’t see your relationship status as a label of who you are. Because ‘single’ is a description—not an identity.

Sometimes it feels like the world around you is caught up in connections. You look on social media and you’re flooded with images of happy couples, of marriages, of weddings, of beautiful families with babies. You open your mailbox and there’s another invite to so-and-so’s shower. You walk down the street and watch couple after couple canoodle, hand-in-hand.

Sometimes you can’t help but wonder if there’s something wrong with you, if you’re the one who’s messing up every relationship you fall into, if you’re ever going to find real love.

We’ve all been there. We’ve all wondered, doubted, frowned at our reflection in the mirror. We’ve all questioned whether or not we’re the one to blame, worked on ourselves, got back out there, failed and tried and failed and tried again.

The thing is, sometimes we get so wrapped up in where we stand that we forget who and how worthy we are. We’re so focused on what our relationship status is that we forget the importance of just being, and just being who we are—an entity, all on our own.

We worry whether we’re ‘enough,’ whether we’re ‘too much,’ whether we’re on the right path. We worry about when on the timeline of our lives we’ll fall into our special someone, or if they even exist. We worry about how we look to the rest of the world, if we’re making the right decisions, if we’ve already found our person and just don’t recognize him or her.

But all that worrying does nothing but push us away from the positivity that surrounds us. If we’re so consumed with falling short, we’ll never believe we’re worthy of the love that might naturally fall into our laps. If we’re so focused on all the past relationships that have failed, we won’t appreciate a good one. If we can’t let go of our pain, we won’t make room for new people, new experiences, new chances.

The truth is, none of us have this ‘love’ thing figured out. We’re all navigating, all searching, all trying to find someone whose mess mixes with ours and love them, choose them, fight with and for them as we grow. We’re all failing around, trying to learn who we are and can be alongside someone else.

But the most important thing we must remember is that being ‘single,’ is not an identity.

Sure, you can celebrate your singleness. Sure, you can focus on yourself and keep your distance from connections if you’re simply not ready. Sure, you can be a healthy version of selfish. Sure, you can prioritize your own happiness before engaging with someone else.

But don’t allow your relationship status to define who you are and will become.

You are worth far more than a label that limits you. And who you are as a person is not defined by whether or not you’re loved, or loving someone.

As you live your life, as you work, as you chase dreams and desires as you let go of your past and begin again, as you learn to trust, as you smile and laugh and pursue what feels right—don’t forget this simple fact: Your singleness is a status, a moment in time, a description, not a definition.

You Can’t Please Everyone: Live Your Life

I used to be stubborn to change. Back then, if it’s “not like me” to do something, then I just wouldn’t do it. However this mindset held me back from growing and evolving like we should be.


People will say shit like “you’ve changed,” but isn’t that something we should all be doing (for the better)? Obviously the 21 year old you will have to approach life differently than the 12 year old you did.

I feel like if you want change to happen in your life, you’re going to HAVE to do something out of your comfort zone — or something that will eventually break you out of your normal routine and tendencies. Eventually your new habits and perspective will make you seem like a different person, but I just like to view it as someone who grew and learned. Some moments in life may require you to be that 12 year old you. Other moments will need you to be the 21 year old you. Either way, you can’t expect to please everyone with your personality. You’re the one living your life, not them, so ya do what ya need to do to succeed.

The Unspoken Words of Connection

This is a guest post from Titi Adenuga


It’s in the locking of eyes and letting it stay.

It’s in the curving of lips and letting out a smile.

It’s in the nod of heads in agreement or the wave of hands.

It’s in true and genuine admiration of someone or something.

It’s in the first steps, just like we learnt to walk – ‘hi’ ‘hello’

It’s in the affirmation and the reaching out. Most times, as always, someone must take the initiative.

It’s in the ease and flow – there’s sometimes usually no walls here.

It’s in the remembering of names and recalling it a few minutes or seconds after.

It’s in the hugs and kisses and holding of hands.

It’s even in the words we speak and how we say them.

It’s in letting in – sometimes a little deeper than casual.

It’s in the little things and sometimes in the big ones but most importantly, in how we make others feel –even if you just met them or long after they are gone.

It’s in the impressions – that’s not just a social media buzz word; it’s a human code.

It’s in embracing who we are and what makes us uniquely human.
Love & Light,

Footnotes:
A lot of my thoughts and writings recently have been around human connection. I find it interesting and feel it’s very important for people to learn the art of connection. It is in the simplest things, yet they seem difficult because we love to protect our egos and would rather stick our faces in the light of our phones, scrolling and most times, doing absolutely nothing! Even by doing that, I have learnt that we simply just want to connect. I am not exactly extroverted but I truly enjoy the deep and sweet feeling of connecting with people. We all need our communities (physical and virtual) safer and kinder and to have this ideal community, we must all put in an effort to make it happen – HAVE YOU SMILED AT SOMEONE TODAY?

The Strength In Our Scars

Trace the scars life has left you in. It will remind you that at one point in life, you fought for something you believed in.


You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Mark Twain’s Top 9 Tips for Living a Kick-Ass Life

Originally posted on THE POSITIVITY BLOG.

“It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”

“Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”

“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.”

You may know Mark Twain for some of his very popular books like Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer.

He was a writer and also a humorist, satirist and lecturer.

Twain is known for his many – and often funny – quotes. Here are a few of my favorite tips from him.

1. Approve of yourself.

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

If you don’t approve of yourself, of your behavior and actions then you’ll probably walk around most of the day with a sort of uncomfortable feeling.

If you, on the other hand, approve of yourself then you tend to become relaxed and gain inner freedom to do more of what you really want.

This can, in a related way, be a big obstacle in personal growth.

You may have all the right tools to grow in some way but you feel an inner resistance. You can’t get there.

What you may be bumping into there are success barriers. You are putting up barriers in your own mind of what you may or may not deserve. Or barriers that tell you what you are capable of.

They might tell you that you aren’t really that kind of person that could this thing that you’re attempting.

Or if you make some headway in the direction you want to go you may start to sabotage for yourself. To keep yourself in a place that is familiar for you.

So you need give yourself approval and allow yourself to be who you want to be. Not look for the approval from others. But from yourself.

To dissolve that inner barrier or let go of that self-sabotaging tendency. This is no easy task and it can take time.

2. Your limitations may just be in your mind.

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

So many limitations are mostly in our minds. We may for instance think that people will disapprove because we are too tall, too old or balding.

But these things mostly matter when you think they matter. Because you become self-conscious and worried about what people may think.

And people pick up on that and may react in negative ways.

Or you may interpret anything they do as a negative reaction because you are so fearful of a bad reaction and so focused inward on yourself.

If you, on the other hand, don’t mind then people tend to not mind that much either. And if you don’t mind then you won’t let that part of yourself become a self-imposed roadblock in your life.

It is, for instance, seldom too late to do what you want to do.

3. Lighten up and have some fun.

“Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”

“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”

Humor and laughter are amazing tools. They can turn any serious situation into something to laugh about. They can lighten the mood just about anywhere.

And a lighter mood is often a better space to work in because now your body and mind isn’t filled to the brim with negative emotions.

When you are more lighthearted and relaxed then the solution to a situation is often easier to both come up with and implement.

4. Let go of anger.

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

Anger is most of the time pretty pointless. It can cause situations to get out of hand. And from a selfish perspective it often more hurtful for the one being angry then the person s/he’s angry at.

So even if you feel angry at someone for days recognize that you are mostly just hurting yourself. The other person may not even be aware that you are angry at him or her.

So either talking to the person and resolving the conflict or letting go of anger as quickly as possible are pretty good tips to make your life more pleasurable.

5. Release yourself from entitlement.

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

When you are young your mom and dad may give a lot of things. As you grow older you may have a sort of entitlement. You may feel like the world should just give you what you want or that it owes you something.

This belief can cause a lot of anger and frustration in your life. Because the world may not give you what expect it to.

On the other hand, this can be liberating too. You realize that it is up to you to shape your own life and for you to work towards what you want. You are not a kid anymore, waiting for your parents or the world to give you something.

You are in the driver’s seat now. And you can go pretty much wherever you want.

6. If you’re taking a different path, prepare for reactions.

“A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

I think this has quite a bit of relevance to self-improvement (and also to starting a business online now that I think about it).

If you start to change or do something different than you usually do then people may react in different ways.

Some may be happy for you. Some may be indifferent. Some may be puzzled or react in negative and discouraging ways.

Much of these reactions are probably not so much about you but about the person who said it and his/her life. How they feel about themselves is coming through in the words they use and judgement they make.

And that’s OK. I think it’s pretty likely that they won’t react as negatively as you may imagine. Or they will probably at least go back to focusing on their own challenges pretty soon.

So what other people may say and think and letting that hold you back is probably just fantasy and barrier you build in your mind.

You may find that when you finally cross that inner threshold you created then people around you may not shun you or go chasing after you with pitchforks. 🙂 They might just go: “OK”.

7. Keep your focus steadily on what you want.

“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.”

What you focus your mind on greatly determines how things play out. You can focus on your problems and dwell in suffering and a victim mentality.

Or you can focus on the positive in situation, what you can learn from that situation or just focus your mind on something entirely else.

It may be “normal”� to dwell on problems and swim around in a sea of negativity. But that is a choice. And a thought habit.

You may reflexively start to dwell on problems instead of refocusing your mind on something more useful. But you can also start to build a habit of learning to gain more and more control of where you put your focus.

8. Don’t focus so much on making yourself feel good.

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

This may be a bit of a counter-intuitive tip. But as I wrote yesterday, one of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to make someone else feel good or to help them in some way.

This is a great way to look at things to create an upward spiral of positivity and exchange of value between people.

You help someone and both of you feel good.

The person you helped feels inclined to give you a hand later on since people tend to want to reciprocate. And so the both of you are feeling good and helping each other.

Those positive feelings are contagious to other people and so you may end up making them feel good too. And the help you received from your friend may inspire you to go and help another friend.

And so the upward spiral grows and continues.

9. Do what you want to do.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Awesome quote. And I really don’t have much to add to that one.

Well, maybe to write it down and keep it as a daily reminder – on your fridge or bathroom door – of what you can actually do with your life.

My take- Mark Twain has always been my favourite motivator. From his quotes to teachings about life.

Share and comment.

What We Can Learn As Christians From The Series: God Friended Me

The first time I saw the trailer on google, I was convinced that this series will play a major impact in my life and in many Christians.

God friended me is an American comedy- drama that centres in the life of an atheist who got a friend suggestion on facebook named God. This account suggests new friends suggestion to “miles” who plays the major character, in helping and assisting people.

As an atheist who doesn’t believe in God, yet he does God’s work, so far the aim is to help people in need.

Here are some tips we can learn from this wonderful series as Christians.

  • God can use anyone to do His work. No matter who you are or what your beliefs are, God uses anybody. Remember Jesus dined with sinners and mover with sinners.
  • God knows us more than ourselves. No matter what the flesh does, God sees us more through our hearts and inner mind.
  • Being a christian and born again doesn’t make you perfect. As God uses the weak ans non believers to do His works, it’s a sign that God is not partiality.
  • Finally, God loves each and everyone of us.

I encourage you to start watching this series if you have not started watching. There are a lot of lessons to be learnt.

NB: feel free to comment your contributions and suggestions.

Imagine credit: Pinterest

Living The Life Of An Overcomer [Your Calling as a Christian]

In today’s world we’re told to focus on overcoming external problems. But as a Christian, living the life of an overcomer is an internal focus.

For a long time, I believed that living the life of an overcomer had to do with conquering circumstances, winning an external battle. I thought that living a life of an overcomer meant making things happen despite many challenges. Perhaps this is part of it, but there is more. I’ve come to realize that our internal battles are greater predictors of the outcome and quality of our day to day lives than our circumstances.

I have come to realize that the Lord was calling us to overcome the greater battles of what lie within us.

God is calling us to overcome our thinking and heart meditations; ideas about religion that draw us away from the truth by distracting us with rituals and acts. Early in the New Testament, Jesus quickly points to the importance of concerning ourselves with the condition of our hearts rather than external factors. In our time the focus on what we eat seems trivial, but at that time in history “purity” also had to do with what one ate.

What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them. But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these things defile a man. – Matthew 15:11, 18

How radical was this?

Jesus said this at time when religious people were concerned with doing what appeared to be right. Back then people were so focused on following procedures. This applies to us today as well. We live in a social media world, our bible lets us know that it’s not about being seen by people, but being known by God. That is the power of the truth; it’s time-less.

The heart can’t be seen, but only God knows what is in it.

We are told to focus on overcoming that which can’t be seen. The thoughts and intentions of the heart. It’s that bitterness, judgment, anger, hatred, unbelief, negativity, greed, jealousy, immorality, anxiety, chronic frustration, …The list can go on and on. When we don’t focus on these things that are contrary to the Spirit of God, they begin taking root within us and begin to feel like they are part of who we are. These are the things we have housed for so long that they feel like part of our DNA. This may be normal in today’s world, but it’s not our portion.

We are called to live the life of an overcomer. It’s a calling that only radical Christians can live.

We have to reject what the world says is okay and good for us. We have to refuse to be normal. Even though no one can see it and applaud our efforts, we have to engage in an inner battle to be right with the Lord.

You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. – James 4:4

Everyday we have to overcome our inner self. We can’t do it on our own. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. We have to keep calling upon Him who made us conquerors. Confessing our shortcomings and repenting. The Kingdom of heaven is near. We don’t want to be turned away at the gate while we recite the acts we did in the name of Jesus. The outcome of such a choice was made plain to us.

The Word tells us, many are called but few are chosen. Christ must be Lord of our hearts, sitting on the throne of our hearts. It was revealed to those who choose to believe when Jesus was asked by the disciples which commandment was the greatest. They wanted to know, if we fail to do it all, what must be definitely get right.

This is the anchor for living the life of an overcomer:

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” – Matthew 22:37-40

May God help each of us to have a pure heart; so we can begin living the life of an overcomer.

An inspirational piece from Priscilla Shumba.

The Question is: Are you living the life of an overcomer?