Guest Post: 15 Things To Remind Yourself Of When Life Seems Overwhelming And Difficult

Hello guys,

Raise your hand if this year has been rough. Yeah, I know. We’ve all had a rough year. Some of us have had a rough few years. Now, do me a favour and put your hand on your chest. Do you feel that? That’s called life. Your heart hasn’t stopped beating to keep you alive, so don’t waste any more of it feeling sorry for yourself. There’s time for everything in this life. There’s time to mourn, cry, to be angry, to feel indifferent, but there’s also time to laugh, hug, kiss, and dance. If you’ve been moping for a while, maybe it’s time you remind yourself of these things and finally start living life more fully.

1. You’re more than just your body.

You have a mind, a soul and a heart. The outside is just the tip of the iceberg. There’s so much more in you that people love than what’s on the outside. Put more focus on what’s inside and let that beauty flourish from the inside out.

2. You can do anything.

If you focus and plan, you’ll surely reach those goals. It’ll take work, but it’ll feel good to know that hard work and helping yourself was your key to success.

3. You’re the only person who can make you happy.

No one else can make you happy, nor can you fill voids in the happiness department with material things. You and only you can control your level of happiness.

4. Problems have solutions.

Take a moment. Breathe. Think. Analyze. Plan. Solve. You can do it.

5. Is your problem really that big or are you being dramatic?

Stop and assess. Don’t waste energy on worrying about something not worth worrying about.

6. Be thankful for your support system.

No matter how big or how small, you’re part of a community of people who love you. Appreciate them and give thanks that you have someone to turn to.

7. You’re not alive to impress anyone.

Life is not about fitting in or making people like you because of how you look or what you have. Social media is full of liars and the moment you understand that, the lesser you’ll feel like impressing anyone.

8. Do things for yourself.

If you like it, do it. If it makes you feel good, do it. If it makes you happy, do it. If it makes you feel empowered, do it.

9. Life has a long list of good things ready for you.

You may be in a rut now, but that won’t be forever. Life always gives us sweet surprises. Be on the lookout.

10. Failing doesn’t mean it’s over.

You may have failed 1,000 times and feel like giving up. That’s ok. If you don’t want to give up and know you want to continue persevering, that’s also ok. It’s not over until you say it is.

11. People love you, so why don’t you love yourself?

We have this tendency to constantly self-deprecate. We under-value and under-appreciate ourselves, when the people we know value and love us. If they can love you, you can definitely love yourself too.

12. Life doesn’t suck as much as you think it does.

If we look hard enough, finding the bright side to life isn’t all that hard. Count your blessings, literally. Write them down and be amazed. Your life isn’t that bad.

13. You’re not alone.

We’re all on this journey together. And yes, life can seem easier for some and harder for others, but a wise man once said, “the sun rises for both good and evil”. You’ll get a fair shot at the things you want, but in the meantime, rest assured that everyone is fighting for something. You’re not an isolated case.

14. Messing up just means you’re human.

Congrats, you’re not a robot, or an alien, or a fictional character. You’re a real, live person who stumbles. Dust yourself off and start over. It’s that simple.

15. Don’t deprive yourself of anything lovely.

Never deny yourself the opportunity to love, eat, dance, sing, cry, shout, etc. Go. See new places, make new friends, try new things. Life is short and isn’t meant to be rationed.

Source: Much credit to Fernanda

Don’t Feel Guilty For Doing What’s Best For Yourself

This is a guest post.

Don’t feel guilty for cutting toxic people out of your life. Even if you love them, even if you had wonderful times with them in the past, you have to do what’s right for yourself today. Remember, even though you might be the person ending the relationship, you’re not the reason this has to happen. They brought it onto themselves. It’s their fault. Not yours. You have to do what is best for yourself. You have to put yourself first, even when it hurts.

Don’t feel guilty for putting yourself first, especially when it comes to your mental health. You’re allowed to be selfish. You’re allowed to make decisions that benefit you, even if they upset the people around you. It doesn’t matter if anyone else understands or respects your decision. All that matters is that you care about yourself enough to do what is best for yourself. You should never sacrifice your mental health for anyone else. After all, if they really cared about you, they would encourage you to do whatever you need to do.

Don’t feel guilty for disappointing other people, even the people you love. You can’t make career choices, relationship choices, or any general life choices based on what your parent or partner wants from you. You need to do what brings you the most happiness. There’s no reason to make them happy if it means making yourself miserable. When it comes to your life, your emotions and your opinions are the most important.

Don’t feel guilty for causing conflict. If someone upsets you, you don’t have to pretend everything is fine to keep the peace. You don’t have to act polite when someone is completely disrespecting you. You’re allowed to speak your mind and say what’s wrong. You’re allowed to call people out when they cross an unforgivable line. You shouldn’t feel pressured to stay quiet when you’re suffering on the inside.

Don’t feel guilty about saying no when your plate is full. Even though you have a kind heart, you can’t help everyone who asks for a hand. You don’t want to burn yourself out to please someone else. Sometimes, you need to let others down. Sometimes, you need to do what makes the most sense for you instead of running around, trying to entertain everyone else.

Remember, you’re allowed to be selfish, but this doesn’t mean you need to walk around, only caring about yourself. This doesn’t mean you should say and do whatever you want without any regard for the people around you. This doesn’t mean you’re allowed to disrespect your family and friends. It only means that you shouldn’t let people walk over you. You shouldn’t let others make your decisions for you. You shouldn’t assume family members and friends know you better than you know yourself.

Don’t feel guilty for doing what’s best for yourself. Don’t hesitate to do what makes you the happiest because, at the end of the day, you’re the only person you can rely on.

Guest: Holly Riordan

Image source: Adobe stock

Trust Me When I Say God Always Has A Plan

This is a guest repost.

Trust me when I say God knows what he’s doing. Even if you’re confused and you don’t know how you’re going to move forward or where you’re going to go, he will always open a new door for you. An unexpected door. A door that could lead you to a kind of happiness you never imagined. A door that puts an end to the hard days.

Trust me when I say God doesn’t take things away without giving you something better. God knows when something has served its purpose even if you can’t see it. God knows when things should end even if you’re not ready. God is planning what’s next for you because he knows that you need a change. He knows that he’s taking you to a better destination or guiding you to a more fulfilling life.

Trust me when I say God hears your prayers. He’s listening to you and he’s giving you exactly what you want but in his own way. Maybe his way is different from yours but his way is always the right way. When you ask for happiness and you find yourself drifting away from the people you love, he’s telling you that these are not the people to surround yourself with because they drain you. When you ask for peace and you lose your job, he’s telling you that your future is better somewhere else. When you ask for love and he gives you heartbreak, he’s telling you that you need to make a better choice. He’s telling you you’re loving the wrong people. He’s always answering your questions, you just need to trust his answers.

Trust me when I say God is looking out for you. It may not be easy to see at times and it might be impossible to understand why things happen the way they do but one thing I know for sure is that God won’t leave you alone in the dark. He will guide you. He will inspire you. He will rearrange things in your life so you can change your life. 

Trust me when I say God wants you to count on him. He wants you to learn that people are unpredictable and they change their minds every second. He wants you to know that nothing in life is secure or complete. He wants you to know that there will be times when you’ll just have to count on your faith instead of your logic. He wants you to go through enough problems so you can have enough wisdom to know that he’s the only constant in this life and he’s the only one who can truly heal you.

Trust me when I say God always has a plan for you and that plan always includes what’s best for you.

Credit: Rania Naim

Image credit: Adobe Stock

This Is Me Trying

I am far from complete. I am an unfinished manuscript, collecting dust on a forgotten shelf. I am merely half a canvas, splattered paint that is yet to be a masterpiece. And that’s okay with me. Why would I want to be complete? That would mean the world was done with me.

I have not been sculpted to perfection yet, my fine details are still to be sketched. I would not want to rush the process of perfection, I do not wish for my metamorphosis to be instantaneous.

I want the world to take its time with me. Mold my soul with patience and attentiveness, Lead me to walk through darkness when I am convinced there is no light. Teach me lessons that will shape me into the final version of who I am to be.

I care very little for immediate perfection. I know that society is obsessed with getting it right from the start and I am sorry if I come across as self-righteous, but you’re wrong.

Life is about living. Living is about trying. Trying and learning; never failing. Failing suggests that nothing came of it. There is always a purpose, always a lesson to be learned. This obsession with perfection will only cause you pain; I speak from experience. I, too, wanted everything, now. I almost demanded it, trying to manifest it at my feet. But that is not how this works. If you believe that is the unquestionable truth, you will not live. Seeing lessons as failures will only fill your life with frustration and misery. Perfection is only attainable when our manuscripts are complete. Perfection is within that finished masterpiece.

To live is to try. Those lessons you see as imperfections, they are the words that fill your manuscripts and the brush strokes that create your masterpiece. Trying is the meaning of life. Because we are human. Humans are not perfect. We are never always right and mistakes are what make us individuals.

Your soul is a constellation of imperfections. Imperfections that resulted from a lifetime of trying.

And maybe perfection is not attainable when we reach our conclusions; not in the way you believe perfection to be. Perfection is when you have learned and absorbed every possible thing that life had to offer you. Perfection is closing your eyes for the final time, accumulating every imperfection you collected over the years. Perfection is having spent a lifetime trying.

This is me being dedicated to trying. Trying to learn from those sweet imperfections I am committed to loving. This is me trying to enjoy the process of my chapters being written. This is me trying to live.

Source: Dakota Geduld

Image Credit: Adobe Stock

A Short Story About A Butterfly

Once upon a time, a man found a butterfly that was starting to hatch from its cocoon. He sat down and watched the butterfly for hours as it struggled to force itself through a tiny hole. Then, it suddenly stopped making progress and looked like it was stuck. Therefore, the man decided to help the butterfly out. He took a pair of scissors and cut off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily, although it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man thought nothing of it, and he sat there waiting for the wings to enlarge to support the butterfly. However, that never happened. The butterfly spent the rest of its life unable to fly, crawling around with small wings and a swollen body. Despite the man’s kind heart, he didn’t understand that the restricting cocoon and the struggle needed by the butterfly to get itself through the small hole were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings to prepare itself for flying once it was free.

Moral of the story: Our struggles in life help to develop our strengths. Without struggles, we never grow and get stronger, so it’s important for us to tackle challenges on our own, and not rely on help from others all the time.

Physical Appearance Should Not Be The Most Attractive Thing About You

I am not sure of you but in my opinion, the most attractive people are the ones who know that their physical appearance isn’t the most attractive thing about them. They have a certain kind of confidence, they’re usually more fun to hang out with, and they’re the kind of people who are ready to love you for who you are. Not what you are.

Body image is no light subject. There are people who are suffering legitimate illnesses, mental and physical, relating to how they appear.

At the bare minimum, I assume, everybody feels as though they are sub-par at some point, in some way. I am in no way trying to diminish the suffering that people experience regarding their physical appearances. I just hope that, if even for a few minutes, you can hear me out.

I think that attraction that is not physical can end up being physical eventually, when you really grow to care about someone. Listen, I’m not going to kid and say personal grooming and cleanliness aren’t important, they obviously are. But at the end of the day, you need to be with someone who wants you for who you are, and respects how you want to present yourself. Not someone who wants you to look like they want you to.

How you choose to present yourself does say something about you, we can’t pretend it doesn’t. But one of the most powerful things it can say is that you care enough to take care of yourself, but you still know that it’s not the only thing great about you.

It always gets to me when I hear guys admit that they’re ashamed or concerned about their appearance. I guess it’s because I’m so used to hearing girls lament the subject, hearing that guys do as well is both refreshing (whoa, we’re all human? We all feel this way?!) guys you don’t need to be chiseled to be loved or admire. You only need to be confidence in your looks and skin. But equally disturbing because it’s so unfortunate that anyone has to think like that. Guys/Ladies are looking for real, loving, genuine, kick-ass people who lift others up and make them happy. If you are interested in girls (or guys) who are made happy by how in shape you are, it may be time to look elsewhere. (Fact)

The point is, even if you’ll never be able to be completely satisfied with how you look, you don’t have to be to still be a perfectly worthy and beautiful person. Love yourself for everything inside you, and you’ll be able to find someone else who does as well.

Most credit goes to Brianna Weist. My professional and senior colleague.

Image credit Adobe stock

Guest Post: This Is For Anyone Who Feels Like They’re Never Going To Find Their Own Path In Life

If you are someone who is afraid that you’ll never find your path in life, that you’ll never hit your stride, that you’ll never discover what you love, or find a place that feels like home, or a person with whom you want to plant roots — please know that you are not alone.

The things about life is that it doesn’t happen until it happens. We don’t know what we don’t know until we do.

It is so challenging to exist in a space where you are a stranger to yourself, because it makes you feel like the road will never rise up to meet you. It makes you feel like there is no perfect career, there is no perfect partner, there is no perfect city to call your own.

The truth is that what you’re looking for isn’t outside of you, but buried deep within.

You already know your path.

It’s embedded into your cells.

It reveals itself every time you get a twinge in your heart, a feeling of resonance, an interest, a passion, an explosion of emotion.

It is present in every room you are in.

It is with you all of the time.

There is no path to find, because you are your own path. If where you are right now is confusion and uncertainty, then what you need to feel and metabolize is confusion and uncertainty. Through allowing yourself to sit with these feelings, you will emerge on the other side with clarity.

Too many people spend too many years seeking outside of themselves, instead of looking within.

They imagine that the perfect job will give them the right identity, that the ideal partner will hand them the life they always wanted. They assume that home is a place they discover, when really, it is a space they create.

You are at home within your bones, and eventually, you’ll begin to accept that you are where you’re supposed to be.

There are more potential partners out in the world than you could ever imagine, and when the time is right, you’ll find the one that’s right for you.

Your life purpose is not just one thing, it’s a collection of things, some you act on every day, some that won’t come to fruition for many years. When you’re ready, you’ll arrive at the intersection of your interests and talents and you will find the gift you were always meant to give the world.

You can’t rush this.

You aren’t supposed to have every answer on demand.

It’s not that you have to search your soul to know what’s right, but that you are developing your persona to fully inhabit and embrace all that your soul wants to create and experience.

You are already on the right path, because there is nowhere else you could possibly be.

Whatever you are learning in this season is what you need to learn. Whatever you are feeling is what you need to feel. Whatever you are realizing is what you need to realize.

Your life does not begin one day when you figure out every answer, it is a constant unfolding.

One day, you just wake up and realize it.

Originally written by Brianna Weist

Daily Digest: The Strength To Deal And Be Comfortable With Change

Many people don’t like change. It’s a fact! Former US President Woodrow Wilson said, “If you want to make enemies, try to change something”.

If you change nothing - napkin concept

Often when we grow weary or simply become bored with a situation, we get restless and begin to pray: “Oh God! Something has to change in my life!” Then when God tries to bring change into our lives, we say, “Lord, what are you doing? I don’t think i can take this change!” We often find ourselves caught in the tension between wanting change and scared to change.

Good examples of this is change of job, moving from one house to another, change of your children school, and so on. Recently, I was praying for a second job to be able to meet up with the bills. I prayed to God for one and also did my part applying. I got a support job, which isn’t bad at all. But the fear came when i tried to fit in the hours I will be working and how to manage both together without missing a shift. Instead of complaining of the difficulties, I prayed for clarity and guidiance throughout my shift for the week. Also, when me and my family relocated to the United Kingdom, we were scared of starting over. We are eight months now in the country, thanks to God for His guidiance and grace.

Thank God. He never changes. Because He is always the same, we can trust Him through any changing circumstances or situation.  (read Hebrews 13:8, Malachi 3:6). This should give us great courage and comfort when we face changes in our lves. We do not need to fear change; we can handle it, because God remains the same.

Prayer: Father, I am so thankful that I don’t have to fear change. You never change and You are my strong tower. I stand on the firm foundation of Your word, and i will live in peace, even when things are changing all around me.

1 New York Times Bestselling Author Joyce Meyer Books | FaithWords

This piece credit goes to Joyce Meyer. Highlighting how we can deal with change through prayer. I was fascinated by the piece, which made me write a few personal experience to it.

Please share and comment.

The Tiny Little Secret That Gives You Permission To Enjoy Anything

Boy I love a cheesy title every once in a while. Like the one above. Yes, I know it’s cheesy, but you know what? I decided to like it. Even more, I decided to enjoy it.

And with that, the secret – because there is a secret, the title didn’t lie – is already suggested.

Ok, let’s not waste more time on this: the secret is decision. The conscious decision to enjoy stuff. Time spent enjoying is time well spent. You can’t be really miserable if you consciously enjoy something. So, if you really want to enjoy anything, all you have to do is to decide you’re gonna do that. That’s all. That’s the secret.

I’m not saying to be delusional, to fake enjoyment when you’re hurt. Hurt happens. And it’s real. Pain is real. I’m not saying to deny it. But try to enjoy the fact that you can still feel pain. The fact that you’re still alive. After a while the pain will go away. It’s bound to be like this, everything changes. The pain, the pleasure, the sadness, the joy, all of them are going to fade away. That’s our condition on this earth.

We can’t control that. We can’t stop time in its track. We can’t freeze this second and relive it again and again and again. Time will catch us from behind and crash us, moving forward.

The only thing we can control is how we react to this change. That’s the secret, the reaction, the conscious decision we take while witnessing the change. Circumstances are blending around us and sometimes they’re perceived as good, sometimes as bad. But beyond good and bad there’s this basic pleasure, this unexplainable feeling of fulfillment that you’re still here, in the stream, existing.

How Do You Stay In a Positive Mindset and Why Is It Important?

Hi guys and happy new week.

True, it seems like the world is not a nice place to live in for you. It has so many defects, problems and it’s not at all perfect. But this is what you have got and you have a free will to make changes and modify it in the best version of itself. So, the first step to change anything is to have a positive belief that you can change it. Also, things don’t change quickly, you need to stay positive throughout. So, How do you stay in a positive mindset and why it is important?

First thing first, let’s know what before the how.

What does positive thinking mean?

Positive thinking is just a way of processing thoughts in your mind that benefits you and has a positive impact on your life.

In particular, You can think of positive thinking as being a way of thinking that:

  • Helps you achieve something you always desired.
  • Helps you feel better and rise above sadness.
  • Is useful to your daily household & a professional job and ultimately leads to improving your life.

With such beneficial qualities, a positive mindset helps you and serves a practical, useful purpose in your day to day life.
This is what makes it different from the useless negative thoughts and thinking that don’t help you at all.

What is the importance of positivity in life?

Positive thinking is basically the practice of focusing on the good in any given situation. But it doesn’t mean you ignore reality or make light of problems. It simply means to have an optimistic attitude and approach the good and bad in life with the expectation that things will be alright. It can have a huge impact on your physical and mental health.

We have learned about positivity and now we move to why is it important to have a positive mindset?

There are certainly many benefits to adopting a positive mindset. Here are 11 benefits of Positive Thinking for students, employees, old and young people, veteran or naive, literally everyone who thinks and thinks a lot. Positive Mindset provides you:

  1. A more worthwhile life: the more you add positive value to your life and positive thinking, the more worthwhile life is for you. just by good thinking, you improve your chances of being happy to a massive percentage.
  2. Greater confidence: Henry ford – “If you think you can, or you think you can’t either way, you’re right.” the more you believe you can achieve things, the more self-confidence you have.
  3. Higher self-esteem: As you start respecting yourself and the value you see in yourself, the higher your sense of self-worth gets.
  4. More happiness and enjoyment: the more positiveness you see in your life, the happier you become, and the more you enjoy life.
  5. Feeling stronger: as your confidence and self-esteem increase due to positive thinking, you also feel stronger and more powerful.
  6. More energy: positive mindset often motivates and energizes you to achieve things.
  7. More peace of mind: the earlier you start liking your own company, the more your mind will be at peace. And a peaceful mind provides you the better solutions and better actions.
  8. More success: having more energy, more self-esteem, and more self-confidence leads to more success.
  9. Enjoyable interactions with others: Everyone likes a smiling face and everyone wants a healthy and positive group. So, your jolly behavior is going to attract a happier friend circle.
  10. Better sleep & health: more peaceful emotions mean less stressful, negative feelings that will definitely be going to affect your physical self. Ultimately, you enjoy the health benefits of positive thinking, including a better quality of sleep.
  11. Greater clarity of mind: Since you’ve got a choice, missing it in vain is not a good idea. Instead, think in the direction which benefits you instead of the negative ways in which hurt you.

There are numerous benefits of positive thinking. It helps you achieve your goals irrespective of how difficult it is. Whenever an odd situation comes into your life and your mind becomes stressed, with the help of positive thinking you can overcome the stress and become motivated to move on. You become a more charming person and it enhances your relationship with people. The easiest positive thinking trick is just focusing on finding the outcome & solution instead of being stuck in negative thoughts and focusing on how it can go wrong and why it ever happened.

How do you stay in a positive mindset?

Positive thinking is often achieved through a couple of different techniques that are proven effective, like positive self-talk and positive imagery. Here are some tips to get you started that can help you train your brain to keep a positive mindset.

  • Focus on the good things

Challenging situations and obstacles are a part of life. When you’re faced with one, focus on the good things no matter how small or seemingly insignificant they seem. If you look for it, you can always find the proverbial silver lining in every cloud — even if it’s not immediately obvious. For example, if someone cancels plans, focus on how it frees up time for you to catch up on a TV show or other activity you enjoy.

  • Practice gratitude

Practicing gratitude has been shown to reduce stress, improve self-esteem, and foster resilience even in very difficult times. So, every now and then Think of people, moments, or things that bring you some quiet comfort & happiness and thank them for a minimum of once each day. This can be thanking a co-worker for helping with a project, a loved one for washing the dishes, or your dog for the unconditional love they give you.

  • Keep a gratitude journal

I remember a saying – “To get more, firstly, thank for what you have“. It is always the easiest way to get what you want. Start by writing down the things you’re grateful for and it will improve your optimism and sense of well-being. You can do this by writing in a gratitude journal every day, or jotting down a list of things you’re grateful for. In hard times, just read the list. It could be anything, from the smallest things to the biggest things and that will change your thoughts.

  • Open yourself up to humor

Remember the quote “laughter is the best medicine“. Well, it actually is.

Studies have found that laughter lowers stress, anxiety, and depression. It also improves coping skills, mood, and self-esteem. Be open to humor in all situations, especially the difficult ones, and give yourself permission to laugh. It instantly lightens the mood and makes things seem a little less difficult. Even if you’re not feeling it; pretending or forcing yourself to laugh can improve your mood and lower stress.

  • Spend time with positive people

Negativity and positivity have been shown to be contagious. Consider the people with whom you’re spending time. Have you noticed how someone during a bad mood can bring down almost everyone during a room? A positive person has the other effect on others.

Being around positive people has been shown to enhance self-esteem and increase your chances of reaching goals. Surround yourself with people who will lift you up and help you see the bright side. Such people not only help you lift your mood but also make you feel better about yourself. They help you feel more confident.

  • Practice positive self-talk

We tend to be the hardest on ourselves and be our own worst critic. Over time, this can cause you to form a negative opinion of yourself that can be hard to shake. To stop this, you’ll need to be mindful of the voice in your head and respond with positive messages, also known as “Positive self-talk”.

Research shows that even a small shift in the way you talk to yourself can influence your ability to regulate your feelings, thoughts, and behavior under stress. Here’s an example of positive self-talk: Instead of thinking “I really messed that up,” try “Let’s try it another way.”

You should treat yourself the way you’d treat your best friend. You wouldn’t want them to doubt themselves & feel demotivated. You should hype yourself, motivate yourself, you should tell yourself that no matter how hard something is, you can do it. If you fail at something, you shouldn’t just give up. You should try it again.

  • Identify your areas of negativity

Take a good look at the different areas of your life and identify the ones in which you tend to be the most negative. Not sure? Ask a trusted friend or colleague. Chances are, they’ll be able to offer some insight. A co-employee might tell you that you tend to be negative at work. Your spouse may notice that you get especially negative while driving. Tackle one area at a time.

  • Start every day on a positive note

Create a ritual during which you begin off every day with something uplifting and positive. Here are a couple of ideas:

  • Tell yourself that it’s going to be a great day or any other positive affirmation.
  • Listen to a happy and positive song or playlist.
  • Share some positivity by giving a compliment or doing something nice for someone.