Don’t Feel Guilty For Doing What’s Best For Yourself

This is a guest post.

Don’t feel guilty for cutting toxic people out of your life. Even if you love them, even if you had wonderful times with them in the past, you have to do what’s right for yourself today. Remember, even though you might be the person ending the relationship, you’re not the reason this has to happen. They brought it onto themselves. It’s their fault. Not yours. You have to do what is best for yourself. You have to put yourself first, even when it hurts.

Don’t feel guilty for putting yourself first, especially when it comes to your mental health. You’re allowed to be selfish. You’re allowed to make decisions that benefit you, even if they upset the people around you. It doesn’t matter if anyone else understands or respects your decision. All that matters is that you care about yourself enough to do what is best for yourself. You should never sacrifice your mental health for anyone else. After all, if they really cared about you, they would encourage you to do whatever you need to do.

Don’t feel guilty for disappointing other people, even the people you love. You can’t make career choices, relationship choices, or any general life choices based on what your parent or partner wants from you. You need to do what brings you the most happiness. There’s no reason to make them happy if it means making yourself miserable. When it comes to your life, your emotions and your opinions are the most important.

Don’t feel guilty for causing conflict. If someone upsets you, you don’t have to pretend everything is fine to keep the peace. You don’t have to act polite when someone is completely disrespecting you. You’re allowed to speak your mind and say what’s wrong. You’re allowed to call people out when they cross an unforgivable line. You shouldn’t feel pressured to stay quiet when you’re suffering on the inside.

Don’t feel guilty about saying no when your plate is full. Even though you have a kind heart, you can’t help everyone who asks for a hand. You don’t want to burn yourself out to please someone else. Sometimes, you need to let others down. Sometimes, you need to do what makes the most sense for you instead of running around, trying to entertain everyone else.

Remember, you’re allowed to be selfish, but this doesn’t mean you need to walk around, only caring about yourself. This doesn’t mean you should say and do whatever you want without any regard for the people around you. This doesn’t mean you’re allowed to disrespect your family and friends. It only means that you shouldn’t let people walk over you. You shouldn’t let others make your decisions for you. You shouldn’t assume family members and friends know you better than you know yourself.

Don’t feel guilty for doing what’s best for yourself. Don’t hesitate to do what makes you the happiest because, at the end of the day, you’re the only person you can rely on.

Guest: Holly Riordan

Image source: Adobe stock

Trust Me When I Say God Always Has A Plan

This is a guest repost.

Trust me when I say God knows what he’s doing. Even if you’re confused and you don’t know how you’re going to move forward or where you’re going to go, he will always open a new door for you. An unexpected door. A door that could lead you to a kind of happiness you never imagined. A door that puts an end to the hard days.

Trust me when I say God doesn’t take things away without giving you something better. God knows when something has served its purpose even if you can’t see it. God knows when things should end even if you’re not ready. God is planning what’s next for you because he knows that you need a change. He knows that he’s taking you to a better destination or guiding you to a more fulfilling life.

Trust me when I say God hears your prayers. He’s listening to you and he’s giving you exactly what you want but in his own way. Maybe his way is different from yours but his way is always the right way. When you ask for happiness and you find yourself drifting away from the people you love, he’s telling you that these are not the people to surround yourself with because they drain you. When you ask for peace and you lose your job, he’s telling you that your future is better somewhere else. When you ask for love and he gives you heartbreak, he’s telling you that you need to make a better choice. He’s telling you you’re loving the wrong people. He’s always answering your questions, you just need to trust his answers.

Trust me when I say God is looking out for you. It may not be easy to see at times and it might be impossible to understand why things happen the way they do but one thing I know for sure is that God won’t leave you alone in the dark. He will guide you. He will inspire you. He will rearrange things in your life so you can change your life. 

Trust me when I say God wants you to count on him. He wants you to learn that people are unpredictable and they change their minds every second. He wants you to know that nothing in life is secure or complete. He wants you to know that there will be times when you’ll just have to count on your faith instead of your logic. He wants you to go through enough problems so you can have enough wisdom to know that he’s the only constant in this life and he’s the only one who can truly heal you.

Trust me when I say God always has a plan for you and that plan always includes what’s best for you.

Credit: Rania Naim

Image credit: Adobe Stock

Reminder: A Healthy Mindset Is Not Believing That Everything Is Perfect

What is a healthy mindset?

A healthy mindset is being okay with trying, even if you aren’t the best. It is accepting that you don’t have to like everyone you meet and that they don’t have to take up any space in your mind or life if you don’t want them to. It means honoring when you aren’t feeling productive, and giving yourself the rest you need. It means pushing yourself when you know that you can stand to go a little farther. It means getting very good at discerning the difference.

The mistake most people are aiming for isn’t a healthy mindset, it’s the kind of perfectionistic nonsense that’s breaking them in the first place.

It does not mean that you do everything correctly on the first try. It does not mean you are able to intuit exactly what’s “right” for you without trying and failing sometimes. It does not mean that you will be seamlessly, unendingly productive, or that you’ll immediately like everyone you meet, and never have an ounce of self-doubt again.

A healthy mindset is not believing that everything is perfect, it is knowing that you will be okay even if it isn’t.

Most people live their lives thinking that just because they aren’t doing everything perfectly, that there’s something wrong with them. That they just need to be unblocked, healed, purged and awakened into some greater understanding that will make them the super beings they think they want to be.

That is not what healing is. That is not what awakening is.

Developing a healthy mindset is no longer avoiding, denying or rejecting discomfort, and it is knowing when discomfort is worth it. It is understanding that life is not perfect and never will be, and it is the willingness to live anyway. It is the knowledge that people are not always trustworthy, and it is the willingness to try anyway. It is realizing that you might not always get things right the first time, and it is the willingness to do them anyway. It is the acceptance that you are not a perfect being, and it is the recognition that you never needed to be anyway.

A healthy mindset means knowing that you have the power to build the life you want, and it is the wisdom to know when you’re wasting that energy on the things you don’t. It is not believing you are the best person in the room, it is being okay even though you aren’t. It is not competing with people until you arise victoriously and on top, it is remembering that everyone has their own path, and you cannot beat someone on their journey of self-development.

Be active. At the same time, focus on yourself.

The First Step To Self-Care Is Actually Giving A Shit About Yourself

Hey guys!I was amazed when I set my eyes on this write up. I have no other choice but to share it with you. It is a guest post from one of my role model and beautiful writer Holly Riordan 🙌🔥Please be patient when reading.

The first step to self-care is deciding you matter. You deserve to feel confident. You deserve to feel loved. You deserve to feel whole.

You have to stop telling yourself that it doesn’t matter what you do with your time because no one cares anyway. At the very least, you have to care. After all, you’re the only one who matters.

If other people aren’t paying attention to you, aren’t supporting you, aren’t loving you, that’s outside of your control. The only thing you can control is our own actions, your own thoughts, your own choices.

The first step to self-care is actually giving a shit. It’s deciding that you care about where your career is headed. You care about whether your friendships are stable. You care about what happens to your heart. You care about whether you get enough exercise that day, whether you eat enough that day, whether you take care of your hygiene that day. You care about yourself.

If you don’t care about yourself, if you continue to believe that you are worthless and aren’t going to make it so there’s no point in even trying, then you’re going to get caught in a self-destructive cycle. You’re never going to take a chance on yourself. You’re going to keep coming up with excuses to stay hidden inside your comfort zone. You’re never going to change.

It’s a pretty simple concept. If you don’t care about yourself, you’re not going to take good care of yourself. You’re going to stop trying. You’re going to let yourself waste away. And you cannot let that happen. You cannot forget your worth. You cannot treat yourself so unkindly.

Maybe you’re unable to love yourself right now because you’re distracted by your flaws. Or maybe you made a mistake you consider unforgivable and can’t stop thinking about the past. Or maybe you’re just in a toxic mindset right now.

If learning to love yourself sounds like too big of a leap from where you are right now, you can start by learning to give a shit about yourself.

You don’t have to love your body yet, but you should give a shit about keeping it clean and healthy. You don’t have to love your job yet, but you should give a shit about whether you’re doing the right thing at work. You don’t have to love your life yet, but you should give a shit about continuing it, strengthening it, bettering it.

It’s not going to be easy to change the way you think. It’s not going to be easy to suddenly start giving a shit about yourself after years of not caring at all — but it might be a little bit easier than suddenly loving yourself unconditionally.

Give a shit about whether you make healthy decisions that day.

Give a shit about whether you compliment yourself that day.

This is a guest post.

Despite What You’ve Been Telling Yourself, You Are Valuable

Thank God it’s friday!

Today I have a guest post from Holly Riodan.

It’s dangerous to assume your worth is tied to any one thing, whether that’s your career or your relationship or your friendships. If you get your validation from a single outside source, then your sense of worth is going to rise and drop on a daily basis. Your confidence is going to change based on how well that single area of your life is currently going.

You can’t allow your relationship status to determine your worth. It doesn’t matter whether you’re currently getting over a breakup. It doesn’t matter whether your heart is having trouble healing. It doesn’t matter whether you’re spending your nights in bed alone. It doesn’t matter whether you’re the last one of your friends who is still single. It doesn’t matter whether you thought you would be married with children by now. You value doesn’t change based on whether or not you’re in a relationship.

You can’t allow your social media stats to determine your worth. It doesn’t matter how many comments you get on a selfie. It doesn’t matter how many followers you have. It doesn’t matter how many people have been sliding into your DMs. It doesn’t matter whether anyone has checked your story in the last hour. Your value doesn’t changed based on your popularity on social media.

You can’t allow your career to determine your worth. It doesn’t matter how much money you’re making. It doesn’t matter whether you’re taking longer to achieve your goals than you feel like you should. It doesn’t matter whether your friends seem further ahead than you right now. It doesn’t matter whether you feel like you’re slowly falling behind. You value doesn’t change based on the amount of money in your bank account.

You can’t allow your friendships to determine your worth. It doesn’t matter whether there are certain nights you consider yourself lonely. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve lost touched with some people you used to consider close. It doesn’t matter whether you have trouble finding people to hang out with on weekends. It doesn’t matter whether you’re struggling to make new friends now that you’re older and in a different place in your life. Your value doesn’t changed based on the amount of people who like you.

If you’re unhappy with a certain area of your life, then by all means, you should try to fix it. You should take action. You should make a change. But you should never let your unhappiness convince you that you’re not valuable as a human being.
You can’t allow a single aspect of your life to determine your worth. You have to determine your own worth. You have to look in the mirror and say to yourself: “It doesn’t matter how much money I’m earning. It doesn’t matter what my relationship status is. It doesn’t matter how many friends text me on the weekends. It doesn’t matter how many likes I get on my latest post. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of me — because I know what I think of me and I am valuable. I am worthwhile. I am loved.”