10 Quick Tips to Make Someone Happy Today

Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.” #quote
Eleanor Roosevelt

One of the best ways to create a happier life for yourself is to make other people happier.

Why?

  • You see it. You’ll feel happier as someone’s face lights up with joy.
  • You did a good thing. You’ll feel happier because you feel you have done a good thing. And so your self-esteem shoots up too.
  • You get what you give. In the long run you tend to be treated by others as you treat them. Plus, the way you treat and think about others also tends to be the way you treat and think about yourself.

So how can you make someone happy today?

Here are 10 quite tips you can start doing today. Pick one and see how it can affect someone in your life.

1. Give a sincere compliment. Many positive things tend to go unsaid. So give someone a sincere compliment today. It can mean especially much if it’s for something that is close to the other person’s heart. Or something he or she has been putting in a good effort with like getting into better shape for the last few months.

2. Hold the door open for a few extra seconds. It doesn’t take much of an effort but it can put a smile on someone’s face.

3. Express your gratitude for what is too often taken for granted. We may sometimes take what others do a bit too much for granted. Like the food they cook, how they keep doing their job consistently each and every day or how to they are there to listen when we need it.

4. Encourage. The world can be a tough and discouraging place at times. So encourage someone who is in a negative situation at the moment. Add your own perhaps more grounded and optimistic perspective on the situation to lessen his or her worries and perhaps exaggerated fears.

5. Tell a good – or terrible – joke. Or a funny story about something that happened to you last week.

6. Share something funny you found online. Play one of your favorite clips from a stand-up show you love if you are out of jokes and good stories at the moment.

7. Share a Spotify-playlist with the most inspiring and uplifting songs you know. Send it to a friend that needs it right now. Or share it with family, friends or co-workers on social media.

8. Give a stranger a compliment. Few things can brighten a day like getting a kind and unexpected compliment from someone you pass by or you have just met. So take a few seconds and give that to someone you encounter today and tell her how nice her shoes, hat or hairstyle looks. Or ask him where he where he got that cool t-shirt or umbrella.

9. Help out practically with advice. If a friend needs some help then ask someone you know who has been in that situation for advice. Or do a bit of online research to find what he she might be looking for.

10. Give a hug. It unstresses and it can disrupt negative thoughts and change someone’s mood surprisingly quickly. Use when appropriate though.

11. Smile. Even if you’re only spending 30 seconds on talking to the cashier in the supermarket checkout line.

12. Just listen. It’s sometimes all that’s needed to help someone out of a negative headspace.

13. Bring the positivity. If you bring positivity and an open, happy and good energy into a conversation for example then that tends to spread and the two of you or more will have happier lunch break, evening down at the pub or coffee date in the crisp autumn sunshine.

14. Share some of your tasty homemade cookies. Or bread, ice cream or jerky.

15. Let someone into your lane while you’re driving. It can unstress his or her day quite a bit.

Share to someone who needs this..

Make Lemonade

Hey guys!

Most of us are familiar with this quote: If life hands you a lemon – make lemonade.

It is inevitable that not everything you do, all the time, will go according to plan or make you happy. In other words, try to turn your setbacks into a positive, and never simply accept that something g went wrong making you uncomfortable/unhappy, and that there is nothing that can be done about it.

Take for instance, you try starting your car but it didn’t respond. Everyone knows how frustrating that is, especially when you have an important meeting or engagement. Well the fact is that you have to accept the frustration, but at the same time recognize that you have been presented with some unexpected opportunities to make yourself happier. You can now take a walk and enjoy the fresh air and use that as an exercise, instead of sitting in traffic, or been stopped by VIO or road safety in the case of my country Nigeria.

Setbacks can free you to do something you will enjoy. Never allow setbacks to push you back always, find a way to turn it to your advantage.

How do you react in times of setbacks, troubles, or challenges?

The Happiness You Seek May Not Present Itself The Way You Had Anticipated

Who can relate?

Since happiness can come in many forms, such as joy, fulfillment, contentment, euphoria, etc. It can sometimes be difficult to see when you have accomplished your goal of being happy.

If this sounds strange, then look at it this way.

If you had imagined that to be really happy you would need to be retired, with an excellent pension, so that you have both the time and money to do things you enjoy, then it can come as a surprise to find that if you simply reorganise your working week, go part-time and prioritize your hobbies, you are already nearly there!

The reason for this is that you had anticipated needing time and wealth in order to be happy, when what you actually needed was time and the ability to reallocate your resources. Furthermore, you may have expected that you would need to retire in order to free up your time when in fact cutting down on your working hours, or working from home part of the week can also accomplish the same thing.

Necessarily, if you are willing to encompass happiness in whatever form it may present itself, and even to enjoy it in different forms according to the occasion., then you are likely to lie low in far more places than you imagined, just waiting to be unearthed and enjoyed. Don’t forget that the journey can provide happiness along the way too, so try to get into the habit of enjoying what you have, at each point along the way.

NB: Happiness can both be subjective and elusive, but it can also be found in the most unlikely places, and on a daily basis.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Today’s Nugget: Get Real

Hey guys!

Everything I post on this platform is a true life experience and story I share. Even in the midst of the storm, I still try to keep myself positive and also share with others how we can all overcome anger, disappointment, and challenges.

Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life.

We must accept that you might fail when you try your best and still don’t win, at least you can be satisfied that you’ve tried. If you don’t accept failure as a possibility, you don’t set high goals, you don’t branch out, you don’t try- you don’t take the risk.

Be realistic about what you can do and what you can’t do. So whatever you do must really worth it.

Credit to: Queen Latifah, Rosalynn Carter, and Marilu Henner.

Why We Love To Choose To Be Thankful In The Challenges—That’s Where You Grow And You Should, Too!

I remembered when I was young, my aunty and teacher in school asked us a question on what we wanted to be when we grew up. At the time, I was bursting with dreams—a pilot, a soldier, a police officer, an Aeronotic Engineer and so on. Of all the items on the list, though, there was one theme. When I grew up, most of all, I wanted to be happy.

And so I put it on the back of mind to work towards what I want to become. The options waa many, but in all what makes me happy matters — a promise to my future self. That scribbled word was a goal, a mindset I would work towards, regardless of the obstacles along the way.

Years later, and more or less ‘grown up,’ I think about what I said I will become often. I think about how it has followed me through the turbulence of my teenage years, the chaos of the university, and into adulthood, where honestly, being happy seems like the most important conscious choice I can make.

Being happy, I’ve realized is not something you can pinpoint, grab between your fingertips, or keep. It’s more abstract than we give it credit for. We search as if we’re able to discover it, obtain it, hold it in our palms—but sometimes it’s so beautifully transient.

And sometimes happiness is not really a ‘thing’ at all, but a decision. Deciding to live with a spirit of gratitude. Choosing to be thankful, to see the bright side, to love and smile and have hope, regardless of what’s in the way. Accepting that you cannot change everything, but you can adapt your attitude. And letting yourself heal.

Happiness comes from finding peace with where you are. Not because it’s exactly where you wanted to be. Not because you have everything you could ever need. Not because you are wealthy, or in love, or doing better than the person next to you.

Happiness comes for no reason at all, other than because you decide you want it there.

You decide to create it, to make it, to build it out of the circumstances around you. You decide to open the door to it, to let it in, and then to foster its growth in your life, no matter what good or bad moments you face.

You decide that you want to live positively—bringing in good energy and people and moments and exhaling all that is out of your control. You decide that when terrible things happen to you, when you’re broken, when you lose people you love, when you’re left, when you’re exhausted or defeated or angry, that instead of letting the circumstances of this life control you, you want to react with a smile on your face. You choose to say, ‘I can’t change what has happened, but I can change my reaction, my next breath, next step, and where I go next.’

And you walk forward, focusing not on what you’ve lost or has been taken from you, but the knowledge you’ve gained, the love you’ve created, the strength you’ve found, the hope you’ve given yourself, and the wealth of things, people, memories, and moments you have to be thankful for.

So choose to be thankful in the challenges. Choose to see the bright side, the healing, the places you will go and people you will meet next.

Choose to let go of what you cannot fix or control, what you are not in charge of, what is out of your reach. Choose to accept the circumstances of this life, even when they’re imperfect or awful, and instead of wrapping yourself up in negativity, exhale and release.

Release what is not meant for you. Release what has abandoned you. Release what has attempted to destroy you, hold you captive, bring you down. Release the pain you’ve been holding in your chest. Release the anxiety, the anger, the fear.

Release and make a conscious choice—today and every day—to seek happiness and live with a grateful heart. Because there you will heal, you will begin again, you will grow.

It won’t be nice if I take all the credit for this piece. Thanks to the brilliant Marisa.

Share and comment.

Who Are You, and Who Do You Want to be?

Hi guys!

Typically, when you look for role models, you want someone who has your interests and came from the same background. Well, look how restricting that is. What people should do is take role models à la carte. If there’s someone whose character you appreciated, you respect that trait – Neil deGrasse Tyson

Know Yourself

The inspiration provided by role models can be useful short cut to a quick fix of feeling good. But in order for this to work, you first need to know yourself. At first glance this may sound obvious – indeed, you might well assume that you already know yourself rather well! The truth, however is that usually we don’t know ourselves as well as we think we do. This can be for some reasons listed below.

  • A lack of self awareness
  • Not wanting to look at ourselves too closely, either consciously or subconsciously
  • Assuming that we already know ourselves and therefore don’t need to look
  • Not wanting to face weaknesses

It is only by knowing yourself on every level and in every way that you can fully benefit from the example set by role models.

Inspiring Role Models

Once you have identified your strengths and weaknesses, your character traits, how you think and how you behave, so on… you will have a good understanding of the gaps you need to be able to fill in order to make the best of every situation. You are now in the best position to choose a role model/models, by identifying people who are strong in the areas in which you are weak.

You need to select role models who will inspire you When faced with a difficult problem, by being able to think through what they might do, and how they might overcome the challenges with which you are faced.

Who Do You Want To Be?

Following your role models can be a fun way to share in their successes, but in order to enjoy such achievements yourself, you will need to decide not only what you want to do with your life, but who you want to be. Trying thinking of yourself as the blank canvas actors assume before creating a character. You could be anything, do anything and achieve anything you want to. So what is it that you really want to do? Who would you want to be this time next year, in five or ten years time? Think of your role models in terms of life and career, but more successful.

A persistent and lasting happiness is difficult to achieve if you are not happy with who you are, but by improving yourself a little everyday you will ensure that you move consistently closer to becoming a ‘you’ who you want to be, and to achieving the happiness you desire.

Be Grateful For Setbacks

Setbacks, while never enjoyable experiences in their own right, can nevertheless offer some important opportunities, and if appropriately managed can lead to improved happiness. They can, for instance, provide opportunities to revise your plans for happiness and fulfillment in your life, to take stock and to see if you are heading in the right direction, or whether things need to change; and if they do, a setback might provide the impetus to making things happen.

At the very least, a setback should create a hiatus sufficient to get things underway. If you’re having problems in any area of your life, a setback can be seen as an opportunity to take a new and inspiring approach to finding a solution and, used correctly, it can create new routes to happiness. Setbavks can also offer new ways to grow, providing the opportunity to try new things, creating the space for new exploration and discovery, as well as building character. It is also in such times that you will find out who your real friends are. This can be harsh to discover, but it does atleast give you the opportunity to rid yourself of anyone who is not a positive influence in your life, and to create new relationships and friends with people who are. Whatever the setback, a positive attitude and a robust response will give you an opportunity to come back even stronger than before, and to prove to yourself that you can do so.

NB: Nobody prays for a setback in life, life just take its course.

Inspired by Matt Avery.

A Reminder: Don’t Be a Slave to your Dreams

Sometimes you are obsessed with what you think your life would be like if you had all the things you wished you had. Instead of enjoying your life as it is, even if it is not comfortable. But surely things will change because the situation is not permanent.

NB: Even though you do not know if achieving them would in fact make you any happier than you are now. Rather than living in the present, and enjoying it to the full, you are using your vision of how much better you think your life would be, as a form of defence, so that you don’t have to face the reality of life.

I am guilty of this most times and sure you can relate also.

You are keeping the real world at a distance, by pretending that is only temporary for you, that at any time your life will change and your prayers will be answered. But if you stop chasing your impossible dreams, and focus on your life as it really is, you will find that you already have everything you need to be completely happy.

In essence, stop chasing your tail.

Thankfulness Is The Beginning Of Happiness: Why Are People So Unhappy?

We’re all searching for happiness in life. But many of us look in the wrong places. Start with thankfulness. Thankfulness is the beginning of happiness!As a human race, people are more unhappy than ever before. I’ve discovered that there are three main reasons for this decline in our overall happiness. The three main reasons for our unhappiness are comparison, comfort, and entitlement. I’ll explain each in detail below.

#1. Comparison

Thanks to big media, TV, movies, and even social media platforms, we’re always comparing ourselves to someone else. Comparison will steal your happiness quicker than anything else. The key to overcoming the comparison game is to take these things for what they are. Remember, online, and on TV, you’re seeing someone’s best. Both their successes and their failures, you see it polished and made interesting for you. At the end of the day, each of us are human, and what you see on a screen is not reality. Stop comparing yourself!

#2. Comfort

This is the silent killer. Do you want to die faster? Live a comfortable life. I could really go on a rant about comfort, but I’ll save it for a content later. Here’s the summary, comfort is an illusion. The more comfortable you are consistently, the less happy you’ll be. The more uncomfortable you are, the more you push yourself and don’t allow yourself to relax, the happier you will be. (In moderation, of course) If you want to be happier in life, get off the couch, do something crazy that makes you really uncomfortable, stretch yourself!

#3. Entitlement

I’ve heard many people say that because Buhari is the president, they’ve felt more unhappy. GROW UP. Since when is it someone else’s responsibility to make you happy? News flash, life isn’t about you, and it never will be. Yes, I know, I’m being harsher than I usually am here. But many people need to hear this. Life isn’t about you, stop acting like it is. Take responsibility for your life and circumstances. Make the best of every season that you’re in. If there’s something you don’t like happening around you, fill the gap, be the solution instead of the complaining voice. (Remember, I love you all! I’ll stop being harsh now.)

One more thing, happiness is not circumstantial.

Happiness doesn’t come from having a great job or owning a successful business, and it doesn’t come from being debt-free or extremely wealthy. It doesn’t come from being in a stable relationship or having a lot of friends. Everything I just mentioned makes you FEEL happy, but it’s all a by product. Happiness is a mindset, not a set of circumstances.

Obviously, there are more reasons why people are so unhappy than I mentioned above. I have found these three reasons to be the root of the happiness crisis that we’re facing. If you can overcome these three things, you’ll begin being happier. But let’s not stop there! Let’s dive into ways to proactively increase your happiness.

How can I be happier?

If you want to be happier in life, you must understand that happiness is a mindset. It’s not your circumstances. And you don’t obtain happiness by avoiding the three main reasons that people are so unhappy that I mentioned above. The key to beginning to live a happier life is to get into a mindset of happiness. The best way to start shifting your mindset is by being thankful. Thankfulness is the beginning of happiness. This isn’t always easy, but if you can remember it in your daily life, you can start becoming a happier person.

In conclusion, remember to avoid comparison, comfort, and entitlement because circumstances do not lead to happiness. Instead, remember that thankfulness is the beginning of happiness. You can become happier by expressing gratitude, making life about more than yourself, and lastly, and ultimately, that each of us is free in Christ!PS: Am also working on myself on this matter. I post this to also find happiness in what I do, forgetting whatever challenges am having at the moment. We shall overcome by the Grace of God.

How Do You Lead A Simple Life?

We live in such simple times, yet finding happiness is much more complicated.

How can this be, when looking at our everyday lives, we have literally the entire world at our fingertips. We can search how many centimeters are in a mile, how to spell correctly, how to cook; heck there’s even a WikiHow tutorial on how to kiss.

Yet, we aren’t satisfied.

We throw our phones when they crash. We throw a fit when the internet’s down. We flip off the person carefully driving. We groan when the printer’s too slow. We roll our eyes when there is “nothing to eat,” because apples, milk, and cereal don’t count as food. We swerve through traffic. We don’t hold the door open. We don’t thank those who hold the door open for us. We briskly pass past the men in the red aprons that read “Salvation Army” in white stitch: we’re just trying to get our groceries and get the hell home. We snark hellish things, just to get a good laugh from a crowd of people we don’t care about.

Yet, we continue to ask ourselves, “why me?” We desperately search for the answer to this devastating question by drowning ourselves in everything any podcast, book, or youtuber titles as self-care or self-help. We meditate, journal, list five things we’re grateful for daily, read, find new creative outlets to express ourselves, cut out any toxicity in our lives, drown ourselves in work, drink more water, eat healthier, start working out, take days to ourselves to reset. We start to shut out friends once they’ve wronged us and we declare them “toxic” because our self help book told us that’s the only way to grow. We leave our spouses or girlfriends or boyfriends and friends because a podcast said we “deserve better” which translates into not wanting to communicate because we feel a sense of entitlement. If not, then the reason is that they “no longer serve a purpose.”

Yet, after all this searching, we find ourselves still not happy. We look around us, and we’ve shut out all of our friends, our significant others, and even family. We’re frustrated and confused thinking, “I’m doing everything this book/podcast/youtuber said.”

Imagine if it wasn’t this complicated.

Well, it isn’t. We just have to look. If we focus on the microscopic things, we’ll only set our sights on the negatives. Yet there’s so much to be happy about. We get to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner. We get to drink water. We sleep in a bed, under a roof. We’re able to get jobs. We can walk. We can talk. We can communicate. We can see. We can hear. We can drive. You have a phone, tablet, or computer that you can read this article on with internet. Happiness can be found in the simplest things, and it’s when we overlook them that we aren’t happy.

This beautiful post about positivity and happiness in our daily lives is inspired by Jaelyn Decena.

Welcome To The Month Of Divine Favour And Breakthrough

A donkey was tied to a tree. A demon came and released him. The donkey entered the field of a farmer and began to eat everything. The farmer’s wife saw the donkey and, afraid that it would destroy the farm, took the rifle and killed him.The donkey’s owner saw the dead donkey, got angry, and also took his rifle and fired at the woman, killing her. When the farmer got home and saw that his wife was dead, he killed the donkey’s owner.The donkey owner’s sons seeing their dead father, burned the farmers field. The farmer in retaliation killed them.When they asked the demon what he had done, he said:- “I did nothing, I just released the donkey.”Do you get it? The devil doesn’t have power to do much, but one simple thing he does triggers the evil intents of men’s hearts to harm one another. So, let’s think before seeking revenge! Be careful with your heart, because many times, the only thing the devil does is “release the donkey”

Happy New Month and Do have a great week ahead.

Easy Exercise to Quickly Shift Your Perspective: Seperating Fact From Fiction

Our reality is directly related to our perspective.

If you complain about how much you hate your job, your relationship, the weather, the economy, your life, etc… then the Universe hears you and brings you more things to complain about- a traffic jam, unexpected bills, extra work that drains you of your vital life energy. However, if you can find one tiny thing to be grateful about, then you will receive even more to appreciate and feel gratitude for.

When you are aware of your thoughts, you can catch yourself when you are about to complain or say something negative, judgmental, or act out of a habitual state of being. As the saying goes, “Awareness is the key to freedom.” Even if you catch yourself after the fact, you can still change your perspective, because every new moment is a new opportunity to choose something different. Only you have the power to choose to shift your state of awareness.

FACT: You work at a job that requires you to do the same thing day in and day out, your boss treats you like you don’t matter at all, and you get paid $9.50 an hour.

FICTION: “I hate my job so much and it’s literally killing me. It’s so boring and I can’t stand to be here, yet here I am, working myself to the bone for barely any money. I wake up in a crappy mood every morning because I just don’t want to go to work and be around my boss, who is a complete jerk. I can’t pay all the bills this month so I’ll be eating Ramen again for dinner. Ugh, it’s never going to get any better so I’ll just grab a bottle of whisky and pass out tonight so I can wake up and do the same thing again tomorrow. I hate my life.”

If this sounds all too familiar, then it’s time for a shift. Your fictional story may seem like a rock solid reality, but in all honesty, it’s just your perspective. If you think that this ‘reality’ can’t change, then it won’t, and you will find more and more situations in your life that make you unhappy. But if you are just a little willing to be open to change, then you can immediately shift to a more positive state of being.

Try this:

PERSPECTIVE SHIFT: “I am thankful that I have a job right now that at least brings in some money so that I may have a roof over my head, clothes to wear, and something to eat. There are a lot of people who don’t have their basic needs met on a regular basis, so I am blessed to have what I have. I know that I can find another job that is fun and more rewarding financially if I just search the internet, send out some resumes, and talk to people. This job is just temporary, and perhaps when I leave, someone else who needs it can have it. I think Joe downstairs was looking for work and maybe he’ll get along better with the boss than I did, or maybe not, but I know it would help him out financially. There are lots of other things that I can do and get paid for, like tutoring people in math! I’m awesome at math!”

It can take a little practice to shift from a negative outlook to a more positive one, but it’s well worth the effort because you get results instantly. You start to feel lighter inside, you have more hope, and ideas just come to you all because you are in a state of gratitude. Like attracts like, so if you find one thing to be grateful for right now, you will find another, and another, and another, until your whole life transforms and is filled to the brim with joy for just living. Your perspective on life has completely changed.

And all it takes is just one tiny shift to get the positive vibes flowing.

Happy New Month Of November

May this new month bring fresh air to your soul
As you breathe in God’s life anew.

May a sunrise of sweet promises
Dawn across your mind with dreams that come true.


May the love of your heavenly Father
Blow like a breeze through your cares
And the winds of eternities calling
Lift you high to find vision again.

Amen🙏

This Week’s Top Stories About 7 Small Habits That Will Steal Your Happiness

“Simply put, you believe that things or people make you unhappy, but this is not accurate. You make yourself unhappy.”
Wayne Dyer

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”
Marcus Aurelius

It is usually pretty easy to become a happier person.

It is also quite easy to rob yourself of your own happiness.

To make yourself more miserable and add a big bowl of suffering to your day. It is a common thing, people do it every day all over the world.

So this week I’d like to combine these two things. I want to share 7 happiness stealing habits that I have had quite a bit of trouble with in my own daily life (and I know from the emails I get that many of you do too).

But I’d also like to add what you can do instead if you find yourself being stuck in one of these destructive habits.

1. Going for a daily swim in a sea of negative voices.

This one can be quite subtle.

You just go around in your daily life like you usually do. Hang out with the same people. Listen to the same podcasts or radio shows, watch the same old TV-shows and read the usual blogs, books and magazines.

But what influence do these things have over your thinking and the limits you set for yourself and what you feel you deserve in life?

What to do instead:

Make a list of the 5 people you hang out with the most and the 5 media sources you spend most time on during your week.

Then ask yourself this for each of these 10 things/people: is this one dragging me down or lifting me up in life?

Consider spending less time with the ones that drag you down (or cut them out completely) and to spend more of your time with the people and sources that lift you up and make you feel good, motivated etc.

If you have trouble getting started with this one, then go smaller.

Take a few minutes to think about what one person or source that has the biggest negative impact on you. And how you can start to spend less time with it/him/her this week.

2. Waiting for just the right time.

When you have a dream then it is so easy to get lost in planning how you will accomplish it. To drift away in daydreams about how it will be. But also to get stuck in fears about failing with it.

So you make a common choice and wait – and wait and wait for maybe years – for just the right time to take action and get started with making that dream into something real.

What to do instead:

Sure, not every dream is something you can get started with right now.

But there are many that you can get going with. Dreams that only fear is holding you back from.

So make things easy on yourself. You don’t have to do it in a big and extremely courageous jump.

If that was the case then only the bravest people in the world would do and achieve what they want.

Instead, take a small step forward. Take one small action.

That is it.

Then tomorrow you can take another small step forward.

The important thing is that you get started and get going instead spending so much time on just waiting and feeling more and more frustrated and unhappy about the state of your dreams.

3. Letting criticism get under your skin time and time again.

When someone criticizes or verbally attacks you then it may just roll off you like water of the back of a duck.

But if it on the other hand gets under your skin pretty much every time and drags you down into hours or days of self-doubt or self-beatings then you have a problem.

What to do instead:

  • Let it out. Talk it over with someone close to you to let the inner tensions out. And to find a healthier perspective on what happened together.
  • Remember: it is not always about you. If your self-esteem is low them it is easy to start thinking that all the negative things people tell you are your fault in some way. That is however often not the case. People will attack or harshly criticize to let their own steam out. Because they have had an awful day, week or simply do not like their lives that much. So don’t think it is all about you. There are two of you in this situation.

4. Focusing on the wrong people and getting lost in envy and powerlessness

When you spend much time in your day thinking about what other people have and do and you compare your life to theirs then you have a good recipe for unhappiness.

Because you spend the attention and energy in the wrong place.

What to do instead:

Focus on you. Compare yourself to yourself.

See how far you have come. The obstacles you have overcome. How you have improved in small or sometimes bigger ways. Appreciate that and yourself.

Focus not on what others have but on what YOU deep down want in your life.

And ask yourself: what is one small step I can take today to get the ball rolling with this goal/dream?

Keep your focus on yourself and what you can actually do to raise your self-confidence, to start walking on your own path and to spend your limited daily time and energy on something that will actually pay off.

5. Not allowing yourself times of peace and rest during your day.

When you are busy, busy, busy all the time and give yourself no time to recharge then you soon become fatigued.

And so each step and each thing you do starts to feel heavier and you do not get much enjoyment at all out of pushing and pulling yourself through it.

What to do instead:

  • Take a break every hour. Try setting the timer on your cell phone for 45 minutes. During that time-period just focus on doing your most important task at the moment. Then, as the bell rings, set the timer for 15 minutes and step away from your workspace. Have a snack, talk a walk or stretch a bit. By cycling rest and fully focused work like this you’ll get more things done, do a better job and it will be easier to keep the optimism and motivation up.
  • Be 10 minutes early. Transform those traveling times during your day into relaxing breaks instead of passages of time and space that only increase your stress levels and other negative feelings.

6. Never trying anything new.

This one can be sneaky.

It can make you think that things are pretty OK. You have your safe and comfortable routine.

I know, I have been there for long stretches of time.

But during those times there was also denial of feeling dissatisfied. A vague feeling of standing still that sometimes bloomed up into a big burst of undefined, negative feelings directed towards the world or myself.

What to do instead:

  • Remind yourself of the past times when you tried something new. And how you most often did not regret it one bit but had an exciting, interesting or fun time.
  • Go small. You don’t have to try skydiving. Just take one small step and try some new and different music, a movie or book you would normally not go for or the vegetarian dish if you usually have the beef or sausage for lunch.
  • Say yes just once this week when your mind says no. If a friend invites you to go out running, doing yoga or to go fishing or to a party and your mind goes “let’s say no, that is not what I usually do” then stop yourself for a second. And reconsider. You don’t have to say yes to every suggestion you get this week to try something new, but give it a shot and say yes to just one of those things.

7. Taking things too seriously.

When you take life too seriously then it is easy to become so afraid of making a mistake and of stumbling a bit that you get paralyzed in analysis.

When you take yourself too seriously then, in my experience, it becomes difficult to fully enjoy the moment and what is happening, to let go of the past and to laugh about yourself and life when you need it the most.

What to instead:

  • Put up a reminder. When I wanted to develop a lighter mindset quite a few years ago one thing that helped me was a simple note on fridge that said: Lighten Up! This reminder helped me to snap out of overly serious thoughts several times a day until this way of finding a lighter perspective became more and more of an automatic thought habit.
  • Surround yourself with lighter mindsets. As mentioned in the section about habit #1, what and who you surround yourself with will have a big effect on how you think. No matter if it is a positive or negative aspect they add. So one powerful thing to do is to add lighter mindsets via people, books, the internet etc. to your daily life.
  • Raise your self-esteem. I have found that as my self-esteem has gone up I can laugh about myself more because I am less defensive. I have more trust in myself and so I fear a temporary failure less. And I like myself more and so I am less concerned about getting everyone else to like me all the time.

You can use this article as a manual for your everyday growth and improvement.

How to be Full of Joy Even if You’re Suffering Right Now

We can be full of joy in the midst of our suffering if only we can see the flip side to it and not just the side that invokes pain. (It’s about perspective)- Sho

Suffering implies experiencing discomfort. No one likes discomfort. But, how you embrace it depends on your perspective. In this post, I’m going to explain how to be full of joy even if you’re suffering.

ou may view suffering as a consequence of actions that led you out of God’s protection or covering. Such a view perceives hardship as a sign that sin is lurking somewhere in your life. You may also view it as an attack from the enemy. In either case, you are naturally inclined to do whatever it takes for the pain to stop or difficulty to end. Could you, however, be missing God’s work in the midst of all this?

In Romans 5 NIV, as Paul makes a case for the basis of our salvation through faith in Christ, he throws in an interesting comment on suffering in verse 3 and 4

“… but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope …”

This is interesting because what we see here is that if we endure suffering, the end state is that it produces character and hope. And this is a reason to rejoice. We see a similar assertion in James 1: 2-4 NIV.

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

In essence, suffering, trials and hardship can be a tool in God’s hands to makes us more like Christ.

Joy

God can use suffering, trials, and hardship as tools when we endure, rather than try to escape or avoid it. Just like the soreness and pain from working out, we can endure the discomfort because God is using it to make us more like Jesus, even if we may not completely get it at the moment.

When that crazy driver next to you is testing your patience on the road, or that rude co-worker or you experience a series of unfortunate events, think on these things. As crazy as it may sound or seem to those around you, you may just have a reason to rejoice. As you ask God for wisdom, ask for grace to endure. If you keep your eyes on the fact that once you have endured this specific challenge, you are one step closer to being like Him, you can find some joy in suffering.