Guest Post: 15 Things To Remind Yourself Of When Life Seems Overwhelming And Difficult

Hello guys,

Raise your hand if this year has been rough. Yeah, I know. We’ve all had a rough year. Some of us have had a rough few years. Now, do me a favour and put your hand on your chest. Do you feel that? That’s called life. Your heart hasn’t stopped beating to keep you alive, so don’t waste any more of it feeling sorry for yourself. There’s time for everything in this life. There’s time to mourn, cry, to be angry, to feel indifferent, but there’s also time to laugh, hug, kiss, and dance. If you’ve been moping for a while, maybe it’s time you remind yourself of these things and finally start living life more fully.

1. You’re more than just your body.

You have a mind, a soul and a heart. The outside is just the tip of the iceberg. There’s so much more in you that people love than what’s on the outside. Put more focus on what’s inside and let that beauty flourish from the inside out.

2. You can do anything.

If you focus and plan, you’ll surely reach those goals. It’ll take work, but it’ll feel good to know that hard work and helping yourself was your key to success.

3. You’re the only person who can make you happy.

No one else can make you happy, nor can you fill voids in the happiness department with material things. You and only you can control your level of happiness.

4. Problems have solutions.

Take a moment. Breathe. Think. Analyze. Plan. Solve. You can do it.

5. Is your problem really that big or are you being dramatic?

Stop and assess. Don’t waste energy on worrying about something not worth worrying about.

6. Be thankful for your support system.

No matter how big or how small, you’re part of a community of people who love you. Appreciate them and give thanks that you have someone to turn to.

7. You’re not alive to impress anyone.

Life is not about fitting in or making people like you because of how you look or what you have. Social media is full of liars and the moment you understand that, the lesser you’ll feel like impressing anyone.

8. Do things for yourself.

If you like it, do it. If it makes you feel good, do it. If it makes you happy, do it. If it makes you feel empowered, do it.

9. Life has a long list of good things ready for you.

You may be in a rut now, but that won’t be forever. Life always gives us sweet surprises. Be on the lookout.

10. Failing doesn’t mean it’s over.

You may have failed 1,000 times and feel like giving up. That’s ok. If you don’t want to give up and know you want to continue persevering, that’s also ok. It’s not over until you say it is.

11. People love you, so why don’t you love yourself?

We have this tendency to constantly self-deprecate. We under-value and under-appreciate ourselves, when the people we know value and love us. If they can love you, you can definitely love yourself too.

12. Life doesn’t suck as much as you think it does.

If we look hard enough, finding the bright side to life isn’t all that hard. Count your blessings, literally. Write them down and be amazed. Your life isn’t that bad.

13. You’re not alone.

We’re all on this journey together. And yes, life can seem easier for some and harder for others, but a wise man once said, “the sun rises for both good and evil”. You’ll get a fair shot at the things you want, but in the meantime, rest assured that everyone is fighting for something. You’re not an isolated case.

14. Messing up just means you’re human.

Congrats, you’re not a robot, or an alien, or a fictional character. You’re a real, live person who stumbles. Dust yourself off and start over. It’s that simple.

15. Don’t deprive yourself of anything lovely.

Never deny yourself the opportunity to love, eat, dance, sing, cry, shout, etc. Go. See new places, make new friends, try new things. Life is short and isn’t meant to be rationed.

Source: Much credit to Fernanda

Sometimes It’s a Blessing That You Didn’t Get What You Prayed For

This is a guest post.

When I look back on some of the things I prayed for in the past, I feel lucky and grateful that they didn’t happen because now that I know better, some of the things I prayed for would have ruined my life. You see, it’s not that God didn’t answer your prayer, he answered it by not giving it to you. It was his way of telling you that this is not going to serve you and one day you will know exactly why.

Sometimes it’s a blessing that it didn’t work out with someone you wanted to be with because they weren’t good for you or they had circumstances that you wouldn’t have been able to live with because you hear what people say about them now or you see what kind of partner they are and you get why God didn’t make it happen. Sometimes it doesn’t work out because you were meant to find someone better for you or make room for them to show up.

Sometimes it’s a blessing that you didn’t get the job you wanted because you didn’t know what kind of environment you were going to be in and it pushed you to be creative and look outside your field or your comfort zone and you found something that motivated you more, something you were more passionate about and something you can actually make a difference in. There’s always a bigger reason why you weren’t granted your wishes and the reason is always valid and serving your best interest.

Sometimes God doesn’t answer your prayer the way you want to but he answers them in his own way. Maybe that looks like rejection or failure or heartbreak or injustice in the beginning but when you accept that reality and start moving on with your life, you look back and you understand how his answer was much better than yours. You look back and you secretly thank him for changing your path or your calling or your heart. You thank him for removing certain people and opportunities from your life because now you know how toxic they could have been. Now you know what’s right for you and what you deserve and that’s something God knew all along.

Sometimes it’s a blessing that you didn’t get what you prayed for because that means that God has better plans for you and his blessings will exceed everything you once prayed for. When you figure out God’s vision behind your unanswered prayers, you will understand that sometimes he protects you from yourself.

Happy Easter guys, and don’t forget you are victorious, loved, and ascended.

Bless.

Much credit to Rania Naim.

Repost: You Grow From Your Challenges

Another Reminder!

So I learnt something about Happiness today. Happiness is a decision.

And sometimes happiness is not really a ‘thing’ at all, but a decision. Deciding to live with a spirit of gratitude. Choosing to be thankful, to see the bright side, to love and smile and have hope, regardless of what’s in the way. Accepting that you cannot change everything, but you can adapt your attitude. And letting yourself heal.

Happiness comes for no reason at all, other than because you decide you want it there.

When we Release what is not meant for us. Release what has abandoned us. Release what has attempted to destroy us, hold us captive, bring us down. Release the pain we’ve been holding in our chest. Release the anxiety, the anger, and the fear.

So choose to be thankful in the challenges. Choose to see the bright side, the healing, the places you will go and people you will meet next.

Have a wonderful day!

You Glow Differently When You Let The Pain Go

You glow differently when you let the pain go. The pain of the past. The pain of your childhood. The pain of your breakup. The pain of your failures. You glow differently when you don’t let pain define you. When you take the lessons it taught you and turn them into wisdom, into art or into stepping stones on your way to resilience.

You glow differently every time people expect you to break but you don’t crack. You’ve survived storms before. You’ve overcome tragedies and painful experiences before. You can do this. You glow differently when you allow yourself to feel the pain without letting it permeate your life. When you let it all out but continue to live your life to the fullest. When you let the darkness roll out but let the sunlight in the next morning.

You glow differently when you don’t let your heartbreak stop you from finding love again, when it becomes your motivation to find your passion or get back in touch with your friends or meet new people. You glow differently when you believe that these things end for a very good reason, even though you might not understand it right away, it’s what’s best for you. You glow differently when you believe that God won’t take something away from you unless something better is on the way.

You glow differently when you don’t let your childhood wounds define you. Whether it was how your parents treated you or what they told you about love or about yourself. You glow differently when you forgive yourself. When you don’t carry the burdens of your childhood with you. When you don’t let the darkness of the past shadow the brightness of your future.

You glow differently when you’re not scared of pain, when you’re not ashamed of your scars, when you’ve found a way to accept the pain and you’re not ashamed to tell your story. When you let your pain inspire you to dig out your inner strength, your power or your talent. You glow differently every time you grow out of your pain and find happiness again.

You glow differently every time you heal because it looks so damn good on you.

Share to your loved ones who needs this.

Bless.

Why We Love To Choose To Be Thankful In The Challenges—That’s Where You Grow And You Should, Too!

I remembered when I was young, my aunty and teacher in school asked us a question on what we wanted to be when we grew up. At the time, I was bursting with dreams—a pilot, a soldier, a police officer, an Aeronotic Engineer and so on. Of all the items on the list, though, there was one theme. When I grew up, most of all, I wanted to be happy.

And so I put it on the back of mind to work towards what I want to become. The options waa many, but in all what makes me happy matters — a promise to my future self. That scribbled word was a goal, a mindset I would work towards, regardless of the obstacles along the way.

Years later, and more or less ‘grown up,’ I think about what I said I will become often. I think about how it has followed me through the turbulence of my teenage years, the chaos of the university, and into adulthood, where honestly, being happy seems like the most important conscious choice I can make.

Being happy, I’ve realized is not something you can pinpoint, grab between your fingertips, or keep. It’s more abstract than we give it credit for. We search as if we’re able to discover it, obtain it, hold it in our palms—but sometimes it’s so beautifully transient.

And sometimes happiness is not really a ‘thing’ at all, but a decision. Deciding to live with a spirit of gratitude. Choosing to be thankful, to see the bright side, to love and smile and have hope, regardless of what’s in the way. Accepting that you cannot change everything, but you can adapt your attitude. And letting yourself heal.

Happiness comes from finding peace with where you are. Not because it’s exactly where you wanted to be. Not because you have everything you could ever need. Not because you are wealthy, or in love, or doing better than the person next to you.

Happiness comes for no reason at all, other than because you decide you want it there.

You decide to create it, to make it, to build it out of the circumstances around you. You decide to open the door to it, to let it in, and then to foster its growth in your life, no matter what good or bad moments you face.

You decide that you want to live positively—bringing in good energy and people and moments and exhaling all that is out of your control. You decide that when terrible things happen to you, when you’re broken, when you lose people you love, when you’re left, when you’re exhausted or defeated or angry, that instead of letting the circumstances of this life control you, you want to react with a smile on your face. You choose to say, ‘I can’t change what has happened, but I can change my reaction, my next breath, next step, and where I go next.’

And you walk forward, focusing not on what you’ve lost or has been taken from you, but the knowledge you’ve gained, the love you’ve created, the strength you’ve found, the hope you’ve given yourself, and the wealth of things, people, memories, and moments you have to be thankful for.

So choose to be thankful in the challenges. Choose to see the bright side, the healing, the places you will go and people you will meet next.

Choose to let go of what you cannot fix or control, what you are not in charge of, what is out of your reach. Choose to accept the circumstances of this life, even when they’re imperfect or awful, and instead of wrapping yourself up in negativity, exhale and release.

Release what is not meant for you. Release what has abandoned you. Release what has attempted to destroy you, hold you captive, bring you down. Release the pain you’ve been holding in your chest. Release the anxiety, the anger, the fear.

Release and make a conscious choice—today and every day—to seek happiness and live with a grateful heart. Because there you will heal, you will begin again, you will grow.

It won’t be nice if I take all the credit for this piece. Thanks to the brilliant Marisa.

Share and comment.

The Truth About Changing Your Life Is That It Is Often Means Doing Less, Not More

The beginning of a self-transformation requires action, but the end of it requires something deeper, something harder, something you’ve probably never realized before.

While doing more will almost always generate results, there’s an untapped, life-changing magic in doing less.

Sometimes, your problems don’t come from what you’re not doing, they come from what you can’t stop doing.

To really change your life, you probably need to consume less. You probably need to learn to use what you have, to take a breath and stop yourself every time you think you need that one new perfect thing that will magically transform you into a new person.

You probably need to spend less. You probably need to reevaluate your patterns and behaviors and refocus on your long-term goals, prioritizing your future comfort over your immediate gratification.

You probably need to engage less, both with people who are not mentally mature and people whom do not have any intention of having a civil discourse with you. This is not because you can’t speak freely, but because having an exchange with someone whose intent is to fight you rather than connect with you will always be a losing situation.

You probably need to change less. When we start out on our healing journey, it’s about uprooting, replanting, and sprouting. But if you’re unhealed beneath the surface, you won’t be able to lay roots without wanting to rip them out again. Healing, you will find, is not about how many times you can start over, it is whether to not you can bloom.

You probably need to care less. When your mind is consumed with trying to master and perfect every single little thing in your life, you get overwhelmed and give up. Instead, you have to focus on the few things that are actually requiring your attention, and then build from there.

You probably need to do less. Not because you shouldn’t be productive, but because you only have so much energy in a day, and when you spend it on things you don’t really care much about, you find yourself constantly exhausted, drained and at your wit’s end.

You probably need to have fewer expectations. Often, we conflate that with having high standards, but they aren’t the same thing. Unrealistic expectations will slowly wreck you, because they require that you achieve perfection immediately. When your expectation is that you should be a natural-born master of whatever you try to do, it becomes really hard to show up and do the work consistently, which is what you actually have to do to achieve mastery.

You probably need to not try so hard. When you try to force people to like you, it usually has the opposite effect. When you try to convince yourself you’re attractive, you usually seem less so. When you are trying to force every outcome in your life, there’s usually a reason they aren’t coming together on their own.

You probably need to give fewer excuses. Not because you’re going to be unkind to yourself, but because the kindest thing you can possibly do is stop avoiding the honest truth about what’s wrong. You cannot keep trying to positive-self-talk your way into thinking you love your life when you do not. When we’re ready to make fewer justifications, it means we’re also ready to make greater change.

The truth about doing less is that it’s going to bring you into stillness. It is going to require you to face that discomfort you’ve been running from head-on.

The truth is that when we first realize we need to change our lives, it is easy to get swept away in the escape fantasy of it all. Everything has to go, and nothing can stay. There’s an addictive quality to starting over, and if you’re not careful, you can confuse it for actually healing.

Truly getting better is learning to be okay where you are, wherever you are. It is actually metabolizing that discomfort for once, listening to it, letting it show you where you are deeply misaligned.

It is to become grounded, to make positive decisions for the long-term, to start breaking those destructive habits that have been fueled by the pain you haven’t quite had a name for all these years.

It is to no longer be controlled by your feelings, but by your ambitions, by your dreams for the future.

When you go about changing your life, sometimes, the most radical shift of all is to do absolutely nothing — and wait for the sun to rise.

The Truth About Transforming Your Life Is That It Is Often Means Doing Less, Not More

The beginning of a self-transformation requires action, but the end of it requires something deeper, something harder, something you’ve probably never realized before.

While doing more will almost always generate results, there’s an untapped, life-changing magic in doing less.

Sometimes, your problems don’t come from what you’re not doing, they come from what you can’t stop doing.

To really change your life, you probably need to consume less. You probably need to learn to use what you have, to take a breath and stop yourself every time you think you need that one new perfect thing that will magically transform you into a new person.

You probably need to spend less. You probably need to reevaluate your patterns and behaviors and refocus on your long-term goals, prioritizing your future comfort over your immediate gratification.

You probably need to engage less, both with people who are not mentally mature and people whom do not have any intention of having a civil discourse with you. This is not because you can’t speak freely, but because having an exchange with someone whose intent is to fight you rather than connect with you will always be a losing situation.

You probably need to change less. When we start out on our healing journey, it’s about uprooting, replanting, and sprouting. But if you’re unhealed beneath the surface, you won’t be able to lay roots without wanting to rip them out again. Healing, you will find, is not about how many times you can start over, it is whether to not you can bloom.

You probably need to care less. When your mind is consumed with trying to master and perfect every single little thing in your life, you get overwhelmed and give up. Instead, you have to focus on the few things that are actually requiring your attention, and then build from there.

You probably need to do less. Not because you shouldn’t be productive, but because you only have so much energy in a day, and when you spend it on things you don’t really care much about, you find yourself constantly exhausted, drained and at your wit’s end.

You probably need to have fewer expectations. Often, we conflate that with having high standards, but they aren’t the same thing. Unrealistic expectations will slowly wreck you, because they require that you achieve perfection immediately. When your expectation is that you should be a natural-born master of whatever you try to do, it becomes really hard to show up and do the work consistently, which is what you actually have to do to achieve mastery.

You probably need to not try so hard. When you try to force people to like you, it usually has the opposite effect. When you try to convince yourself you’re attractive, you usually seem less so. When you are trying to force every outcome in your life, there’s usually a reason they aren’t coming together on their own.

You probably need to give fewer excuses. Not because you’re going to be unkind to yourself, but because the kindest thing you can possibly do is stop avoiding the honest truth about what’s wrong. You cannot keep trying to positive-self-talk your way into thinking you love your life when you do not. When we’re ready to make fewer justifications, it means we’re also ready to make greater change.

The truth about doing less is that it’s going to bring you into stillness. It is going to require you to face that discomfort you’ve been running from head-on.

The truth is that when we first realize we need to change our lives, it is easy to get swept away in the escape fantasy of it all. Everything has to go, and nothing can stay. There’s an addictive quality to starting over, and if you’re not careful, you can confuse it for actually healing.

Truly getting better is learning to be okay where you are, wherever you are. It is actually metabolizing that discomfort for once, listening to it, letting it show you where you are deeply misaligned.

It is to become grounded, to make positive decisions for the long-term, to start breaking those destructive habits that have been fueled by the pain you haven’t quite had a name for all these years.

It is to no longer be controlled by your feelings, but by your ambitions, by your dreams for the future.

When you go about changing your life, sometimes, the most radical shift of all is to do absolutely nothing — and wait for the sun to rise.

This is a guest post from Brianna Weist.

Healing Means The Pain No Longer Controls You Even If You Can’t Forget It 

Healing is a long process and it’s a long journey. There’s no right way to heal and realistically there’s no right way to forget. You don’t have to forget your deepest pain and you shouldn’t. It scarred you but it also changed you. It wounded your soul but it also taught you the art of surviving. The art of choosing to live and fight for your happiness.

Healing means you remember everything but it doesn’t hurt anymore. You look at the people who hurt you and you don’t feel a thing. You look at them and they don’t have that power anymore. They don’t have the power to ruin your day and your life. You’ve overcome their demons and their ghosts. You’ve let their toxicity go. They’re the reason why you understand that you’re better off without some people. They’re the reason why you understand that some people have to go for better people to come along.

Healing means you know that some broken pieces of you will never be the same again but that will never stop you from loving again with all your heart, from believing again after losing all hope, from starting over after hitting rock bottom. Healing means you’re not scared of getting hurt again because you know how to bounce back and you know life will never be free of pain. 

Don’t listen to people who ask you to forget about your problems or your pain or your heartbreak, you can’t just forget something that changed you forever, you can’t just forget someone who meant the world to you, you can’t just forget and you shouldn’t put that kind of pressure on yourself.

Healing means you show off your scars with pride. It means you tell your painful stories with wisdom. It means you forgive yourself for allowing people to hurt you. It means you don’t define yourself by the people who broke your heart. It means speaking softly about yourself instead of blaming yourself for the pain you had to endure.

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting, it means remembering everything but instead of letting it weigh you down, let it lift you up. You still smile. You still love. You still give. You still believe. The pain won’t stop you from living.

Healing is a reminder that nothing was ever strong enough to break you. 


Guest post from Rania Naim. 🙏🙏🙏

How to Stop Feeling Guilty & Believe in Yourself

Have you been feeling guilty recently?

Or perhaps for a very long time?

Maybe you’ve done something you regret, something awful even.

Or maybe you are just tired of feeling shamefaced all the time.

You’re going to get really good at this. The more you practice reframing your thoughts about your relationships, the more enchanting you will become.

The process goes something like this:

  1. First ask yourself, “Should I really feel guilty about this?”
  2. Question the motivations of the person placing guilt on you. Was it about their needs or yours?
  3. If you are at fault, do something about it. Make it up to the person if you can. And move on.
  4. It’s not the end of the world if you lose a relationship with someone who doesn’t care about you or won’t forgive you.
  5. Use the experience as a learning opportunity to make yourself a better person.

And remember this, you gorgeous person–the best cure for guilt is to the become the highest version of yourself, not of someone else!

Thank you Tami Green for these wonderful points.

Image credit: Pinterest

Overcoming The Fear Of Rejection

To be a soul winner for Jesus, we must overcome all fear, including rejection. The Samaritan Woman at the Well not only carried water, she carried the burden of rejection. This is the incredible story of her turnaround from Weakness to Wellness to Witness.

Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon. (John 4:6 NIV)

She was alone drawing from Jacob’s well at about the sixth hour. This was a famous well that provided water to the community. But it was the sixth hour, in the hot afternoon. This Samaritan woman was alone because the well was half of a mile away from the community. The women usually carried water either in the morning or the evening. Why did she come under the hot sun? Maybe it was an emergency. Or maybe she wanted to be alone, away from the eyes of other women, to avoid listening to disparaging remarks from other women. Or was it out of fear?

Rejected by Society

He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.” “I have no husband,” she replied. Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”(John 4:16-18 NIV)

She had had 5 husbands and the man whom she was living with – was not a husband. In those days, women don’t divorce husbands. Either she was divorced 5 times, or had had 5 husbands who died, or a combination of both. In any case, she would have most likely been disregarded by men and a taboo to the women of that society in general.

Related Post: Not Another Burden

Furthermore, she was not married to the man she was living with. After 5 marriages, she wasn’t young anymore. Young women carried waters from the well because they were stronger. Because of the fact she had to carry water herself meant that she didn’t have a servant. We can infer that she was living with that man because she was depending on him financially. Since she was willing to live with him without being married to him, it showed her desperation.

Jesus Crossed Barriers to Reach Out to Her

As a rule of thumb, Jews don’t speak to Samaritans. Men couldn’t speak to women without the husband’s there. Rabbis were not supposed to be near her. Sounds like fear, right? Jesus confronted her past. She didn’t lie to hide her shame.

To be a soul winner, we need to be transparent so that others can see the real Jesus in us. For the light to shine into us, and then, through us to others, we need to be transparent.

Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, “He told me everything I ever did.” (John 4:39 NIV)

Her transparency was clear when she brought many souls to Jesus. She told many about Jesus: “He told me all that I ever did.” This means she laid bare about her past life to many people. She didn’t care if they already knew about her past or not.

Through her divine supernatural encounter with Jesus, she knew without a shadow of doubt that God loved and accepted her. Now she was no longer living in fear. She was no longer dependent on others for love and acceptance. She now knew that God Himself loved and accepted her.

Photo credit: Pinterest

Only by walking through the desert do we receive the refreshment of God.

By: Joshua Delp


Often, when faced with trials of many kinds, we view it as the work of the enemy and not the work of God. As far as I can see, this is not a biblical truth. Now certainly, there is an element to trial that involves our sinful nature, fleshly desires, spiritual warfare, and the chaos and insanity of this world.

I know many of you who are reading this have suffered greatly. You have seen and experienced that which you would not wish on your worst enemy. I know that. I have too. The pain and brokenness you have faced was not the work of God.

But our God is the God of Salvation; the God that makes all things new. (2 Corinthians 5:17) Remember that God allowed Job to go through trials that he may give an example of faith to the generations. Promise after promise in the Bible assures us that God uses trial to create greater faith in us, steadfastness, perseverance, a more Christ like character.

James says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

While no one enjoys hardship, we all know that it is in the hard times that a person’s true character is revealed. Following Jesus is easy in church; and when everything is going our way. What about when it costs us something?

Sometimes God must allow us to come to the end of our strength because it is only then that we learn to rely on His Grace, which is the power to be the men and women He is calling us to be.
The beauty of God’s Mercy is that if we will hold on to Him, if we continue to follow Jesus, even when everything is screaming on the inside and outside, our worse, when we are mediocre and complacent, he uses the darkness of this broken world to create something priceless in us: Steadfast faith that will lead us to Eternity with God.

Only by walking through the desert do we receive the refreshment of God. Only by persevering in the face of trial, do we receive the crown of Life.

Paul said it like this, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

James said it like this, “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” James 1:12
And Peter said it like this, “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith–of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire–may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” 1 Peter 1:6-7

Dealing with Grief and Finding Hope

Nobody wants to die but want to go to heaven.
Death is inevitable. But death─ sudden or expected─ always brings sorrow and grief to the ones who are left behind. However, life still marches on. It is hard, but we must remember that as humans we have an immense ability to cope with anything that life brings. Although we all have different levels of coping abilities, there are several basic and universal steps to dealing with grief and finding hope again…

Allow The Feelings To Flow: Losing someone you love will conjure all unimaginable emotions within you, sorrow, regret, guilt, pain, grief, heartbreaks, misery, anger, sadness and many more. Feeling these emotions all at once can be extremely difficult. It is quite normal, so let them flow. You do not need to suppress them. Cry all you want. With time and allowing grief to be released, it will become less painful. It is an important process that will help you in dealing with grief and accepting your loss.

Talk About It When You Can: Talking about the death of your loved ones can be a way of remembering them and can help you understand what happened. It will give you the opportunity to start the healing process. Denying the death of a loved one can result in isolation and you pushing away your family and friends.

Find A Support System: Coping with a loved one’s death is never easy; especially if you are dealing with it alone. You need support coming from your family and friends so that you can find comfort and overcome grief faster. Moreover, while your family and friends can be your greatest source of support for overcoming the death of someone, but it is also advisable that you take advice from professional people when you find all the emotions and pain too hard to handle. Psychologists give professional advice and develop strategies according to your needs to get you through the grieving process.

Understand The Grieving Process: Dealing with grief and bereavement is a process. It is quite important to allow yourself to experience every stage of the grieving process for you to completely heal. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross outlined the five stages of grief in her book titled “On Death and Dying.” These stages are not necessarily experienced in order and some stages can be revisited. These five stages are:

  • Denial: Dealing with death can be overwhelming. It is an incomprehensible experience and you can find it hard to believe that your loved one is gone. You continue to deny that it is not happening and there is no way that your loved one left you.
  • Anger: As you realize the reality of your situation you begin to feel angry. Your anger or fury might be directed to your loved one for leaving you, to the doctors for not doing their job and healing your loved one, to God who took your loved one or even to yourself for maybe not being a better person to your loved one. All of this is quite normal and will pass.
  • Bargaining: It is quite common for an individual to start bargaining or negotiating with a higher power, like God. Do not be surprised or think that you are crazy when you start making deals with God like: “I will be better, just please give him back to me.”
  • Depression: The sorrow and overwhelming sadness you feel after the death of a loved one is normal. It is common to feel that your life will never be the same again. This feeling does not last forever and will pass with time.
  • Acceptance: This stage does not necessarily mean that you accept or come to terms that your loved one is already dead. It does not mean that if you are already at this stage, you will not revisit the other stages above. But rather, it means that the pain and grief of losing someone you love will reduce and become more manageable.

Celebrate Life: You need to mourn the death of your loved ones, but there comes a time when you need to turn from the mourning toward a new stage, of celebrating life again. Understanding that death is inevitable and that we will all die someday will give you an opportunity to live your life to the fullest. Remember that your life does not stop when someone you love passes away. Ask yourself this: “Would he or she be happy seeing me like this forever because they passed?” Cry as much as you need to, but know that your family and friends are still there for you, ready to walk forward and to live life fully with you now. Celebrate the fact that you are living.

Preserve Precious Memories: Someone so special to you might be gone but their memories stay. Keep all photographs, things he or she gave you, or create a memorial like planting a tree to remember your loved one. This will help you keep all the memories you shared together and overcome your loss.

Final Thoughts: It always feels so unfair when someone you love passes away, but that does not mean you have to stop living. God created us, human beings, to be strong and to survive anything. So, grieve as much as you need to, and remember you will be able to stand up and smile again. After all, your loved ones may not have stayed with you, but the memories you have with them will forever stay in your heart.

I can testify to each and every point stated here. I don’t know about you but if you have anyone facing the difficulty of not passing through grief and lack hope. Please share this with them.

Have a blessed day!!!

By: Brian Zeng

    Addiction is Real. Here’s How to Beat It

    Addiction is real

    Have you known an addict or been an addict? Are you an addict now?

    Unfortunately, addictions come with the human condition. We’ve got alcoholics, drug addicts, sex addicts, workaholics, self-mutilators, and more. You name it, our culture has found it and become addicted to it.

    Addiction is defined as anything we do repeatedly that causes harm to ourselves and/or others. The underlying driver to addiction is a general dissatisfaction with your life, your self-image, or identity. In extreme cases, an intense self-hatred and a sense of hopelessness and despair are the foundations of addiction.
    Are you saying to yourself right now, “I can’t think of anything I’m addicted to”? Well, I’d say to you, “Come on. We’re all addicted to something.” If you don’t think that’s true of you, look through this list with me.

    Are you addicted to:

    • Achievement – Always needing to perform to feel valuable
    • Self-Pity – Constant feeling of “poor me” and “life is unfair”
    • Worry – A consistent lack of peace
    • Drinking – You need a drink to be happy, sleep, or feel connected to people
    • Being Busy – If you’re alone or still, you feel depressed or lonely
    • Sex – You can’t stop viewing porn, quit masturbating , or view the others without sexual thoughts.
    • Social Media – You’re constantly connected to your phone or computer, ignoring the people right in front of you
    • Gambling – A need to take risk, make money, and feel valued from winning
    • Self-Sabotage – You can’t hold on to a relationship, you screw up great opportunities, and you can’t allow yourself to succeed.

    Yes, you can be addicted to so-called positive things such as achievement. Look at Dale Partridge for example. He struggled with a serious addiction of being busy and achievement. Achievement became part of his identity. He started 6 businesses within 8 years producing over $15 million in revenue. But he didn’t know who was apart from outside praise and achievement. His addiction to work and achievement linked directly with a general dissatisfaction, if not, a downright dislike for who he was. He thought that his identity and worth was based solely in what I accomplished instead of who he was.

    The bottom line is this: we all just want to be loved. We want to feel loved. We all deserve love. We starve for connectivity and depth, but we’re seriously scared and often times, lack the basic relational ability to reach out and get it.

    So, if you had to choose something, what would you say you’re addicted to? Think about your thoughts for the day. Are there patterns? Ruts? Are there places in your mind that you continue to visit and obsess over during each 24-hour period?

    What are they? Be brave and write them down. Let’s begin the healing process.

    I want you to pay attention here. You deserve better. You deserve more. You were created for awe and purpose. You were created to love and be loved. The things that grip you don’t have to strangle the life out of you. There is hope and there is a way out.

    Today begin telling yourself the opposite of the lies in your head. Begin practicing love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and self-control. Tell a trusted friend about your addiction. Reach out. Call a group. Don’t wait. This is your life we’re talking about.

    You deserve normal. You deserve love, balance, joy, peace, and success. Go after it.

    Maybe One Day We’ll Figure This Life Out

    Figuring Life Out

    Maybe one day we’ll know why certain people have left us and why they didn’t come back. One day we will be able to connect the dots and understand how the pieces we didn’t understand all found their way to fit into the puzzle of our lives and complete the picture.

    Maybe one day we’ll know why destiny keeps bringing certain people back into our lives or why their lessons had to be learned over and over again so we can finally know it by heart.

    Maybe those people are meant to be a bigger part of our future and they keep reappearing to remind us that their part in our story is not over.
    Maybe one day we’ll know why we left certain jobs and why we were forced to change directions. Maybe we were meant to change the world and our jobs weren’t going to make that happen. Maybe we are free spirits who are destined to roam the world freely without being caged in an orbit of predictability.

    Maybe one day we’ll know why we didn’t get along with our parents or our relatives. Maybe we were meant to go out and make new friends and find people who teach us that we don’t have to share the same blood to count as family. Maybe we were meant to get lost and wander to find where we truly belong – to find a home we don’t want to escape from.

    Maybe we were meant to fail and be laughed at to learn how to shield ourselves from the stones that keep getting thrown our way.

    Maybe we needed to learn how to walk on pebbles so we can walk slowly and discover that there is more than one path along the way.

    Maybe we were meant to be laughed at so we can understand that one person’s tragedy is another person’s comedy.

    Maybe we were meant to fall in love with the wrong people to learn that love doesn’t discriminate. That the heart doesn’t know the rules or the terms or the social conduct. It just feels and jumps recklessly into anything that moves it. Maybe we need to learn that love will always be inexplicable, something of the Gods, something that calls us to do things that are unfamiliar to us. Something that makes us believe in magic – a dream that meddles in the nightmares of reality.

    Maybe we were meant to sail away from the shore to learn the methods of surviving alone, to learn that loneliness won’t kill us and solitude can be our friend. Maybe we need to disappear to see who will care to find us, who will care to bring us back to life, who will wonder about us and who will wish we never find our way back.

    Maybe we needed to be scared so we can understand that we will never be fearless but we can be courageous and we can be brave. Maybe one day we will know if our fear is merely a reflection of our own insecurities or fear of our own greatness . Maybe one day we will know why we were so afraid to shine.

    Maybe one day we will know why we just can’t be happy, why we are always searching for something to stress us out so we can feel like we are part of society, why we always have to feel ‘useful’ to be accepted, why we always want more than what we have and why we feel like it’s a crime to just exist – just be – bounded by our nothingness.

    Maybe one day we will look back and life will make sense, maybe one day we will stop asking so many questions and let the answers find us. Maybe one day we will know for sure why we wasted so much trying to get a grasp of life that we forgot that we are here to live it – not understand it.

    Things God Wants You To Remember When Life Gets Rough

    Things God Wants You To Remember When Life Gets Rough

    1. He is listening. He is listening to your prayers, your fears, your pain and your silence. He is listening to what you are asking for and in time he will either give you what you were asking for or something much better.

    2. He is making you stronger. With every unanswered prayer, with every disappointment, with every hurdle, with every loss, he is making you stronger. He is giving you the strength you need so you can be strong for others. So you can be a strong mother, a strong father, a strong wife, a strong husband, a strong daughter, a strong son, and a strong friend.

    3. He has a better plan for you. He knows what’s better for you, he knows what you
    need not what you want . He is planning the perfect timing for your life. The timing of your love, the timing of your career, and the timing of your miracle.

    4. He will answer your questions. He will show you why you didn’t get that job, or why it didn’t work out with that person. He will show you why you lost a loved one, why he broke your heart or why he tested you so much. He will make things clear to you and you will thank him for it.

    5. He will heal you. He will heal your broken heart, he will ease your restless mind, and he will solve the mystery of your puzzled thoughts. He wants you to be patient but he will always fix you.

    6. He wants you to trust him. He wants you to have faith in him, he wants you to leave the big things – the uncontrollable things up to him, he wants you to believe in him, he wants you to go back to him when you think you have no one and he wants you to trust that he will provide for you when you lose everything. He will always rescue you before you drown.

    7. He wants you to know you’re never alone. He is always there with you; when you’re scared or confused, he is there with you. When you’re afraid of the dark, he is there with you. When you are crying late at night and you think no one can hear you, he can hear you. When you’ve given up on your life and on love and think you have no one, you have him. No matter where you are, he is always with you and he wants you to know that he is enough.

    8. He wants you to grow. He wants to you to change, he wants you to learn things the hard way, he wants you to evolve, he wants you step outside of your comfort zone, he wants you to lose your way so you can find him and find yourself. He wants you to be wise and strong and he wants you to prosper.

    9. He wants you to know he loves you. He loves you more than you know, he may be hard on you sometimes but he loves you, he may not give you everything you asked for but he loves you. No matter how many mistakes you’ve made or how many times you got angry with him, he still loves you, he forgives you and he is turning your life around. He doesn’t love you for your money or your looks or your status, he loves you for you. God loves you more in a moment than anyone could in a lifetime.

    10. He wants you to believe in miracles. He is bringing you small miracles so you can believe in the big miracles. In every dream of yours that come true, in every pleasant surprise you get, in every enlightening situation you encounter, in every person who moved you, in every person you loved – he’s making miracles happen. He’s a God of magic, wonder and hope and he wants you to believe that.

    Credit to one of my mentors Rania Naim