When You’re Struggling with Anxiety & Won’t Admit It

This is a guest post from Allison Bautista

 In the post, some valuable lessons of self-love and tackling anxiety are being explained.

1. Be Honest With Yourself

Even though I care for patients struggling with their mental health needs, I felt compelled to keep silent about my own because of the existing stigmas in our culture. I crafted a mask to hide that I was not coping, and my manager was dumbfounded to hear about my anxiety, saying, “But you are doing so well! So why?”

“Why?” was a question I desperately wanted to answer, as I began experiencing panic attacks before work, which resulted in lack of sleep, emotional drain, and worsening of my mental health. I’d wake up hours before my shift with heart palpitations and a feeling of dread and doom that wouldn’t go away.

Calling a friend before and after work to vent helped curb my anxiety. It helped me understand myself more and forced me to confront my ineffective coping mechanisms and derailing mental health. It is also what encouraged me to schedule my first therapy appointment, which has brought dramatic improvements in my health, mindset, and life.

2. “Sucking It Up” Doesn’t Mean Resilience

Although I felt relieved after quitting, I was consumed by guilt and anxiety, criticizing myself that I was pathetic and couldn’t just “suck it up.” I later realized that was the catch though: I had “sucked it up” for so long that I finally exploded because I was ignoring the real issue.

How could I care for others if I could not care for myself?

While work drained me of energy, anxiety kept me from practicing self-love and care. It felt like my whole life revolved around work, but I had to keep “sucking it up” to find the energy to cook for myself or even take a shower.

Being truthful to myself about the work I am capable of and my emotions surrounding work is the most resilient action of self-love. I now think of myself as my own patient. If I wouldn’t tell my patients–or better yet, my family, friends, and loved ones–to return to something that harmed their health, then what excuse do I have for myself?

Anxiety, depression, Self Love
A woman wide awake in bed

3. Set Aside Time for What You Love

When I found the space to pursue writing and integrate it into my life with my current nursing job, I started to feel whole again. I began blocking off time for myself, such as reading before my shift or taking bubble baths after work. It helped structure my life and remind me that there are so many moments in a day to be happy.

Anything will grow if you give it the time and space, whether that’s unbearable anxiety or blossoming mental health. So find time for something that makes you feel present, happy, and brings you back to life.

A Pound Of Butter #motivation #inspiration

There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker. One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that he was not. This angered him and he took the farmer to court. The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure. The farmer replied, amour Honour, I am primitive. I don’t have a proper measure, but I do have a scale.” The judge asked, “Then how do you weigh the butter?” The farmer replied “Your Honour, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him. Every day when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker.”

What is the moral lesson of the story? We get back in life what we give to others. Whenever you take an action, ask yourself this question: Am I giving fair value for the wages or money I hope to make? Honesty and dishonesty become a habit. Some people practice dishonesty and can lie with a straight face. Others lie so much that they don’t even know what the truth is anymore. But who are they deceiving? Themselves