Don’t Feel Guilty For Doing What’s Best For Yourself

This is a guest post.

Don’t feel guilty for cutting toxic people out of your life. Even if you love them, even if you had wonderful times with them in the past, you have to do what’s right for yourself today. Remember, even though you might be the person ending the relationship, you’re not the reason this has to happen. They brought it onto themselves. It’s their fault. Not yours. You have to do what is best for yourself. You have to put yourself first, even when it hurts.

Don’t feel guilty for putting yourself first, especially when it comes to your mental health. You’re allowed to be selfish. You’re allowed to make decisions that benefit you, even if they upset the people around you. It doesn’t matter if anyone else understands or respects your decision. All that matters is that you care about yourself enough to do what is best for yourself. You should never sacrifice your mental health for anyone else. After all, if they really cared about you, they would encourage you to do whatever you need to do.

Don’t feel guilty for disappointing other people, even the people you love. You can’t make career choices, relationship choices, or any general life choices based on what your parent or partner wants from you. You need to do what brings you the most happiness. There’s no reason to make them happy if it means making yourself miserable. When it comes to your life, your emotions and your opinions are the most important.

Don’t feel guilty for causing conflict. If someone upsets you, you don’t have to pretend everything is fine to keep the peace. You don’t have to act polite when someone is completely disrespecting you. You’re allowed to speak your mind and say what’s wrong. You’re allowed to call people out when they cross an unforgivable line. You shouldn’t feel pressured to stay quiet when you’re suffering on the inside.

Don’t feel guilty about saying no when your plate is full. Even though you have a kind heart, you can’t help everyone who asks for a hand. You don’t want to burn yourself out to please someone else. Sometimes, you need to let others down. Sometimes, you need to do what makes the most sense for you instead of running around, trying to entertain everyone else.

Remember, you’re allowed to be selfish, but this doesn’t mean you need to walk around, only caring about yourself. This doesn’t mean you should say and do whatever you want without any regard for the people around you. This doesn’t mean you’re allowed to disrespect your family and friends. It only means that you shouldn’t let people walk over you. You shouldn’t let others make your decisions for you. You shouldn’t assume family members and friends know you better than you know yourself.

Don’t feel guilty for doing what’s best for yourself. Don’t hesitate to do what makes you the happiest because, at the end of the day, you’re the only person you can rely on.

Guest: Holly Riordan

Image source: Adobe stock

Tackle Your Challenges By Yourself With The Guidance Of God

Hey guys!

Am sure you’ve heard the story of the butterfly. Well, it is a good inspirational story for starting your Monday morning.

Once upon a time, a man found a butterfly that was starting to hatch from its cocoon. He sat down and watched the butterfly for hours as it struggled to force itself through a tiny hole. Then, it suddenly stopped making progress and looked like it was stuck.

Therefore, the man decided to help the butterfly out. He took a pair of scissors and cut off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily, although it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man thought nothing of it, and he sat there waiting for the wings to enlarge to support the butterfly. However, that never happened. The butterfly spent the rest of its life unable to fly, crawling around with small wings and a swollen body.

Despite the man’s kind heart, he didn’t understand that the restricting cocoon and the struggle needed by the butterfly to get itself through the small hole were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings to prepare itself for flying once it was free.

Moral of the story: Our struggles in life help to develop our strengths. Without struggles, we never grow and get stronger, so it’s important for us to tackle challenges on our own, and not rely on help from others all the time.

Have a inspiring week.

What Is Motivation And How To Get Motivated

photo of woman climbing mountain

What is Motivation?

Motivation is the force that compels you to stick with your goals and achieve them. It’s the desire to run a marathon, excel at your job, and lose weight. Without motivation, you wouldn’t have any inclination to pursue greatness. Your basic motivations must first be met before you can start working towards improving the finer aspects of your life.

Once you’ve taken care of the basics, you’ll be ready to take on your higher purpose. Some will have a hard time sticking to their goals if they lack the passion behind their motivation. When your thoughts, goals, and actions are all in line, you’ll see yourself crossing the finish line before you know it.

The most important step is putting purpose and passion behind your motivation. That’s why you need to ask yourself:

“What goal is important enough to me, right now, that I can put my mind, body, and soul behind it?”

The Importance of Motivation

Finding and building motivation is vital as it will allow you to:

  • Change your habits
  • Become the best you
  • Set achievable goals
  • Learn how to manage time
  • Build skills and talents
  • Improve your mental health

Motivation has an exponential effect. In the beginning, it can be difficult to stick with your goals. When you’ve made it past the initial pain period, you’re more likely to keep working towards the finish line. You’ll find that in those moments it allows you to:

  • Adapt to a fast-paced, ever-changing environment
  • Function productively
  • Build courage and character
  • Increase your internal drive

Motivation is also linked with our physical and mental health. When we lack motivation, our well-being will diminish. Our basic needs will stop being met and our mind and body will suffer because of it.

You need to have the motivation to go to the gym and work out. You need to have the motivation to be a good parent, partner, and friend. When we start to become less motivated in simple tasks like cleaning our room, this has a butterfly effect that can negatively affect our well-being.

It’s for these reasons why you need to find your motivational drive. It’s a crucial aspect to living a Full Life and achieving happiness, success, and more.

Why Is It Difficult to Stay Motivated?

The tricky part about motivation is not starting, but staying motivated. Every New Year, thousands decide they’re going to change their lives. Fewer than 10 percent actually stick with their resolution, and that’s being generous. Below you’ll find many common reasons why you’re losing motivation.

Not Aiming High Enough

While it’s easy to think setting easy goals will keep you motivated, it may harm your long-term motivation. If you make goals that are too achievable, you’ll get bored and lose interest. Ideally, you want to strike a balance between pushing yourself and creating realistic goals.

If you’re used to staying within your comfort zone, you’ll be missing out on the satisfaction of achieving a life-changing goal. When you push yourself, you’ll be able to build unshakable confidence as you crush goal after goal. When you look around one day and you’re living your dream, it’ll all be worth it.

Here are 7 Reasons to Dare to Dream Big.

Suffering From Procrastination

If you find it hard to stay focused and get started, you’ll find yourself falling behind.

Procrastination is a bad habit that you must learn to deal with if you want to achieve your short-term goals. Some simple steps you can take to defeat procrastination are: commit to starting a task for at least 3 minutes, create daily, weekly, and monthly to-do lists; and reward yourself when you complete your tasks.

Unclear Vision

Uncertainty about the future is a fear that many of us deal with. It can be paralyzing, instead of taking action, we start worrying about “What if?”

“What if it doesn’t work out? What if my dream isn’t truly my dream? What if I don’t succeed?”

If you have trouble creating a vision, then you’re at risk of drifting aimlessly through life. When you find your purpose and passion, you’ll be driven to strive for excellence. You can start the process of discovering your life purpose by asking yourself: “What would my ideal life look like?”

This is how to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

Letting Fear Control Your Mind And Actions

Fear can prevent you from achieving your dreams. Instead of taking action and moving forward, you might be finding yourself apprehensive due to the fear of failure.

You mustn’t allow fear to hold you back. You’ll inevitably miss out on career, relationship, and self-improvement opportunities if you don’t learn how to manage your fears. Fortunately, fear can be overcome.

One way to manage fear is to look for the root cause of your fear. With deep introspection, you can uncover the exact moment that triggered the fear that has been hindering your growth. This will give you a window of opportunity to communicate with your inner being and find release.

Facing your fear is the only way you’ll be able to become the best version of yourself. You don’t need to fix your problem overnight, but taking slow, thoughtful actions can have massive impacts on how you deal with your inside and outside world.

Feeling Overwhelmed With Work and Responsibilities

Otherwise known as burnout, it places you into a state of depression from overexertion and you struggle to achieve your goals. Burning out occurs when we put our well-being on the back burner to further ourselves in our careers or hobbies.

When we feel overwhelmed and forget about ourselves, it becomes a challenge to unwind and find balance in life. Burning out is a sign that you’re motivated, but you need to learn how to separate work and home life. Without this separation, the lines begin to blur and you may find it increasingly difficult to find motivation for yourself when you’re constantly wiped out from work.

Getting and staying motivated will make an immense difference in your life. You’ll be able to tackle those goals and dreams that you’ve put aside for years. You’ll also be able to set yourself new and exciting goals that you would never have considered before.

Stay motivated always!

Guest post from Life Hack.

At The End Of The Day, God Will Always Be The Sour

At the end of the day, God will always be the source of my strength. He’ll always be the source of hope that gets me through the toughest times. He’ll always be the source of courage that makes me want to get up in the morning and try again or try harder. He’ll always be the source of light when the road is dark and unclear.

At the end of the day, God will always be the source of my optimism because I have faith in him. I have faith in his plans and his justice. I have faith in his lessons and his timing. I have faith in his losses and his blessings. I have faith in his guidance and in the path he chose for me. I have faith in his mercy and in his miracles. I have faith in him because every time I lost hope, he blessed me with something to be grateful for and every time I thought he was punishing me, he was actually releasing me from a poisonous cycle. And every time I felt dead inside, he brought me back to life.

At the end of the day, God will always be the source of my comfort. I find comfort in my work and with the people I love but I know that everything can change in the blink of an eye. I know that no matter how solid everything seems, it can easily dissolve except for him. He’s the only constant in my life. He’s the only one I can lean on without the fear that he’d change or let me down. At the end of the day, God will always be the reason behind every success and every achievement and every obstacle I overcome.

At the end of the day, God will always be the source of my happiness. When he listens to my prayers and answers them. When he redirects me to an even better destination than the one I had in mind. When he pushes me to bring out my talent or my strength or my resilience every time I’m close to giving up. When he nudges me to wake up and walk away from toxic people. When he helps me detach from the things that are not meant for me.

At the end of the day, God will always be the source of my strength because he’s the only one who hears my most terrifying thoughts and calms me down and he’s the only one who reads my mind and knows what’s in my heart and somehow eases them.

At the end of the day, God is always with me through the darkest and most painful times, I know he won’t abandon me and that gives me all the strength I need to power through and it makes me unafraid of falling down because he will always be right there to pick me up.

Please feel free to share with your audience.

The Happiness You Seek May Not Present Itself The Way You Had Anticipated

Who can relate?

Since happiness can come in many forms, such as joy, fulfillment, contentment, euphoria, etc. It can sometimes be difficult to see when you have accomplished your goal of being happy.

If this sounds strange, then look at it this way.

If you had imagined that to be really happy you would need to be retired, with an excellent pension, so that you have both the time and money to do things you enjoy, then it can come as a surprise to find that if you simply reorganise your working week, go part-time and prioritize your hobbies, you are already nearly there!

The reason for this is that you had anticipated needing time and wealth in order to be happy, when what you actually needed was time and the ability to reallocate your resources. Furthermore, you may have expected that you would need to retire in order to free up your time when in fact cutting down on your working hours, or working from home part of the week can also accomplish the same thing.

Necessarily, if you are willing to encompass happiness in whatever form it may present itself, and even to enjoy it in different forms according to the occasion., then you are likely to lie low in far more places than you imagined, just waiting to be unearthed and enjoyed. Don’t forget that the journey can provide happiness along the way too, so try to get into the habit of enjoying what you have, at each point along the way.

NB: Happiness can both be subjective and elusive, but it can also be found in the most unlikely places, and on a daily basis.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Today’s Nugget: Get Real

Hey guys!

Everything I post on this platform is a true life experience and story I share. Even in the midst of the storm, I still try to keep myself positive and also share with others how we can all overcome anger, disappointment, and challenges.

Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life.

We must accept that you might fail when you try your best and still don’t win, at least you can be satisfied that you’ve tried. If you don’t accept failure as a possibility, you don’t set high goals, you don’t branch out, you don’t try- you don’t take the risk.

Be realistic about what you can do and what you can’t do. So whatever you do must really worth it.

Credit to: Queen Latifah, Rosalynn Carter, and Marilu Henner.

True Story: Battling Addiction is a Life-Long and Difficult Struggle- Ben Affleck

silhouette of man standing on mountain peak

We all have that one thing we are addicted to. No addiction is small nor big. So far, it affects us one way or the other, it is bad. Addiction can take a lot from us but it’s best we find a solution and try to quit the habit. It is not an easy ride but eventually, it is worth the battle.

Ben Affleck is a Hollywood superstar. Ben Affleck’s life story is a motivational one for all the people fighting their addiction. He understands the difficult struggle, a dedicated person goes through to get rid of their addiction. Ben Affleck’s life story with his wife Jennifer garner can be an inspiration for you and might light a spark in you to change and improve your life for the better.

It is hard for one to put up with an addicted person. But it takes courage and support to help them mentally and physically. Ben Affleck’s ex-wife Jennifer watched him suffer for 13 years. She reportedly seemed visibly shaken after meeting with Affleck.

His drinking problem had become life or death. They have really worked on their marriage and they just couldn’t do it anymore. These words spread all around.

I never thought I was going to get divorced. I didn’t want to get divorced. I really did not want to be a split family. It was quite upsetting because it meant I wasn’t who I thought I was, and that was so disappointing and so painful, and people’s reaction about am I serious about my recovery? was absolute not. They advised Jenn to set her boundaries.  I really don’t want my children to pay for what I did. You’re trying to do right by your kids and you’re trying to protect them. You could tell you still love her when you just talked about her- Ben

Jennifer supported me in every step. “You know It’s bad enough absolutely. It’s hard enough.” Jennifer to the paparazzi.

Jennifer always wanted to raise a happy family like her parents. How could she give their kids that feeling and freedom and joy? but after her first marriage fell apart, Jennifer thought she’d missed her chance.

So, when Jennifer fell for Ben Affleck, she finally got her second chance at true love and when they got married a year later, Jennifer vowed she would make it work no matter what. How things are going mommyhood is going. It’s like the most, it just gets better and better for the next decade, Jennifer and Ben were Hollywood’s IT couple. Jennifer helped Ben clean up his playboy image and focus on his work. Ben Affleck, Argo.

I, always and still thank my wife for being the reason I’m standing here, I adore her, I love her so much. She is my everything. I thank her for working on our marriage for 10 Christmases. It’s work, but it is the best kind of work and there’s no one other than Jennifer, I’d rather work with. They looked like the picture-perfect family on the outside but ben’s long battle with sobriety had taken a dark turn.

Jennifer tried desperately to cling to the broken marriage, but it was too late.

In 2015, the couple announced their separation.

She realized, “I can’t go down this rabbit hole.” She just shut it all out. I was like “you don’t care about me, how could you not care for us?” she’s like, “no, actually it’s the opposite. I care too much, it’s too painful.”

But little did we know, it was about to get much worse. what was the hardest thing for you to be honest with yourself about? That I was going to get divorced. I never thought I was going to get divorced, and I didn’t want to get divorced. I didn’t want to be the worst person,  I really didn’t want to be a split family.

The collapse of his marriage sent Ben down a dangerous path he was spotted receiving what looked like delivery of beer and whiskey at his home. It quite upsetting for me because it meant I wasn’t who I thought I was, and that was so painful and so disappointing.

Still feeling responsible, Jennifer rushed to Ben’s side Jennifer refused to give up on Ben because she knew her children needed their father.

You can’t buy parenting, you have to get down on the floor and play. Even if you’re a super busy mom or dad, you have to find time for your kids. She lost the dream of dancing with me at our daughter’s wedding, and if you see your kids love someone so purely and wholly then you’re going to be friends with that person.

But no matter how hard she tried, Jennifer couldn’t fix it. I was totally manipulating the rehab. 8:30 this morning I left the treatment center to play a 3 hour game of basketball. Garner reportedly seemed visibly shaken after meeting with me.

After sticking by me for 13 years, Jennifer finally had to let go and that turned out to be exactly what I needed to stand on my own. I really don’t want my children to pay for what I had done. Or to be afraid for me.

I don’t really have a choice. I have to be the man I want to be at this point. I don’t have any more room for failure of that kind.

Without Jennifer to lean on, I was forced to take responsibility. There are things that I would love to go back and change. I have regrets. I’ve made plenty of mistakes, some big, some small.

Once I had finally accepted my past, I could focus on my future:

Becoming the man Jennifer always believed I could be. I took the last half of the year off and I just got to be a dad. Drive them to school, pick them up, go to the swim meet, that’s where the parenting happens. It’s in the cracks, it’s in the moments where you’re just taking them back from soccer and they say something profound or they talk about how they’re really feeling about something. That’s the joy of it and that’s what I don’t want to miss.

Today, I continue to work on myself while putting my children before anything else and Jennifer may not have the marriage she always dreamed of but her children have the parents they need.

Addiction has its consequences that affect people around us.

The story ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner shows us that everyone makes mistakes but when you’re a parent, nothing comes before the safety and happiness of your children.

If you can just have faith in who you are and who they are as people, it’s so beautiful when you see it starting to come out.  you could tell you still love her when you just talked about her. Of course, she’s wonderful. you know, somebody who’s the mother of your kids, they’re going to be the most important central person in your life. That’s really admirable how you and Ben Affleck have both, it’s all about children first and being a team.

It has to be.

NB: Don’t get addicted to things. If you see a sign at an early stage, please try to prevent it. If not, it becomes a struggle. Everyone has one.

Don’t judge, be the solution.

Learn To Sit Back And Observe

Hey guys!

This topic is not new to most of you but dropping this year as a reminder.

In life, we need to learn to sit back and observe things. Not everything needs a reaction all the time.
You will meet someone tomorrow who has better intentions for you than someone you’ve known forever. Time means nothing, character does.

Character is everything in life. A bad character is like a foul smell that leaves a stench everywhere you go and you can’t go far with it. Practice being yourself and you will realize how beautiful you are. Trying to be someone else will only make you ugly.
Getting no message is also a message.

Trust in the Lord and His word. He cannot disappoint you. It’s not in His nature.

Walk with God and you’ll never be alone.

Peace and Love 🙏❤️😇

Be Grateful For Setbacks

Setbacks, while never enjoyable experiences in their own right, can nevertheless offer some important opportunities, and if appropriately managed can lead to improved happiness. They can, for instance, provide opportunities to revise your plans for happiness and fulfillment in your life, to take stock and to see if you are heading in the right direction, or whether things need to change; and if they do, a setback might provide the impetus to making things happen.

At the very least, a setback should create a hiatus sufficient to get things underway. If you’re having problems in any area of your life, a setback can be seen as an opportunity to take a new and inspiring approach to finding a solution and, used correctly, it can create new routes to happiness. Setbavks can also offer new ways to grow, providing the opportunity to try new things, creating the space for new exploration and discovery, as well as building character. It is also in such times that you will find out who your real friends are. This can be harsh to discover, but it does atleast give you the opportunity to rid yourself of anyone who is not a positive influence in your life, and to create new relationships and friends with people who are. Whatever the setback, a positive attitude and a robust response will give you an opportunity to come back even stronger than before, and to prove to yourself that you can do so.

NB: Nobody prays for a setback in life, life just take its course.

Inspired by Matt Avery.

A Reminder: Don’t Be a Slave to your Dreams

Sometimes you are obsessed with what you think your life would be like if you had all the things you wished you had. Instead of enjoying your life as it is, even if it is not comfortable. But surely things will change because the situation is not permanent.

NB: Even though you do not know if achieving them would in fact make you any happier than you are now. Rather than living in the present, and enjoying it to the full, you are using your vision of how much better you think your life would be, as a form of defence, so that you don’t have to face the reality of life.

I am guilty of this most times and sure you can relate also.

You are keeping the real world at a distance, by pretending that is only temporary for you, that at any time your life will change and your prayers will be answered. But if you stop chasing your impossible dreams, and focus on your life as it really is, you will find that you already have everything you need to be completely happy.

In essence, stop chasing your tail.

Instead Of Focusing On Finding Something You Think Will Make You Happy, You Should Focus On Bettering Yourself

Bettering yourself doesn’t mean you’re broken. It doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you that needs fixing. It doesn’t mean you should be embarrassed or ashamed of yourself.

Bettering yourself simply means you’re going to put in the work to take care of yourself. It means, instead of pouring all of your effort into impressing other people, you’re pouring effort into making yourself happy.

Bettering yourself is going to raise your confidence. It’s going to encourage you to love yourself. It’s going to make you realize that whether or not you’re part of a couple has no correlation to your value. You’re worth the same amount as a single woman as you are as an engaged woman or a married woman. Your value doesn’t ebb and flow based on your relationship status.
Bettering yourself is going to encourage your growth. It’s going to inspire change. It’s going to push you to break your worst habits and develop healthier ones. It’s going to shape you into the type of person you can say you’re proud of, the type of person you can say you love.
Bettering yourself is going to help you heal, help you move forward, help you forget about the bad things that happened in the past and look forward to the good things that are bound to happen in the future. It will make you more excited for what’s to come, about what you could accomplish, about what the world has in store for you.

Bettering yourself is never done. It’s going to be a lifelong experience, so you’re going to have to stay dedicated, stay inspired, stay hopeful in yourself.

You can never go wrong with bettering yourself. In the process, you might even find the love you’ve been hoping to find. But if not, if you stay single for a while longer, then you’re not going to sweat it. You’re still going to be happy because you know a relationship doesn’t define you. You know a relationship isn’t the beginning or the end of the world. You know the one person who matters more than the future love of your life is yourself.

Your Insecurities Are Loudest In Your Own Mind

Every morning, you probably stare in the mirror longer than you should, worried something about your makeup isn’t right, worried a hair is out of place, worried you’re going to make a fool of yourself if you step out of the house looking like you do.

You probably do the same thing with social media. Before you post a picture, you probably examine every inch of your body, on the search for flaws. But no one else is going to sit there and stare at your photo for as long as you have (unless they like you and are thinking about how adorable you look).

Either way, no one else is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. No one is thinking the same harsh things you think about yourself. The rest of the world sees you differently than you see yourself. You’re not wearing the same set of lenses.

Even though you might feel like the rest of the world is looking down on you, your insecurities are the loudest in your own mind. The worst possible thing anyone could say about you has already been said by the voice in the back of your head. In a way, that’s a good thing, because it means no one else is judging you as harshly as you think they are.

However, in some ways, it’s also a horrible thing. You don’t want to play the role of your own worst enemy. You don’t want to hate yourself over a few tiny flaws when there are a million different things to love about yourself.

Even though it’s much harder to be kind to the person in the mirror than it is to be kind to others, you want to start learning how to treat yourself with love and compassion, with admiration and respect. You want to start treating yourself the way you treat your loved ones.

No, you’re not perfect — but no one is perfect. Everyone, even the person you consider the most beautiful woman in the world, has things they’re insecure about. You’re perfectly normal for feeling self-conscious. You’re allowed to be uncomfortable with certain aspects of yourself. But you shouldn’t let that discomfort turn into self-hatred. You shouldn’t punish yourself for being yourself.

You’re more beautiful than you believe, on the inside and the outside. It might take you a while to see that, but you’re going to get there as long as you put in the effort.

Stop assuming everyone is judging you. Stop assuming everyone is thinking the absolute worst about you. Even more importantly, stop thinking the worst about yourself. Stop treating yourself like a punching bag. Stop acting like you have nothing to offer this world. Stop doubting yourself. Stop selling yourself short. Stop practicing self-hatred when you should be practicing self-love.

Your insecurities aren’t as noticeable as you think. Even if someone else sees the same ‘flaw’ you see, they aren’t going to dwell on it. It’s not going to make a difference in their life. They aren’t going to give a hoot.

Much credit to Holly Riordan

You’re Not Supposed To Have Every Answer, So Stop Trying To Race To The Finish Line

Guest post.

You are not supposed to know everything right now.

You are not supposed to have every goal achieved and every decision made as quickly as you can.

You are not meant to race to the finish line of your life.

There is a pace to life that we have to honor. We cannot cut to the end of the story, we cannot demand it all at once, and we should not stress that we have not hit every milestone as early as possible.

There is a pace to life, and when we begin to see that there is a unique timing for everything, we begin to trust it more than we doubt it.

Sometimes, things don’t happen the moment we want them to because we are just not ready yet.

Sometimes, we have to learn how to handle little bits of success, so we are ready when they become massive. Sometimes, we have to learn to be okay by ourselves first, so we don’t ruin a relationship with unhealthy attachment. Sometimes, we have to learn to handle little criticisms here and there, so we’re ready when life takes off and people are really watching.

Sometimes, we just have more growing to do than we realize, and life always honors that — even if it lets you down in the moment. Just because you aren’t going as quickly as you thought does not mean you aren’t on your way.

There is no virtue to peaking too young. There is no real ambition that should culminate immediately after you’ve conceived of it. The real work is a lifelong commitment to excellence and the pursuit of a strong foundation, and a thriving soul.

You do not need to know everything that is in front of you yet.

When you set out on a road trip at night, you don’t expect your headlights to shine all the way through the darkness, miles and miles ahead of you, straight to your destination. All you can see is what is directly ahead of you, and that’s all you need to see. If you keep taking the next right step, you will arrive.

This is true even if you run into a roadblock along the way. You wouldn’t turn your car around because you couldn’t pass. You’d find another road. The same is true of your life journey.

Right now, you don’t feel lost because you actually have no idea where your life is going. You feel lost because you’re in transition. You have planted, or maybe sprouted, but not yet bloomed.

But you do not expect a bud to bloom on command. You bury its seed deeply, water it and give it light — and then you let it do what it was created to do, in its own time.

You are the exact same way.

Keep stepping forward. Take one right step, and then the next one. You do not have to have all the answers, you do not need to be your most perfect self right at this exact moment in time.

Sometimes, the growth process brings us somewhere unexpected, better than we conceived of originally. Sometimes, it delivers us right where we always wanted to be, as the people who are ready to step into the life we’ve been getting ready for.

The path is the process.

Trust it.

Credit: Brianna Weist

How To Stop Being So Lazy: 8 Simple Habits

“How soon ‘not now’ becomes ‘never’.” – Martin Luther

When I was younger, in my early twenties, I was often lazy.

Too often actually.

And so I didn’t:

Years later I still love lazying around and not doing much at all.

But I’ve also learned how to keep that lazy time to a moderate and healthy amount instead of letting it hold me back and stuck in the same place of excuses for years like it used to.

This week I’d like to share 10 simple habits that have helped me to make that change.
To stop being so lazy and get what really matters done by working smarter. While still having room for guilt-free lazy time to spend as I like.

1. Be kind to yourself.

When you feel that you’ve perhaps been too lazy lately it’s common and tempting to beat yourself up about it and to hope that will lead you to start taking action.

Sometimes it does. But I have found that beating yourself up most often just leads to feeling guiltier and like a failure.

And so you feel less motivated to get going and you procrastinate because there seems to be little point in even trying.

Instead of getting stuck in that self-esteem sucking place I recommend to gently nudge yourself towards the next tip in this article whenever you feel like you want to beat yourself up.

2. Start with just a small step forward.

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The hardest thing is often to simply get started.

So make that as easy as you can to reduce the inner resistance and to actually take action. Start with just taking a small step forward:

  • Go out running for only 3 minutes.
  • Do the dishes for 5 minutes.
  • Write on that report you’ve been procrastinating on for 10 minutes.

I use this habit almost every day in some way.

3. Do a small part of what matters most first thing in your day.

To feel like you can enjoy your lazy/rest time fully and without guilt it’s important to actually get what truly matters in the long run done each week.

So start your day with that. But make it easy on yourself by breaking down that task into smaller steps and then focus on just the first one.

Get on it right away to get into an effective and focused mindset.

By doing so you set a good tone for your day. You get that quick 5-10 minute win in first thing and you’ll be a lot more motivated to keep going on that path during the rest of your day.

Instead of starting with busy work like checking emails – this may be vital to do first thing for some but for many it’s probably not – or checking Facebook etc. and then 30 minutes later getting started with today’s work.

4. Cycle fully focused work with small breaks of rest/lazy time.

To lighten up your daily work inject small breaks between doing short but focused burst of work.

Say to yourself: I’ll do 20 minutes of work on this task now and then I can take 5 or 10 minutes of lazy time.

By breaking down your hours like this the work seems less daunting.

And you’ll feel energetic and motivated longer and do work of better quality if you allow yourself these pauses of rest and time to lazy around on Facebook, with a game or with just relaxing in the grass or with short walk in the park.

Then, after some time, you may want to work for 40 minutes before you take a 10 minute break. But go easy on yourself at first.

5. Shut down the escape routes temporarily.

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Just sitting down at for example your computer and trying to do fully focused work for 5 or 20 minutes may not result in any work of importance getting done.

Not if you don’t remove those things that you usually use to procrastinate.

So ask yourself: where do I usually escape to instead of doing my work?

For me it’s for example often my smart phone and checking my social media handles, or random internet browsing.

So I put my phone in silent mode and I put it at the other end of our home when I work. By setting up that small physical obstacle I avoid the phone trap maybe 95% of the time.

If you:

  • Have the same issue with gaming then put your controller far away in your home while working.
  • Escape to Facebook or other websites on your computer then block that for a little while by using for example StayFocusd.
  • Watch TV then pull out the cords to it. Or remove one of the cords completely and put it at the other end of your home.

6. Be OK with stumbling from time to time.

The fear of failure can hold you back in a state of doing easier things and in what you may see as being lazy.

But everyone that go for what they truly want and outside of their comfort zone stumbles and fails from time to time. That’s just a part of a life well lived (even if we don’t hear about people’s setbacks as often as their successes).

See a setback as a learning experience and as a way to be more constructive and kinder to yourself.

You can do that by asking yourself these two questions after you’ve stumbled:

  • What is that 1 thing I can learn from this situation?
  • How would my best friend/parent support me and help me in this situation? (Then talk to yourself and do things like she or he would).

7. Let the enthusiasm, energy and motivation of others in.

Whatever you let into your mind and life will influence you.

If the people you hang out the most with are generally a bit lazy about work or school then it’s easy to just adapt to that mood and way of thinking and go with it.

But if you spend more time with motivated people in real life and via books, the internet, podcasts and audio books then that will start to influence your thinking and mood too.

So think about what you let into your mind on a daily and weekly basis and if you want make a few changes to that.

8. Truly appreciate and enjoy your lazy time.

Time spent on just lazying around helps me to relax and recharge and it makes me happy.

But if I do it too much then it does become less healthy for me. It:

  • Starts to frustrate me because I’m not moving forward towards what I want.
  • Creates stress instead of relaxing me because I’m not getting what’s important done and that could have negative consequences quite soon.

Still, at a moderate amount spending some time on being lazy is truly beneficial for me.

And I’ve found that when you think a little about how you want to spend your lazy time – no matter if it’s a 10 minute break or a lazy Sunday – and use that time on something you really enjoy like reading a book you love rather than aimlessly watching TV-shows you’re just OK with then that time does not only brings more happiness and fulfillment.

I’ve also learned that when I spend my lazy time in this more conscious way I’m more motivated and energized to go back to work again later on.

So I make sure to appreciate and fully enjoy the lazy time I have and create for myself because I know that it will benefit me in several important ways.

Special appreciation to Henrik Edberg for this contributing piece.

Feel free to repost!!!

Understand That Sometimes, Successes Come Slowly

Sometimes, you won’t get the credit you feel like you deserve. Sometimes, you’re going to feel like all the hard work you’ve been putting into a project has been a waste because nobody has been around to pat you on the back or remind you what a good job you’ve been doing.

But you don’t need validation from anyone else in order to feel proud of yourself. Stop waiting around for other people to realize your value and start rewarding yourself. When you accomplish one of your goals, reward yourself with a bottle of wine or ice cream or making your favourite coffee. Make sure that, even if the rest of the world can’t see what a good job you’ve been doing, you recognize it yourself.

Sometimes, you’re not going to get the reaction you were hoping for from your friends, family, coworkers, and kids you used to know in school. Sometimes, you’re not going to impress the people you’ve been hoping to impress. Sometimes, you’re going to live through your successes quietly. That’s why you shouldn’t do anything for the sake of fitting in or looking cool. You should be doing things because they’re what you want to do, because they make you happy, because you can’t imagine having more fun doing anything else.

Sometimes, you’re not going to see all of your hard work pay off in a short amount of time. Sometimes, you’re going to have to wait. Sometimes, you’re going to have to stay patient. Some successes take longer than others. You’re not always going to see results overnight. Sometimes, you’re going to have to wait years for your effort to pay off — and that whole time, you’re going to have to keep faith in yourself. You’re going to have to hold onto the hope that you can do this, that you’re going to reach your destination eventually.

Sometimes, you’re to experience jealousy. You’re going to wonder why your friends are so much further ahead in their careers and relationships than you. You’re going to wonder why your bosses give more credit to other workers than you. You’re going to wonder why you haven’t reached your goals yet when other people who have been trying for shorter lengths of time are already ahead of you.

But you can never allow your jealousy to turn into mean-spiritedness. You have to stop thinking of others as your competitors and start thinking of them as your inspirations. You have to be happy for them. You have to remember that their successes are not your failures. Your journey has nothing to do with their journey.

Sometimes, your confidence is going to crash. Sometimes, you’re going to doubt your own abilities. Sometimes, you’re going to flirt with the idea of giving up. But you can never allow yourself to quit on the things that mean the most to you. You have to stay passionate, stay motivated, stay inspired, stay strong. You have to remind yourself you can do this.