This Is Me Trying

I am far from complete. I am an unfinished manuscript, collecting dust on a forgotten shelf. I am merely half a canvas, splattered paint that is yet to be a masterpiece. And that’s okay with me. Why would I want to be complete? That would mean the world was done with me.

I have not been sculpted to perfection yet, my fine details are still to be sketched. I would not want to rush the process of perfection, I do not wish for my metamorphosis to be instantaneous.

I want the world to take its time with me. Mold my soul with patience and attentiveness, Lead me to walk through darkness when I am convinced there is no light. Teach me lessons that will shape me into the final version of who I am to be.

I care very little for immediate perfection. I know that society is obsessed with getting it right from the start and I am sorry if I come across as self-righteous, but you’re wrong.

Life is about living. Living is about trying. Trying and learning; never failing. Failing suggests that nothing came of it. There is always a purpose, always a lesson to be learned. This obsession with perfection will only cause you pain; I speak from experience. I, too, wanted everything, now. I almost demanded it, trying to manifest it at my feet. But that is not how this works. If you believe that is the unquestionable truth, you will not live. Seeing lessons as failures will only fill your life with frustration and misery. Perfection is only attainable when our manuscripts are complete. Perfection is within that finished masterpiece.

To live is to try. Those lessons you see as imperfections, they are the words that fill your manuscripts and the brush strokes that create your masterpiece. Trying is the meaning of life. Because we are human. Humans are not perfect. We are never always right and mistakes are what make us individuals.

Your soul is a constellation of imperfections. Imperfections that resulted from a lifetime of trying.

And maybe perfection is not attainable when we reach our conclusions; not in the way you believe perfection to be. Perfection is when you have learned and absorbed every possible thing that life had to offer you. Perfection is closing your eyes for the final time, accumulating every imperfection you collected over the years. Perfection is having spent a lifetime trying.

This is me being dedicated to trying. Trying to learn from those sweet imperfections I am committed to loving. This is me trying to enjoy the process of my chapters being written. This is me trying to live.

Source: Dakota Geduld

Image Credit: Adobe Stock

Goodbye To Perfection

Growing up, I have always tried to be this “perfect” embodiment of what I believed a good, morally upstanding person should be. I have come a long way from that insecure, control-freak of a person I used to be. Here’s the truth: we are not really in control, anyway.

Unfortunately, this was the start of placing heavy burdens on myself that would later lead to even more far-fetched goals and inevitable disappointments. Disappointment in myself, in others, and even in myself for other’s choices, which I had felt responsible over. There is this saying,We are not responsible for people, we are responsible to people.

Why Worry?

Fortunately, I have come a long way from that insecure, control-freak of a person I used to be. Here’s the truth: we are not really in control, anyway. So why worry about things that you cannot really control?

The English word worry actually has its roots in the word “strangle,” which is one of the most powerful descriptions of what worry does to you – it strangles the life out of you.”

Recently, I have been trying to be more invested in my blog and other business idea I have, trying harder and learning more. Yet, the other day I had a call from a client, who just found fault with a job I did. I was discouraged, and I must admit that I was disappointed in myself. Yet, after a while, I started encouraging myself and reminding myself that this is not the truth of who I am. My identity does not lie in the approval of others, it lies in the truth of who God says I am.

Once, I read an article by Andrew Wommack, that also really helped, where he said, The same is true with the heart. If we take our eyes off Jesus and focus on the evil of this world and our circumstances, then, little by little, the layers of negativity harden around our hearts, and the love for God and others waxes cold.”[i]

Our Identity Is in Him

I read a post just like this a couple of weeks ago on my Facebook, and it was a great reminder for me today, “Don’t measure your worth or value based on the things that fluctuate and are conditional. Instead, find your value in the unconditional and consistent love of God.” There is only so much pleasure your job can bring you, or your relationships, or reruns of old TV shows. The ultimate pleasure is found in the Father. Your identity is based on your knowledge of Him.

So many times I have forgotten (when the disappointment hits) that my worth is found in Christ alone. The world’s standard is a high one, yet this is what Jesus says to us,

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 NKJV)

Perfect Rest in Him

So be encouraged today, no matter the burdens that the world tries to place on you or that you place on yourself, there is a rest that you can seek and find. In fact, God wants to give you rest, and He wants you to enjoy your life, every aspect of it.

Maybe we can start by letting go of the perception of a “perfect life.” Instead, we should embrace a “real life,” warts and all. As we focus on Jesus, instead of the problem/or its details, we will start walking on water and growing in our faith.

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