Don’t Feel Guilty For Doing What’s Best For Yourself

This is a guest post.

Don’t feel guilty for cutting toxic people out of your life. Even if you love them, even if you had wonderful times with them in the past, you have to do what’s right for yourself today. Remember, even though you might be the person ending the relationship, you’re not the reason this has to happen. They brought it onto themselves. It’s their fault. Not yours. You have to do what is best for yourself. You have to put yourself first, even when it hurts.

Don’t feel guilty for putting yourself first, especially when it comes to your mental health. You’re allowed to be selfish. You’re allowed to make decisions that benefit you, even if they upset the people around you. It doesn’t matter if anyone else understands or respects your decision. All that matters is that you care about yourself enough to do what is best for yourself. You should never sacrifice your mental health for anyone else. After all, if they really cared about you, they would encourage you to do whatever you need to do.

Don’t feel guilty for disappointing other people, even the people you love. You can’t make career choices, relationship choices, or any general life choices based on what your parent or partner wants from you. You need to do what brings you the most happiness. There’s no reason to make them happy if it means making yourself miserable. When it comes to your life, your emotions and your opinions are the most important.

Don’t feel guilty for causing conflict. If someone upsets you, you don’t have to pretend everything is fine to keep the peace. You don’t have to act polite when someone is completely disrespecting you. You’re allowed to speak your mind and say what’s wrong. You’re allowed to call people out when they cross an unforgivable line. You shouldn’t feel pressured to stay quiet when you’re suffering on the inside.

Don’t feel guilty about saying no when your plate is full. Even though you have a kind heart, you can’t help everyone who asks for a hand. You don’t want to burn yourself out to please someone else. Sometimes, you need to let others down. Sometimes, you need to do what makes the most sense for you instead of running around, trying to entertain everyone else.

Remember, you’re allowed to be selfish, but this doesn’t mean you need to walk around, only caring about yourself. This doesn’t mean you should say and do whatever you want without any regard for the people around you. This doesn’t mean you’re allowed to disrespect your family and friends. It only means that you shouldn’t let people walk over you. You shouldn’t let others make your decisions for you. You shouldn’t assume family members and friends know you better than you know yourself.

Don’t feel guilty for doing what’s best for yourself. Don’t hesitate to do what makes you the happiest because, at the end of the day, you’re the only person you can rely on.

Guest: Holly Riordan

Image source: Adobe stock

Instead Of Focusing On Finding Something You Think Will Make You Happy, You Should Focus On Bettering Yourself

Bettering yourself doesn’t mean you’re broken. It doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you that needs fixing. It doesn’t mean you should be embarrassed or ashamed of yourself.

Bettering yourself simply means you’re going to put in the work to take care of yourself. It means, instead of pouring all of your effort into impressing other people, you’re pouring effort into making yourself happy.

Bettering yourself is going to raise your confidence. It’s going to encourage you to love yourself. It’s going to make you realize that whether or not you’re part of a couple has no correlation to your value. You’re worth the same amount as a single woman as you are as an engaged woman or a married woman. Your value doesn’t ebb and flow based on your relationship status.
Bettering yourself is going to encourage your growth. It’s going to inspire change. It’s going to push you to break your worst habits and develop healthier ones. It’s going to shape you into the type of person you can say you’re proud of, the type of person you can say you love.
Bettering yourself is going to help you heal, help you move forward, help you forget about the bad things that happened in the past and look forward to the good things that are bound to happen in the future. It will make you more excited for what’s to come, about what you could accomplish, about what the world has in store for you.

Bettering yourself is never done. It’s going to be a lifelong experience, so you’re going to have to stay dedicated, stay inspired, stay hopeful in yourself.

You can never go wrong with bettering yourself. In the process, you might even find the love you’ve been hoping to find. But if not, if you stay single for a while longer, then you’re not going to sweat it. You’re still going to be happy because you know a relationship doesn’t define you. You know a relationship isn’t the beginning or the end of the world. You know the one person who matters more than the future love of your life is yourself.

Give Yourself Permission To Rest

You don’t want to agree to too many favors at once. You don’t want your to-do list to run a mile long. You don’t want to be overloaded by your responsibilities. You don’t want to burn yourself out.

Give yourself permission to rest. You shouldn’t feel like you always need to be on the go or you’re failing somehow. Not every single day is meant to be a productive day. Sometimes, the most productive thing you can do is give yourself a break. If you keep going, then you’re going to wear yourself down and then you aren’t going to be able to get anything done.

Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about having a good time. Don’t let anyone convince you it’s irresponsible to take a day off when you’ve been working nonstop for weeks, months, years. Your whole life isn’t supposed to revolve around work. You’re supposed to have fun too. You’re supposed to have a life outside of the office.

Don’t go too long without giving yourself a break — and don’t be too hard on yourself when you need to take that break. Don’t believe the lie that you are going to be unsuccessful because you aren’t working 24/7. You’re not lazy for spending an extra hour in bed. You’re not lazy for using your vacation days or your sick days. You’re not lazy for taking care of yourself.

Set boundaries. Create a strict separation between your home life and your work life. Don’t allow yourself to think about your to-do list during certain points of the day, whether that’s when you’re eating dinner with your family or when you’re getting drinks with your friends. Make sure when you’re around your loved ones, you’re present with them and actually paying attention to them. Make sure your mind is not wandering back to work.

Make sure you treat your mental health as a priority because it’s way too easy to let it slide. It’s way too easy to push your own needs to the background in order to focus on the things you feel are more important. It’s way too easy to neglect yourself when you should be pampering yourself.

Try not to think of downtime as a bad thing. Try to enjoy the moments when you aren’t doing anything except enjoying the silence. Try to retrain the way you think about doing nothing because it’s not actually a bad thing. It’s healthy to relax. It’s healthy to forget about your work for a while.

Give yourself permission to rest. Give yourself permission to pause. Give yourself permission to actually enjoy your life instead of spending every waking moment working.

Yes, you need money to pay the bills and yes, you need to put in a lot of effort if you want to succeed with your passions, but you also need to take breaks. You also need to make sure your mind stays sharp. You also need to prevent yourself from burning out.

The First Step To Self-Care Is Actually Giving A Shit About Yourself

Hey guys!I was amazed when I set my eyes on this write up. I have no other choice but to share it with you. It is a guest post from one of my role model and beautiful writer Holly Riordan 🙌🔥Please be patient when reading.

The first step to self-care is deciding you matter. You deserve to feel confident. You deserve to feel loved. You deserve to feel whole.

You have to stop telling yourself that it doesn’t matter what you do with your time because no one cares anyway. At the very least, you have to care. After all, you’re the only one who matters.

If other people aren’t paying attention to you, aren’t supporting you, aren’t loving you, that’s outside of your control. The only thing you can control is our own actions, your own thoughts, your own choices.

The first step to self-care is actually giving a shit. It’s deciding that you care about where your career is headed. You care about whether your friendships are stable. You care about what happens to your heart. You care about whether you get enough exercise that day, whether you eat enough that day, whether you take care of your hygiene that day. You care about yourself.

If you don’t care about yourself, if you continue to believe that you are worthless and aren’t going to make it so there’s no point in even trying, then you’re going to get caught in a self-destructive cycle. You’re never going to take a chance on yourself. You’re going to keep coming up with excuses to stay hidden inside your comfort zone. You’re never going to change.

It’s a pretty simple concept. If you don’t care about yourself, you’re not going to take good care of yourself. You’re going to stop trying. You’re going to let yourself waste away. And you cannot let that happen. You cannot forget your worth. You cannot treat yourself so unkindly.

Maybe you’re unable to love yourself right now because you’re distracted by your flaws. Or maybe you made a mistake you consider unforgivable and can’t stop thinking about the past. Or maybe you’re just in a toxic mindset right now.

If learning to love yourself sounds like too big of a leap from where you are right now, you can start by learning to give a shit about yourself.

You don’t have to love your body yet, but you should give a shit about keeping it clean and healthy. You don’t have to love your job yet, but you should give a shit about whether you’re doing the right thing at work. You don’t have to love your life yet, but you should give a shit about continuing it, strengthening it, bettering it.

It’s not going to be easy to change the way you think. It’s not going to be easy to suddenly start giving a shit about yourself after years of not caring at all — but it might be a little bit easier than suddenly loving yourself unconditionally.

Give a shit about whether you make healthy decisions that day.

Give a shit about whether you compliment yourself that day.

This is a guest post.