Please Remember Your Instagram Isn’t Going To Flash Before Your Eyes When You Die

When you get to the end of your life, you aren’t going to be scrolling back through your posts, reminiscing.

You aren’t going to think back to the years that made you who you were and feel thankful that you were able to document them so well on a coordinating grid.

You aren’t going to replay the most important moments of your life and remember yourself pausing to make sure that you shared that dinner, that date, that trip, that achievement.

It’s not that social media isn’t important — it is. It connects us, it mobilizes us, it educates us, and it brings us together.

But it also eclipses our vision in some ways.

Specifically this one: the purpose of your life is not to have a gorgeous Instagram account. I’m sorry, but it’s not. It could be a very fortune and enjoyable perk of living the life of your dreams, but it is not, in itself, the reason why you are alive.

Don’t believe me?

Imagine if you died tomorrow, and had a few last moments to reflect on your life.

You usually don’t recall the big moments, the graduations or wedding days. In fact, what comes to mind is the ordinary things, the day to day joys of being alive. Playing with your toys when you were a kid, moving through your routine in high school, the work you were passionate about in college, sharing nameless hours together with the person you love most.

None of this is to devalue your presence online. It’s important, it’s a business for some people, and it’s really validating for others.

This is only to help you relax a bit, to let go of feeling anxious that you weren’t quite able to portray yourself as well as others. Sometimes, we can confuse this for actually not living a good life.

I am sorry to tell you this but most people who are extremely successful are not posting about every nice dinner, trip or shopping outing. Jay Z is not telling you every time he acquires a new investment; your favorite authors aren’t showing you their royalty checks; the celebrities you think you know are probably going out of their way to avoid sharing anything too personal on their own feeds.

Instagram is not real life, it is just a series of updates about life, that are often turned into art and commodity.

This is not a bad thing, but rather, a reminder that you should not waste another moment of your life trying to make your greatest ambition how well you can appear to other people.

Nobody is looking, because they’re too busy evaluating their own images.

Live your life first, and capture it second.

When you get to the end of your life, you are not going to wish you had posted to Instagram more.

In fact, in 15 years, when we’re all onto the next platform, you’ll probably look back and laugh at all the staged photos and hashtags.

Enjoy it while it’s here, but enjoy what matters most, which is your life. That has an expiration date, too.

This is a guest post and much credit to Brianna Weist.

Trying to Be Perfect Never Works, So Quit It Already!

If you believe it is attainable, you will seek and never find it, you will strive and never achieve it, you will think you’ve got it and then something will happen and you’ll realize you never had it to start with.

It will suck the joy from your life.

There are many of us who have experienced the crippling behavior of perfectionism.

It makes you feel like nothing you are or do is quite enough or quite right.

It leaves you constantly trying to be more, do more, achieve more, make things better and better, until one day you will be able to breathe easy knowing you are perfect, everything you have done is perfect and everything around you is perfect.

It stops you from finishing anything, or it stops you from celebrating what you do finish as you’re too busy looking at what you wish you had done better. This cripples your soul, it torments your mind, it suppresses your creativity, it limits your progress and it slows the pace at which you produce anything (personally or productivity in the workplace). It affects the outcomes you generate and it drastically impacts your enjoyment.

It will cause you to focus on things that simply don’t matter, at the expense of things that truly do matter. It will lead you to see faults, where right next to those faults complete beauty and magic exist.

It will lead you to think you are someone role modelling excellence, when in fact you are role modelling paralyzing over-analysis and complete imbalance in priorities.

It will affect your home life and your career. It will affect your self-esteem and your relationships.

It will impact your thoughts and feelings, and give rise to unnecessary tension and stress.

You will never be perfect, because perfection is not possible. 

Perfection is an illusion. Life by its very nature is imperfect, and you as a human being by your very nature are imperfect.

Additionally, your entire life from birth to death is a process of expansion – to learn and evolve. Perfection goes directly against this process. If you were perfect, and your life were perfect, then you would be done! You would not be here. You could not fulfil the very progression that is inherent in your human nature, and so what would be the point of your life?

Perfection also denies the value and uniqueness of all your imperfections, of all your quirks and development areas, of your beautiful weirdness that you know and I see, and your loved ones adore. Perfection would make you vanilla. You were born much more flavoursome and colourful than that. Your job here in life is to give full expression to every ounce of who you were born as, not to try to fit yourself to a societally defined and unattainable plastic model of “perfection”.

By all means strive for excellence. Have high standards. Face every moment of every day with the intention of being your best self, and giving your all and creating memorable outputs. That will allow you to have inner peace. That will lead you into success. But don’t confuse that with crippling perfectionism. They are completely different perspectives, and give rise to completely different life experiences.

I know all of this because I used to be a perfectionist. So, if you want to change and someone tells you that leopards can’t change their spots, tell them to keep quiet while you prove them wrong!

Stop Criticizing And Start Participating

A couple of years ago, I got myself into trouble in my walk with God. I started getting really into Christian debates. I’m not against people defending the Christian faith, but listening to these arguments consumed me. I would listen to them every day. Before I knew it, I found myself using His Word to prove people wrong, rather than becoming love through relationship with Him.

The Lord brought about an abrupt end me listening to those arguments. I was driving one day, getting riled up about something that I heard a fellow believer say, when God jumped right in the middle of the conversation I was having with myself. He told me very clearly to “Stop criticizing and start participating”.

As believers in a world that is inundated with information and opinions, it has become so easy to shift our strategy to arguing and criticizing rather than simply allowing God to transform us into the image of Christ.

We blame our pastors when we don’t feel like we are growing spiritually. Openly criticize our government leaders for not running the country the way we think it should be run. Blame sinners for not repenting and turning to Jesus, when the truth of the matter is that we have not done a very good job in showing them what Jesus is actually like. When did we allow criticism to replace love as our strongest weapon?

In case you missed this- Social Media (Podcast)

At the end of the day, our Christian walk is about fully surrendering to God and allowing His love to mold and shape us into the image of Jesus. We are to be walking, talking representations of the nature and the glory of God. First John 2: 6 states that, “Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did.” Jesus did not spend His time criticizing and tearing apart the government leaders of His day. The Pharisees tried to bait Him into this tactic, and He didn’t give an inch. His simple response was, “Give to Caesar what is Ceasar’s, and give to God what is God’s” (Matthew 22:21). In other words, God is far more concerned about our heart and our surrender than He is about whether or not we are happy with the current political situation.

My heart breaks every time I’m on Facebook, and I see brothers and sisters in Christ stirring up so much anger, frustration and criticism over current political situations and leaders.


It does not represent our Father well when one second we are openly praising the Lord, and then in the very next breath we are criticizing elected officials. Officials who, according to God’s word, could not have authority if He did not give it to them (Romans 13:1). It does not represent our Father well when in one breath we praise Him, and in the next breath tear apart people. People who share a different opinion than us on a political topic.

“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be” (James 3: 9-10)

The foundation of Jesus’ blueprint to effectively change the world is self-sacrifice and love, not self seeking and criticism.

His blueprint begins with repentance. It starts with laying down our own selfish motives and desires. Choosing to follow the Lord’s path no matter where it leads. Even if it leads to the cross. We need to find our way back there, church. I’ll start…

Lord, I repent, publicly in front of anyone who reads this. I am sorry for any time that I have chosen my way instead of Yours. Sorry for anytime that I have openly criticized one of Your children. I am sorry for any time that I have criticized an anointed teacher of Your word out of pride and conceit.

I am so sorry that I have turned to any of these things rather then simply surrendering and embracing the opportunities. The opportunities that You have put in front of me to love other people. I repent for giving way to fear and self-preservation. I ask You to remove any ounce of hatred within me, and replace it with your supernatural mercy and love. Empower me to live my life like Jesus.

Will you join me today and repent and turn back to the Lord? Will you choose to stop criticizing others and shift that focus? Shift that focus to participating in the journey He has placed in front of you?

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Getting Sucked Into Comparing Yourself To Societies Norms


Have you ever observed people or yourself feeling taunted by social norms?

I’ve noticed the history of this for myself, spanning back to childhood, and I’ve noticed it time and time again for others I encounter in my work, where people have fallen into the hole of comparing themselves to others and comparing themselves to socially accepted norms and measures of ‘success’. Granted, it’s a pretty darn big hole, so actually it’s not that hard to fall into! When I’ve witnessed this Comparison Conundrum as I like to call it, it’s like hearing a cry echoing from deep within the hole, which sounds a bit like this:

  • Everyone else is married now, and I’m not. Something’s wrong.
  • Everyone else is buying houses now, I guess I should too.
  • I’ve got this job but it’s not really a career like other people have.
  • They’ve found their passion, I still don’t know what mine is.
  • I’m falling behind.
  • I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.
  • I want to ‘switch lanes’ in life but I don’t want to go backwards. It’s too risky.
  • They are successful and did it that way; I should do it that way too.
  • They are thinner/more attractive/more fashionable/more successful/braver/stronger than me. I’m not enough. I’ll never be enough.
  • I’m not capable like them, I guess I’m just not destined to have a life like them.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

This hole is so easy to fall into because often we’re invited into the hole, with our mind reinforcing that we’re falling behind via negative thoughts, supported by well meaning people telling us that we should do this and that. So of course we’d then end up in the hole when everything points that way. Our mind reinforces what we see and hear, telling us it is true and if only we could figure out what we need to be and do in order to be like everyone else, then everything would be fine, right?

Except, you’re not everyone else. You’re you. No one is like you. No one. You make your own decisions about what you need and want, and when it feels good to you. If you want a house right now, buy one. If you don’t, don’t. If you want to travel, travel. If you want a big career, have it. If you want to do volunteer work, do it. If you want to be single, be single. If you want kids, have them. If you don’t, don’t. Do what feels good to you, not what others tell you that you should feel good about. And when I say others, I primarily include in that all the advertising, all the propaganda and all the mass media messaging we see day to day that conditions us in a way that we don’t even consciously realise. Start listening to the one thing you can trust – your soul. Your soul is your true self, below any rampant negative thoughts that are leading you astray.

And you might say, “I can’t hear my soul. I don’t know what it’s telling me!”

To which I would suggest that you be still and quiet as often as possible. Listen without fear to what rises up from within you. You do know what you want and need. You do know what makes you feel good. And, let your signals guide you home.

Listening to the advice of others, proffered from their own paradigm, will never triumph over your inner knowing and divine guidance.

  • Do you compare yourself to others?
  • Do you compare your situation and status to that of others?
  • What prompts you to do that?
  • How does that make you feel?

If you’re feeling sad, alone, disconnected, lacking, not enough or plain old exhausted from it, then give it up. Chose to let it go and be open to exploring who you are and what is important and meaningful to the real you – that is, the you below any negative thoughts, any conditioning and any fear. We all have negative thoughts, we have all been conditioned and we all have fear. If you are alive, then you have experienced all of this, it is impossible not to. But now you are awake, and you have the choice to either be defined by these things, or to break free.

Being someone you are not, in an attempt to live up to social norms, means that signals will eventually intervene to help you. As Marianne Williamson says, “The universe is self organising and self correcting”. If you are not aligned to who you really are, your true self, the natural order of the world in which we live will eventually assist you to see this. Intervening signals are not always pleasant, but they are signposts to help us head in a new, better, healthier, more beneficial direction. When things in your life ‘turn to custard’, it could well be because you are not in your flow, you might have accidentally swam into someone else’s flow. So, get out of their river and get in your own

Here is my final word on this subject, and when I say it to you, know that whatever I write is really a message to myself as much as it is to you. For in saying it to you I am reminding us both:

  • NEVER compare yourself to others. EVER.
  • NEVER try to be someone else. EVER.
  • You were born extraordinary and unique.
  • Any time you compare yourself to others, trying to be something else or like someone else, you deny the beautiful individuality that you were gifted when your soul chose to come into this life.

Create your own norms in life. The norms of society have no bearing on you unless you choose them. At all times, be yourself. There is nothing more magical, perfect and beautiful than you being you.


Repost: 8 Reasons It’s So Hard To Be Genuine In A Society That’s Uncomfortable With Radical Honesty

After getting in touch with one of my great writers “Brianna Weist” I decided to repost one of her greatest write up.

1. If society had a mantra, it would be: “Be yourself… No, not like that!” We encourage people to be their authentic selves, and at the same time, we are even more adamant about people adhering to the appropriate social code of the moment. So, you can be yourself, as long as that person is aligned with our singular idea of what “authenticity” looks like.

2. People only like authenticity when it’s comforting, not when it makes them question their own choices and ideals. People are only supportive when someone’s life choices support or validate their own. When our main mode of gauging our acceptability is evaluating other people’s lives by upward or downward comparisons to our own, it’s hard to see their actions independent of what they “mean” to us.

3. “Following your own path” is terrifying – because it’s unknown. Following someone else’s road at least lets you know where you’re going. The reason most people take the road most travelled is because forging your way through the uncharted terrain is f*#king terrifying. (How ironic, that when you’re truly “on path” you usually feel most lost, or most uncertain.)

4. We think that being genuine is being radically happy, because you’re just “doing what you want.” A lot of the time, however, being genuine brings up more problems than it does solutions. (At least, in the beginning.) Do you stay in the closet, or stay close to your family? Do you pursue a new career, or remain more financially stable? How do we navigate our way through the center? What matters more, at the end of the day?

5. Most people can’t see anything as valid unless they agree with it. So you can really only be genuine with some people, unless you want to offend and lose others in your life.

6. We’re a world of overthinkers, and when we’re not overthinking our own lives, we’re making judgments about other people’s. When we’re anxious about other people judging our lives, it’s because we subconsciously know that they, uh, are. It’s a matter of realizing this is true for everyone, and that they’ll judge whether we’re doing what we want or not.

7. It seems impossible to be honest about not wanting to hang out, or be friend with someone, or tell them that you think they should reconsider a choice, without mortally offending them. “Just be real with me!” is the ultimate commitment in modern friendship, though the opposite is usually true. It’s not normal to be able to contact people 24/7 – wanting space is not a statement against someone as a person. Having to be honest about why someone is making a terrible choice ultimately culminates in them thinking you don’t “support” them.

8. We think that we can only be friends with people who we agree with on everything. So if we want to change our lives, or our ideas, or ourselves, we have to do so with the knowledge that we may be exchanging our friends and their love and companionship.

Ignore Society, This Is How You Should Be Labeled

Most people label you by what you wear, the kind of car you drive, what job you have and how much money you make. Often these labels are shallow and impermanent, but this is how society likes to define us and consequently, this is how we sometimes define ourselves. But what we should really be labeled by; is who we are and who we’re trying to be.

You should be labeled by your pain. The hardships you endured, how gravely you suffered, the heartbreak that left you empty, the wounds that scarred your veins and the tragedies that became part of your story.

You should be labeled by you strength. How you survived your pain, how you healed or how you’re still healing, how you’re going to fight through the bad days and how you’re overcoming your own fears.

You should be labeled by your kindness. By how giving you are and how big your heart is, by how forgiving you are and how compassionate you can be. By how far you’re willing to go for those you love without expecting anything in return and how much you’re willing to compromise for them.

You should be labeled by your love. How you can do anything for the one you love and how supportive you can be to your closest friends. How protective you are and how loyal you are and how you continue to love even after you’ve been hurt.

You should be labeled by your dreams. What you really want to be doing, how you want to change the world, how you want to change lives or change your life and how you want to be remembered long after you’re gone. You should be defined by your wishes and your dreams not by what you do to make ends meet.

You should be labeled by your hidden beauty. The beauty that shines from the inside, the beauty that has got nothing to with makeup or pretty outfits. The beauty that people can only see when they know you and discover the treasures you hold within.

You should be labeled by your soul. The energy you exude, the way you make people feel, the way you help them see the best in themselves and the way you try to make someone’s life better. How you see God, how you trust the universe and how you connect with the world around you.

You should be labeled by all the things that touched your heart and the things that blew your mind. You shouldn’t be labeled by the things that make you conform, you should be labeled by the things that make you stand out.
If you follow what society brings, you will be lost in the wind. Be true to yourself and brand it hard