You Can’t Avoid Suffering, You Just Pick What You’re Willing To Suffer For

You can’t avoid suffering. You can’t avoid pain. It’s a given and life becomes so much easier when we accept that reality.

The more you care about someone, the more you’ll hurt when they let you down. The more you’re passionate about something, the more heartbroken you will be when you lose it.

Ironically, the things that bring us joy are also the things that bring us pain. The people we love are also the people who break our hearts and that’s the essence of life.

You won’t find something you love given to you freely without an ounce of pain or suffering. The journey to happiness and love is full of suffering and pain. You won’t fall in love with someone until you’ve seen them at their worst, learned how to forgive them and accept their difficulties.

Ultimately, we’re only fooling ourselves when we say that the things we love shouldn’t make us suffer but they do. I love my job but I lose sleep at night when I mess up and I can’t forgive myself for the smallest errors because I actually care about my performance.
I’m more sensitive when I have feelings for someone and more likely to take their actions personally. I love my friends but it hurts when we don’t talk as much or lose touch because of our responsibilities.

While the level of suffering is not the same for each, it’s still suffering but to me, it’s better than suffering at a job I hate or suffering because I’m with someone I don’t adore or suffering because I have no friends. In this case, I’m picking the things and the people I want to suffer for. I’m picking who’s worth my pain. I’m choosing the lesser of two evils.

But to sit there and say you can avoid suffering is one big lie and to expect that the things you love or live for will not make you suffer is also delusional because it’s always the things we love that have the power to hurt us, whether our careers, our friends, our families or our relationships and there’s nothing you could do that would change that.

Essentially, what you should be asking yourself is who’s worth suffering for and what’s worth the pain? Essentially, life is more about picking your battles rather than avoiding them.

Because you can play it safe instead of trying and taking risks and you can try to avoid pain or heartbreak by stopping people from getting too close to hurting you but you also miss out on living your best life when you shelter yourself from the tough experiences that could change your life. You sit on the sidelines watching life pass you by, which is the worst kind of suffering in my opinion.

You suffer more when you choose not to participate in life. You suffer more when you refuse to let the pain make you grow. You suffer more when you shut people out. You suffer more when you lead a lonely and banal life.

This is a guest post.

Making Sense of Suffering And pain

The first Bible character that comes to mind when we think of suffering is Job. You can look closely at that story and come to the conclusion that God not only allowed Job’s suffering, but also initiated it ( since He knew how Satan would respond to His questions). However, is it possible that God doesn’t see pain and suffering like we do? Certainly He understands our pain and suffering (Hebrews 4:15), but He also has a vantage view of the big picture which we don’t have.

Have you ever looked back on a situation that you had once prayed for and you were glad that prayer was never answered? Or wished something never happened , but you look back and say I’m so glad it happened? That’s how Joseph felt when he first revealed himself to his brothers who had sold him to slavery: Genesis 45:4b-5

“I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. And now do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life.”

That was Joseph’s view in hindsight, ‘you may have thought you were simply selling me to slavery, but God actually planned for me to go through this for your sake.’ The question arises, are we able to truly perceive what is ‘good’ for us with no benefit of foresight?

There is another mindset which really clouds our view of suffering and pain. This is the assumption that as long as I stay faithful to God, then all will be good for me. If suffering or pain comes my way, then it must be because I have sinned or wronged God. First, I must state clearly that we do reap what we sow, that’s evident in all scripture (see Galatians 6:7-8). And our actions do have consequences. But we often wrongly assume that all ‘bad’ external circumstances equate to a consequence of sin. The primary damage of sin is internal – separation from God. So everything may seemingly be going well externally in life, but you are separated from God. And everything could be falling apart around you and you are right where God wants you. Jesus’ disciples’ wrestled with this mindset as well, see John 9: 1-3. They had asked Jesus if a certain man was blind because of sin. Jesus responded:

“It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him

As you can see, it is really a shallow view to think that good things only happen to good people and bad things never do. A lot of Hollywood celebrities sure seem to have a lot of ‘good’ coming their way. See Matthew 5:45

“So that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.”

In fact, it’s not a question of if we’ll experience pain and suffering it’s a question of when. See John 16:33

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world “

There’s more to say on this topic, which will be addressed in a later post. But, here are some thoughts i would like to leave you with.

  • God’s vantage point allows Him to see suffering and pain much different than we do
  • God uses our pain and suffering to serve a much higher purpose than we can imagine
  • Our human vantage point makes it hard to really discern what is truly good for us
  • In this broken world, we can expect pain which has nothing to do with how much faith you have or how close you walk with God
  • It is natural to ask ‘Why?’, ‘Why Me?’ in the midst of suffering, but it doesn’t help. The better question is: ‘God, what are you up to?’

I just learnt something over the weekend that, there is no use suffering unnecessarily, trying to get things done by ourselves. It only leads to disappointments. The questions will be asked, people will laugh at you but the deal is that God is up to something. ” believe “.

You Can’t Avoid Suffering, You Just Pick What You’re Willing To Suffer For

You can’t avoid suffering. You can’t avoid pain. It’s a given and life becomes so much easier when we accept that reality.

The more you care about someone, the more you’ll hurt when they let you down. The more you’re passionate about something, the more heartbroken you will be when you lose it.
Ironically, the things that bring us joy are also the things that bring us pain. The people we love are also the people who break our hearts and that’s the essence of life.
You won’t find something you love given to you freely without an ounce of pain or suffering. The journey to happiness and love is full of suffering and pain. You won’t fall in love with someone until you’ve seen them at their worst, learned how to forgive them and accept their difficulties.

Ultimately, we’re only fooling ourselves when we say that the things we love shouldn’t make us suffer but they do. I love my job but I lose sleep at night when I mess up and I can’t forgive myself for the smallest errors because I actually care about my performance. I’m more sensitive when I have feelings for someone and more likely to take their actions personally. I love my friends but it hurts when we don’t talk as much or lose touch because of our responsibilities.

While the level of suffering is not the same for each, it’s still suffering but to me, it’s better than suffering at a job I hate or suffering because I’m with someone I don’t adore or suffering because I have no friends. In this case, I’m picking the things and the people I want to suffer for. I’m picking who’s worth my pain. I’m choosing the lesser of two evils.

But to sit there and say you can avoid suffering is one big lie and to expect that the things you love or live for will not make you suffer is also delusional because it’s always the things we love that have the power to hurt us, whether our careers, our friends, our families or our relationships and there’s nothing you could do that would change that.

Essentially, what you should be asking yourself is who’s worth suffering for and what’s worth the pain? Essentially, life is more about picking your battles rather than avoiding them.

Because you can play it safe instead of trying and taking risks and you can try to avoid pain or heartbreak by stopping people from getting too close to hurting you but you also miss out on living your best life when you shelter yourself from the tough experiences that could change your life. You sit on the sidelines watching life pass you by, which is the worst kind of suffering in my opinion.

You suffer more when you choose not to participate in life. You suffer more when you refuse to let the pain make you grow. You suffer more when you shut people out. You suffer more when you lead a lonely and banal life.

Questions About God That Will Remain As Questions

BY CHRISTINE LAILANI GINETE – ROME

BY CHRISTINE LAILANI GINETE – ROME

When it comes to faith, there are experiences in life that made us ask some questions about God. Find out what they are and their answers.

When it comes to faith, there are some questions about God that many of us have encountered one way or the other. These questions may have been fueled by doubts but they, in turn, have made our faith even stronger. Here are some of those questions:

What Are Your Questions About God?

  1. If God is the God of all, why did He allow sin to enter the world?
  2. Did God, being the Creator, create hell?
  3. If God is a powerful God, why can’t He eradicate every famine, oppression, sickness, poverty, crime, war, and all that is considered sin and evil in this world?
  4. Why must people continue to suffer and perish because of the sin that Adam & Eve committed if God is a loving God?
  5. Why must God allow Satan to test Job?

These are questions about God that have been answered and explained by a lot of biblical scholars. All the answers vary, and some can lead to even more questions. When I was still new in my faith, I also asked these questions. And when I celebrated my 5th year as a Christian this year, I still asked these questions. The only difference between the two scenarios is that I haven’t read much of the Bible before but now it’s the opposite.

If we are to assess these questions based on our human thinking and understanding and try to come up with only one good answer, it’s impossible. But if we are to ask these questions in light of the Scripture listed below, we will begin to understand they will remain as questions and it is only God who can answer them.

Here are the bible verses:

“For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:9

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” – Hebrews 11:1

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” – Revelation 21:4

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace” – Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.” – John 14:1

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33

In Christianity and faith, there is no room for doubt. It’s because the Scripture which is God-breathed, assured us already that our journey here on earth is never alone because He sent to us our partner and our guide and that is the Spirit who will lead us always.

Do you have experiences in your life that brought you to ask these questions about God? If yes, what are they?

Photo credit: Pinterest

Identify Your Major Worries

depression, teen depression, pain, suffering, tunnel.

The flip side of the above questions is this: What are my three biggest worries or concerns in life right now? What bothers you, worries you, concerns you, and preoccupies you in your day-to-day life? What aggravates or irritates you? What is robbing you of happiness, more than anything else? As a friend of mine often asks, “Where does it hurt?”

Once you have identified your biggest problems, worries, or concerns, ask yourself,

  • What are the ideal solutions to each of these problems?
  • How could i eliminate these problems or worries immediately?
  • What is the fastest and most direct way to solve each problem?